There have been times when I’ve spent a lot of time alone, particularly since I often worked out of my home, but there were always others (my sons who were at their father’s for a week or my husband who was at work all day and at evening events) who would be returning.
It’s different to live alone knowing no one is coming back to a shared abode later in the day or week or month.
The truth is that most of the time, when I pay attention I become aware that I am truly enjoying being alone. Sit quietly, watch your breath, and repeat to yourself: soft belly, soft breath, soft belly, soft breath. Diane, I know exactly what you mean- I have actually worked out a pretty fluid but nevertheless consistent schedule around meals and other self care (especially in the morning.) I find that if I start out that way I end up getting further with what I want to do in the day. Oriah, I’m sitting on a porch in Los Angeles, remembering how I spoke with a therapist about this issue years ago, about how I never felt lonely, and how that made me feel less than human. Of course, that celebratory feeling dissipated the feeling of loneliness, so there I was again, in a pleasurable solitude, wondering what lonliness might feel like. I remember you giving birth, and even in this most private of moments there was a community.
It often takes time to realise what happens to be able to turn back to enjoying my aloneness. Life Stylist, Producer and Founder of VividLife.me, reaching over 3 million around the globe. Through over 10,000 blogs, audio conversations and videos, VividLife.me provides you with the most current, optimistic and inspiring content, empowering you to live a happy, healthy and wealthy life mind, body and spirit. This free passive relaxation script was written to induce a state of total mind-body relaxation. The content of this website, including all music, all text, all downloads, all music samples and all other material are owned or controlled by Spire Audio or their content and technology providers. Enjoy our free meditation downloads, receive informative meditation tips, and benefit from special offers on guided meditations and meditation music.
Thirty-eight years ago, when I moved to Toronto to go to college, I shared a home with five other students.


At times I spent time alone in the wilderness- often weeks- but I knew I would be going home to others when my solo time was complete. I stopped at a market and bought yogurt and blueberries and a bunch of pale yellow roses for my apartment. The gift of living alone, of having a space that is simply my home, is finding that I do not have to choose between being with myself or being with others.
Trained in a shamanic tradition, her medicine name Mountain Dreamer means one who likes to find and push the edge. Yikes…hard to believe it has been that long since my youngest child (of 3) flew the coop ! They helped to save my friends life who was on a path of self destruction and have meant so much to me. Our circumstances are reversed, I remarried two years ago after eight years of living alone in the aftermath of my previous partners death.
Human beings are social, but whether alone or with others, they must deal with the added complexities of living in the entangling space of mind, which makes the distinction between loneliness and aloneness, even in the middle of a party. Only i feel bad about it when i start having thoughts about what other people might think about me. Browsing VividLife.me you find engaging materials from thought leaders, best-selling authors and wellness experts from around the globe.
It's a perfect prelude to a guided meditation and takes about 7-9 minutes to read aloud.Read it calmly and slowly and you'll find that anyone within earshot will quickly begin to sink into a very relaxed state of mind indeed.
I lived alone for a brief time after finishing college, but quickly became involved with a man and moved in with him after only nine months of solo living. But some of it is appreciation for the privilege of having the means and the time to simply be fully with myself. And as I walked past the spectacular gardens of the homes in my neighbourhood I felt a deep sense of contentment. Of course, I never had to choose between these two- but when I live with others I often unconsciously turn too much of my face toward the other and away from my own life.


Using story, poetry and shamanic ceremony Oriah’s deeply personal writing and her work as a group facilitator and mentor explore how to follow the thread of our heart’s longing into a life where we can choose joy without denying the challenges of a human life. I have a good life, good friends and a lot of interests but society dictates something is missing.
I walked slowly, savouring the scent of flowers on the warm night air, anticipating bringing the beauty of fresh roses into the two small rooms that are my home.
When I have spent enough time alone at the computer, I can easily walk to a bookstore or the market or the community centre and be around others living their lives, feeling how my little tributary is part of a much bigger river, how we are all interconnected as we live our own lives.
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But some of my inability to be with another and not abandon myself came from an unconscious strategy developed early in life- trying to earn my place to be by taking care of others’ needs. When I sit with it and ask, “What is this feeling?” I occasionally think, “Oh, this is loneliness.” Although rare, when it does arise, I just notice it and am careful not to start telling myself a story about it. While I now know this to be unnecessary for belonging it is in living alone that I learn to truly enjoy being fully with myself. In fact loneliness, like other feelings, comes and goes and is quite bearable if we can refrain from adding painful (and imaginary) stories to temporary discomfort. Sitting still I realize that what I call loneliness is most often a vague desire to have someone around to distract me from some deeper discomfort. Like the knowledge that I am resisting working on the new book or some anxiety or ambivalence I would rather ignore.



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