Unfortunately, I was unaware that badges sold out almost instantly, and I was out of luck – that is, until I made a whiny tweet. I will gloss over some details to avoid a novella, but I hope I can properly express the intense gamut of physical and emotional rollercoasters that lasted four eternal days.
After a lot of back-and-forth and overly complicated math, I asked my mother to drive me to the airport at 8PM and I would try to sleep there to keep her from having to drive an hour back to her home at 4AM. After a lot of worrying that the Blue Snowball microphone I was carrying would be mistaken for a bomb, I was ushered through security with no problems.
The bus proved a bit more of a challenge, because their schedules are a bit less frequent than the trains. I dropped off my bag, and while I could have waited for another bus, I wasn't sure of the times, so I decided to try a new resource I'd never partaken – an Uber! I sat outside the convention center, trying to get a bit more of a charge on my phone until Patrick brought me a badge. Before the night was done, I made a long-ish walk away from the PAX center, not sure what I was looking for. When I get to the place I'm staying, I find that I'm sharing a floor of a house with another couple who was attending PAX. I get to my room (three flights of stairs to get here!) just before my phone is ready to die for good.
After finally figuring out the Rubik's cube shower knobs, I made my way back into Boston with intent to buy a new charger. I made my way to the Street Fighter V area where the powerhouses of the community were still duking it out in an invitational tournament.
My next celebrity sight-seeing trip was to the Iron Galaxy booth, specifically to see Dave Lang, the CEO of Iron Galaxy. It was getting late, and I soon had a dinner reservation with old friends from the Penny Arcade forums. I considered taking the transit, as I was getting more comfortable with it, but it was about the same amount of time to walk, so I figured I'd see the sights! It was almost immediately after I passed the first train station that I began to receive requests for loose change.
This experience was echoed through dinner as the server, a nice lady in a short black dress, continued to bring me ice water after I downed them quickly. I won't speak prices as it seems a bit gauche, but let's say that my meal was a bill for a week's worth of my groceries (though I do shop thrifty!).
I decided to order my steak medium (I prefer well-done) because I wanted to fit in a bit better. The outing ended with me giving a gift of some fancy-ish hazelnut Hershey's to Patrick, with one box for him to give to Robert Khoo for giving me a badge. I climb up three flights of stairs on my achy feet, shimmy myself into my bed, plug in my dying phone, and watch the newest episode of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. The next morning, during my routine, I accidentally broke a tiny drinking glass in the bathroom of my hostess. Transit was a bit less successful this day, as the buses didn't run nearly as frequently on Sunday. The day began with PAXMANIA II, a faux-wrestling event held by journalists and developers that was insanely entertaining. I met up with Jerma once again, and after a long chat where he introduced me to Mala (another popular figure in the Team Fortress 2 community), we temporarily parted ways as I went to the nearby SFV area for some more gaming and watching. As I sat to watch the Overwatch stream from my seat in the SFV area, Jerma and Mala joined me, and we enjoyed the end of the match.
After that, Jerma, Star, Ashley (Star's wife), and another couple whose names escape me (sorry!) went to enjoy a tabletop game.
The entire time, my brain was telling me that I was a third wheel, an annoying fan, a hovering Harold just buzzing around the famous Youtube guys, but I hope that my logic brain was right in telling me that they genuinely enjoyed my company. After a quick walk back to Jerma's hotel to grab his bag, we parted ways with a hug initiated by Jerma. I made my way to the train station, and navigated the transit system with ease back to my place of stay.
No one had yet mentioned the broken glass, so I remain steadfast in believing it was really no big deal.
With my final few hours in Boston, I decided to randomly ride the train system around the city to discover new sights. Most of my time was spent sitting on a bench near the building that looks suspiciously like a Playstation 4 console. Also in the store is the other volumes and two familiar prints, but one new and interesting thing! A fella named Alex from Fold Up Toys reached out to me one day and said he designs papercraft models of toys, and asked if I'd like one made of Ronnie. Something about that I have a Patreon, and if every reader threw in a buck a month, I could do a comic every single day. I think at one point I went on a tirade about 14th century monarchy, and something about toxic strands of yeast.
Two Frosty Mart employees were fired last week when a Secret Shopper caught them violating several Frosty Mart regulations. Boog and Lenny freak out when they learn a Secret Shopper is coming to evaluate the Frosty Mart and will close it down if they fail.


The boys hide in the freezer to avoid it, and Lenny and Boog enter, wondering what happened. Fanboy uses a lamp to thaw the Secret Shopper, but the script originally said he uses a hammer to smash the ice around him. Following "The Hard Sell", "Chicken Pox" and "The Janitor's Apprentice", this is the fourth episode where nearly the whole episode remains inside a building.
After Fanboy says "Oh, I gotta chill", his and Chum Chum's tags disappear and never return. Step 3) You will be instantly emailed your shopper packet including Getting Started instructions. Pretty much all of my favorite internet celebrities would be there, and I simply wanted to get my photo taken with them. This involved engaging with the 'Charlie Pass' system that allows you to ride all mass transit with a single fee.
Fortunately, I got on the correct bus, and it was being driven by a wonderfully kind woman who was more than happy to answer my questions about the stops. The phone's charge was getting terribly low, because the night before at the airport, the only outlets were monopolized by sleeping people, and a girl who sat on the floor in front of the outlet talked on her phone for two solid hours (and didn't budge when she was done talking). At this point, I hadn't slept in 24 hours, and it was time to start sitting down and watching people do video game related things. Each time I did, I looked like an insane person as I would snap back awake with a startled face and an audible gasp. His microphone wasn't very good, and since he lives in Vietnam, it's highly costly for him to buy electronics from overseas. It was about then I realized I hadn't eaten since those brownies the night before, and being awake for that amount of time makes you a heck of a lot hungrier. Patrick Klepek was making hotdogs and throwing them at us, but to my shagrin, I could do nothing but doze off time and time again.
I was considering the transit system, which was still a bit unusual to this country boy, but I wasn't seeing anyone go into the station.
After some wandering around north of Boston, I found a convenience store where I bought a charger.
It was a very slow, unfruitful affair coupled with a very loud Ghostbusters cosplayer who made my ears sad.
Before it began, however, I wanted to sit down at the free-play area with fellow SFV players.
I felt like the most special person on earth at that moment, and no matter what happened for the rest of the weekend, it would still be the best weekend of my life, and fully worth the monetary cost. He was extremely busy, so I contented myself with looking at him briefly, then heading back to SFV to play some more games. Mostly, I ended up on the 'beginner' side of the SFV tables, and felt extremely bad that I was crushing new players. Patrick (who got me into the convention), his wife Hannah, Bill (A moderator on the forums) and his wife Ashley. As I passed three people perched against a large old window, one of the women shook her cup loudly at me, exclaiming “We got a special one, here! While I was thankful for the lack of dress code, I was still the odd man out at this eatery of fanciness.
When the bag was returned to me later that night, the highly-dressed man who brought it to me could not have been more of a professional about it. Bill and Ashley were kind enough to treat me to the meal as part of Patrick's birthday, and I'm eternally grateful. If only I'd known I'd be treated to dinner, I'd have had an extra for Bill and Ashley as well. Other than the intense pain radiating through my groin from all of the walking, it was a delightful night of slightly overwarm sleep. After deciding I didn't want to wait 40 minutes for a bus, I partook of Uber one last time to maximize my PAX time. When the tournament was over, the screen displayed the Overwatch match being commentated by Star. I recently started playing Street Fighter, and I love watching you guys,” but perhaps a bit more flowery.
Panicking, they leave the mart unattended to avoid being fired, only to let Fanboy and Chum Chum take over the counter and drive the Secret Shopper crazy with their enthusiasm. Fanboy and Chum Chum come in and as they see the wet floor, they skate on it, as it's Wet Floor Wednesday to them!
Thankfully, I'd done too much research months before, and I knew immediately to buy a 7-day pass.
I started at the Street Fighter V Arena where Ricki Ortiz, Mike Ross, Marn, Gootecks, K-Brad, Nickledu, and other big fighting game community stars were hanging out and playing the fight games on a big screen. I ran out of the room because the Enforcers were trying to get us out, and with good cause! There was no fan to keep the air moving in the room, so it felt positively tropical when I was already overheated from uncharacteristic exertion. Despite my sneaky intentions to hide behind the store and use an available outlet, the plug was too oddly shaped to fit, so I made my way down the street looking for bus stops and charging outlets. I would play a couple games and give myself enough time to find a seat next to the stage where I could absorb the aura of the near-sitting legends.


I had the privilege of moderating Jerma's chat (and now Star's), so we shared some familiarity.
I quickly parted ways with Jerma (after a promise of a lunch get-together) to give him a chance to properly interact with his other fans and not be obligated to myself. They're also the current developers of Killer Instinct, a very nice game that I don't have the means to play at the moment. Of course, he looked very busy, and I was content to simply look at him up close while another Iron Galaxy employee showed me the combo system in Killer Instinct.
I'd gladly give as I could, but I'm wary of reaching into my pockets in an unknown city, so I soldier forward.
Imagine a room of people in nice, black clothing, clean-shaven faces and immaculate skin sitting within slapping distance of a big chunky guy with a fuzzy beard, fluffy head, gang-like tattoo, and a vibrant Hawaiian blouse. He gave me a bow and a voice as though I were as important as an old money billionaire on holiday with his mistress. We chatted for a long time, and once again I felt extremely special, but it didn't end there.
Even if I was worried that I would be interrupting, it would be a very quick interaction, and went exactly as planned.
Both Ricki and Mike gave big beautiful smiles, gratitude and friendly handshakes, which made my heart flutter. I went to Newbury Street, wondering why it was a place-of-interest as claimed by my browsing of the topic.
After a while, I decided to just return to the airport using the transit system I'd grown to love.
I never like to accept preferential treatment, but I allowed myself this one bit of selfishness, and I'm glad Patrick did, too. My personal favorite was When Doves Cry, because I friggin love Romeo+Juliet with Leo and Claire Danes. The actual area was so small, you couldn't help but be close to them all the time, and it was great, except for one thing. With the handoff, he gave me a big thanks, and I just smiled and gave a thumbs-up, not wishing to interfere with his official business.
I was worried to just lay it down somewhere, so then I kinda scooted over to Dan Ryckert and had an extremely similar conversation. It ain't my first time at the McDonald's rodeo, so I know it ain't all McD's dropping bad burgs on the people. I occasionally checked my perpetually dying phone for the general direction of the train station, and after missing multiple buses and finding no outlets, I ended up walking the main street two miles to the station on already-achy feet. It's no surprise that I was seated closest to the door in case they needed to get me out quickly.
Many interesting surprises, and the meal ended by watching Patrick enjoy his birthday sundae.
I carefully cleaned up the mess and placed the glass gingerly atop the trash, making no effort to hide it. I won't bore you with superfluous details, but we discussed everything from video games to anime, and the food was terrific. Lenny then reads the following heading: "Two Frosty Mart employees were fired last week when a secret shopper caught them violating several Frosty Mart regulations".
They do their best to impress him-they give him coffee, but it backfires when they turn it up too high and use a goat for the milk. Of course, I wasn't sure of the food policy outside the actual terminal gate area, so here was a big hairy guy shoulder deep in his backpack, attempting to conceal his messy consumption of a mysterious food. It was this moment that I realized that I was content with simply seeing the people I loved, with no need for photographs. I don't mind being crushed, because I find victory in taking even a single round from powerful players.
He insisted on sharing, but I was far too full from other delicious food, and was more than happy to refuse. Despite my willingness to be open about the transgression, I didn't bother telling the host. I felt far more out-of-place in front of these pricey clothing stores than I did in the upscale steak restaurant. Irritated, the Secret Shopper demands a Frosty Freezy Freeze, and the boys make one for him-with the ultimate freeze. It would have involved a phone call, and I wouldn't have wanted someone bothering me about a half-dollar water vessel.
But the power goes out and while playing at Oz Comix, Lenny and Boog's hat signals light up for the power surge warning, and they leave.
As they see the boys out, Lenny gives himself and Boog mops to clear up the ice, but Boog goes on break. Back at the Frosty Mart, the boys finish making the Frosty Freezy Freeze for the Secret Shopper. He drinks it, and freezes, but the drink hits the floor and starts freezing the entire mart in pink ice.



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