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This Week in Health News: The First Penis Transplant in the USA, and Should Men Over 40 Avoid Having Children? Judging by the number of helpful people who offer insightful advice like “You just need more confidence,” there must be plenty of it out there, growing on trees, bushes and all around, just waiting to be picked. When you feel like you’re invisible and inaudible, like nothing you say is of any consequence and nothing you do matters or is good enough, confidence is very hard to find. In my case, low self-esteem has been one of the most crushing aspects of depression and its lingering aftermath. Even in areas where you used to feel confident – things you once knew you could do well – you can lose belief completely, and that lack of faith in yourself can prevent you from doing anything. When you’re so self-critical, you assume everyone else thinks the same, so you can become paranoid and anxious.
I find it helpful to write down positive things that happen to me, and nice things that people say, on a daily basis, and to read these notes regularly to remind myself that actually I’m doing pretty well and it will take more than a bad day to undo the progress I’ve made. Aside from that, I guess it’s just a matter of giving yourself time, being patient and not giving up. All information on talkhealth sites is purely for information purposes only and does not constitute a replacement for professional medical advice.
When you think of how to prepare for a job interview, consider what you'd need to do to manage self-doubt and appear more confident.


Contact us to discuss additional ways of approaching an interview with confidence.  You don't want to lack of confidence to stand in your way when you have the competence and the character that would make you a strong fit for a job. For more information subscribe to our blog and follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google+. I had an in depth conversation yesterday with three friends on Skype about the areas where women lack confidence the most. As usual with us introverts answers came to me hours after the conversation (4am!) as I began to wonder whether we do. Now I have no formal study on this, it is all my own opinion, my opinion as a life coach who works with women and based on my personal experience.
After reflecting on our conversation I thought it would be great to write about this to see if you agree and also to see if you could think of any others. Being afraid of making a mistake, being afraid of making the wrong choice, being afraid of things not turning out the way we hoped and being able to beat ourselves up about it when it doesn’t keeps us stuck. I know procrastination doesn’t just affect women but it seems taking that first step, getting started and stepping through our own personal limits really stops women taking action. I know men who talk and then do (yes, I do know men who talk and don’t do as well) and I know women who talk and then do but unfortunately I know far more women who talk, and talk, and wish and hope but never really get round to actually doing anything. I actually never really had any experience, advice or help with this area so I just did as I was told most of the time with no regard for whether I should expect anything in return. I remember being on my Master Practitioner NLP course and there was a man who had completed his NLP beginners just like I had, but unlike me (who felt the need to learn everything before I considered taking on clients) he was already building a business and had 7 clients plus had created an audio CD that he gave out at talks. I thought maybe my lack of action was just down to me lacking self confidence but it turned out that while many men in the room (not all of course) had been busy building their business many of us women were still considering how and when we were going to get started.
Whether it is because we are worried about what other people think of us or we spend all our time comparing ourselves to other people we can be quite hard on ourselves and blame ourselves for everything that happens using that as a reason to feel bad.


My generation born in the 60s was raised in the most part by women born in the 40s and 50s – The generation of the 80s and 90s raised by women like myself born in the 60s and 70s – with each generation it seems the younger ones want more than their mothers had and they are getting it.
At some point hopefully balance will be achieved and a confident generation of women will be born thanks to the gifts of confidence passed down by their mothers and their grandmothers. Do you have any other areas where you believe women lack confidence the most that you would like to add? It’s like the nasty green stuff you still find yourself coughing up three weeks after a cold.
In reality, you do still have the abilities you had before depression came along, and it’s unlikely that you really look much different, so don’t let the voice of depression tell you otherwise. All these things are difficult when you’re beating yourself up over everything, but you can’t just flick a switch and suddenly feel confident, so just try doing some small things when you feel able to.
The fact that you were called for an interview means that your prospective employer already sees you as a strong candidate; that you've been picked from a large pool of applicants indicates that you have qualities they're looking for. We seem to have this inbuilt fear monitor that frets and worries about everything that might happen and has happened.  It can stop us from stepping out and taking risks with our lives. We focus more on what our body looks like, our age and we spend time dying our hair, adding botox to our face and doing other things to defy ageing instead of embracing it.
It festers in your head and makes you feel lousy – small, insignificant and feeble, yet angry that you should feel that way, or that others might not value you as much as you think they should. Over the last 100 years there have been so many ways women have been told to behave and we have had to evolve so much – especially after World War II –  is it surprising that sometimes we wonder how to be comfortable with ourselves.



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