One day when you are older and your children have started their own families and have moved to another city or state, or when your friends become elderly and pass away, your wife is the one who will still be right at your side.
These powerful verses are like a mirror.A If you will be brave enough to look honestly into that mirror, you will find that Paul lists fifteen powerfulA points about the love of God and how it behaves. You could say thatA agape is a love that isna€™t based on response but on a decision to keep on loving, regardless of a recipienta€™s response or lack of response.
This word means to assign, to designate, to allocate, orA to intentionally give something to someone. It refers to a calculated decision to show attention, awareness,or consideration to someone else.
In this case, it refers to a man purposefully showing attention to and consideration for his wife.
The wordA makros may indicate something that is long, distant, far, remote, or of long duration.
Because Peter uses the Greek wordA aponemo (a€?givinga€?), this strongly suggests that the husbanda€™s attention, awareness, and consideration dona€™t occur accidentally. It can be translated as the words forbearance and patience.A The wordA makrothumia (a€?longsufferinga€?) is like a candle that has a very long wick. He tells husbands that they are to give honor unto the wife as unto the a€?weaker vessel.a€?A The word a€?weakera€? does not mean inferior or substandard. It is readyA to forbear and patiently wait until a certain person finally comes around, makes progress, changes, or hears what you are trying to communicateA or teach him. This is the Greek word asthenes, which actually carries the idea ofA something that is fragile and of great value, like a priceless, beautiful, hand-painted porcelain vase that must be treated with supreme care.
In fact, the harder the fight and the longer the struggle, the more committedA agape love becomes. Like a candle with an endless wick, it just keeps burning and burning and burning, for it never knows how to quit. She is to be given a place of high honor in his life, as if she were a fragile and priceless vessel. This,A of course, is contrary to human nature, which says, a€?Ia€™m sick and tired of waiting and believing. When you and your wife approach a door, open the door for her and let her goA through the door first.
If you step through the door first and then let the door slamA in your wifea€™s face as she follows behind you, you give her the impression that sheA is of little value to you. In other words, God has magnificently bestowed on you sufficient love to be longsuffering in any relationship or situation.A Goda€™s love has literally been poured forth, dispensed, and shed abroad in your heart. When your wife walks up or down the stairs or when she gets in or out of the car,A show enough consideration for her to reach out and take her by the hand and helpA her.
It supernaturally becomes stronger and more committedA the longer it takes to get through to the heart of the one who is loved. Instead,A agape makes you want to bend over backwards to become what others need you to be for them! Instead of spending all the extra money on yourself, on your fishing trip, or on yourA personal pleasures, why not sacrifice a few of your own desires and give her thatA extra money to go do something for herself?
Thus, the word a€?kinda€? portraysA a willingness to serve and to change in order to meet the needs of others. When you give her a check or cashA and tell her to go buy something for herself, it will probably shock her!
But as sheA realizes that you are making a sacrifice of your own desires to bless her, it will sendA a gigantic signal that you love her and want to bless her.A 4. Instead, it is always reaching out, thinking and focusing primarily on theA needs of others.
SheA works hard to be beautiful for you, and it is only right that you acknowledge itA when she looks pretty.


This is a person so bent on getting his own way that he is willing to sacrifice anything or anyone to get it. He is so consumed with himself thatA he doesna€™t ever think of the needs or desires of others. If you have sons, you are also providingA a good example to them of the way they should honor their own future wives.A 6.
You see, real agape love doesna€™t think of itself first but is always looking outward, thinking of the other person rather than itself. Now you must look into Goda€™s a€?mirrora€? and see what it tells you about your own life today. When you give her time that is completelyA undistracted, it lets her know that you want to be with her. When you are at work, remember to pick up the telephone to call her during the day,A just to let her know you are thinking about her. It doesna€™t take long for you to makeA a quick phone call, but that moment of consideration means a lot to your wifebecause it communicates to her how much you value her.
Are you more focused on people around you than on yourself?A If your answer is yes to these questions, then praise God for the great growth and spiritual maturity you have gained in your life.
I realizeA that Ia€™ve allowed myself to get clogged up with my own self-interests far too often. If you always have time to be with everyone else butA never have time with her, you are sending her the message that she is the lowest priorityA in your life.
I realize that the only way I canA become this selfless is to yield to the Holy Spirit so He can do a deep work in my life. So take a few minutesA every so often to write a little note or card and leave it for your wife to find. HowA much time and effort does it take for you to pick up an ink pen and a piece of paperA and write two or three sentences of appreciation to your wife? Ita€™s a small investmentA of time and creativity that speaks volumes to your wife about your love for her.A 10. I am so concerned about the welfare of others that one of myA chief priorities in life is to become everything I need to be to meet their needs. Always remember special dates, such as your wifea€™s birthday or your weddingA anniversary. Men tend to forget these things, but these are special memories to aA wife and it means so much to her when these times are celebrated with her husband.A Also, dona€™t forget to buy her a gift for these occasions.
Although God has given me my ownA dreams and desires, I never neglect to help others achieve their dreams and aspirations asA well. Can you say that you are longsuffering and patient with others, or would you have to admit that you tend to be short-tempered and quick to a€?blow your topa€? when other people dona€™t do exactly what you expected them to do?A 2. If you do any of theseA eleven things, you are sending a wrong signal to your wife, for none of theseA actions will make her feel cherished and treasured by you. Can you say that you are compliant to the needs of those around you, or would you have to say you are continually demanding that others meet your needs? Even if she smiles and laughs, trying to shrug off your verbal jabs,A this kind of behavior on your part is deeply hurtful to your wife. If there is a conflict between you, wait until you get homeA where you can talk about it privately, but never make fun of her or put her downA in front of others.
And I must ask you again, do you want her to point outA all your flaws in front of other people? You would prefer that she speak to you privatelyA about such matters, so show her the same courtesy.A A 3. Never tell your wife there isna€™t enough money in the budget for her to buy a new outfitA a€” and then turn right around and spend a lot of money on yourself, your fishingA trip, your hobbies, grills, tv's etc. When she sees you do this, it communicates to her that youA love yourself more than you love her.


When you consistently make time for everyone in your life except yourA wife, you are making a very big mistake. If needed, cancel something in your scheduleA so you can give attention to this most important relationship in your life.A A 5. Too often men act as if they are racing when they walk,A usually leaving their wives to walk five to fifteen feet behind them.
Now, I understandA that you may think your wife walks too slowly, but what is the use of racing in frontA of her if you must then stop, turn around, and wait for her to catch up with you?
ItA takes the same amount of time to get to your destination, whether you walk alongsideA your wife or you walk ahead and then wait for her.
She wants to be the one and onlyA woman in your life, so comparing her to other women is not wise and shows greatA disrespect. Your sexual relationship is a time ofA intimacy that is to be shared only between the two of you.
Therefore, when youA make jokes about it or talk about it in front of others, you are humiliating your wifeA and making her feel cheap. This is certainly not a way to cherish her or to treat herA like a treasure!A 8.Never lie to your wife or tell a half-truth to cover your tracks. If you violate her trust by lying to her and she discovers it,A your act of deception will affect her ability to trust you in the future.
It may be difficult for her to hear what you have to say, but at least she will know you are being honest with her. If she discovers you have been lying to her, this will result in a far greater hurt than if you honestly admit to her what you have done wrong.A 9. Men who consistently forget these twoimportant dates and yet expect their marriage relationship to stay healthy are either ignorant or stupid. As noted earlier, the word a€?givea€? describesA a calculated decision to show attention, awareness, or consideration to someone else.
This pictures a purposeful and premeditated action by a husband to intentionally showattention and demonstrate consideration for his wife.A If these kinds of thoughtful acts dona€™t come naturally to you, ita€™s time for you to learn how to doA them. The truth is that you showA kindness and consideration to other people, so youA can do the same for your wife as well. After you talk to the Lord,A it is also important that you humble yourself and ask your wife to forgive you as well. Let the Holy Spirit teach you, correct you, and show you how to becomeA more sensitive to the woman you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. I accept responsibilityA for the role I have played in wounding her and making her feel unimportant. As I follow Your leading in this area, please heal my wifea€™s heart andA bring tenderness back into our relationship once more. I accept Your challenge to purposefullyA show the honor, attention, respect, and tenderness she deserves. My wife feels loved, respected, esteemed, andA special because I do the things that communicate value to her.
When is the last time you did something really extra special for your wife toA show her how much you love and care for her?A 2.
Have you been guilty of jesting about your wife in front of others or of puttingA her down in front of the children?



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