It may be that the problem lies with your confidence—in your belief in your ability to bring about successful outcomes when you experience challenges.
It didn’t seem to matter how many times I succeeded, doubting myself was just one slip up away. I had to pay close attention on a minute-by-minute basis to the choices I was making and my self-talk.
Changing our attitude toward ourselves is the key to building confidence that is not dependent on external signs of success. Imagine that you could go through life trusting in your capability, in your ability to meet the challenges in a way that could bring about a successful outcome. Instead of trying to control the world and avoid failure, you could take risks and stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone. Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, believes that changing from self-criticism to self-compassion is the key to resilience in the face of challenge.
People who respond to themselves with compassion are far less likely to be depressed or anxious, and they have greater confidence in their ability to succeed. This may seem a bit silly at first, depending on how deeply entrenched your critical and judgemental response is. Sometimes when you are stuck in a judgemental pattern, it can be very hard to make changes in the moment. About Alison BreenAlison Breen is a psychologist, consultant and coach who helps people live more conscious, happy and healthy lives. I’m so so thankful for the idea of this blog and all who share their experiences and advise. DisclaimerThis site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
Lack of self confidence often stems from low self esteem and can have a detrimental effect on your happiness and success.
If you use these 5 steps to increase your self confidence and self esteem, you will gradually start to notice times when you are less nervous, less anxious and better able to cope in situations where you used to be uneasy or scared. You’re right- the list does need some specifics in some cases but I also think that there are some universal traits we have that do affect every aspect of our lives. Those tips totally make sense and I would add learn to love yourself for as you are for who you are and you solve half the problem with confidence. Current DiscussionsAbbie: Just stumbled onto your post this morning, and wanted to say thank you!
We can feel good and confident when things are going well, but we struggle to keep motivated when things are hard.
We overwork, over-prepare, needing to keep ahead of the possibility of failure that we imagine is just around the corner. When we experience success, we don’t fully allow ourselves to experience the joy of accomplishment. An unshakable confidence that allows us to be resilient in the face of adversity and to trust ourselves enough to keep taking the next step, even when circumstances look dismal. When you made mistakes (which you inevitably will as part of the growth and learning process) you would pick yourself up quickly, acknowledge yourself for your effort, and make any changes that we needed, based on your new learning.
What I found worked in these times was to have someone else hold that voice for me, so I would spend time with someone who embodied kindness, compassion, and self-acceptance. She is also the founder of Becoming Superfluid, a resource to help people overcome the barriers that hold them back.


Sometimes we get so busy that we neglect ourselves, but when you treat yourself well you’re in a better position to treat others well too.
The difference being due to self-harshness and low confidence I tend to believe that I am not good at the particular task and I give up or blame myself rather than starting it again. I think something else that helped me was to only read and watch stuff that educated me, enlightened me or fed my spirit. So often the things we feed ourselves only heighten those critical, fearful and judgmental thoughts. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. It is feeling self-assured and capable, being self-reliant and feeling in control of the situation.
Persevere and you will gain confidence in all areas of your life and feel good about yourself as well. I am a very critical person (to myself and others) so being kind is diffcult; and this past several months I have not been looking well after myself (have not been running or resting). Being kind to yourself is important especially when you go out of your comfort zone to accomplish goals.
I remember doing an activity in class years ago where we all made a list of something nice about each person in the class. It is amazing how when we become adults we forget about these simple yet so important things like being kind to each other and ourselves. I find that when I skip my vitamins and don’t have a meal with protein in it I feel down and blue. Your whole system including your emotional system function better when you take care of yourself physically.
I think it’s because those are positive actions and lead to positive results which makes us feel good. We both need to pay ourselves on the back a little more because we all do great things on a daily basis.
I love the point about looking after yourself, a lot of people neglect themselves in order to please others.
While sacrifice is good and worthwhile, we have to make sure we don’t give more than we have to give.
Please consult a professional before even considering using the information obtained from this blog. Recovering from the health difficulties that come with burnout required that I change the way I was relating to myself and challenge the basic assumptions that I was making about what I was capable of.
We deserve to be our “best self” to ourselves as much as others deserve it from us! Sometimes it is easier to be critical with ourselves than it is to be compassionate with ourselves. I sometimes can’t believe that such a simple (but incredibly difficult to implement) attitude change can make such a big difference. It makes such a difference to have people on the same path so you can support each other, expecially with noticing those undermining voices when they show themselves.
As I am trying to take my career to the next level, I am also confronting challenges on the way and I feel that Im pushing myself too much that I feel exhausted and burnt. I have struggled a lot with confidence in the past and still do, although I have come a long way.


It encompasses the ability to stand up for yourself and feeling that you are equal to other people.
Follow these 5 easy steps to gaining confidence in yourself to be able to tackle any situation. Mentally list 5 things you are grateful for before you get out of bed in the morning and do the same before you go to sleep at night. Eat a nutritional diet, limit processed foods which are just full of empty calories, and drink plenty of water every day.
This only means that making lists is great but these have to be made regularly and be specific.
As a not very popular kid, I was amazed at some of the nice things people had said about me. But when I remember to take my vitamins, esp vitamin D and eat some protein, things in my day just work out so much better.
You can try Subliminal mp3s audio Sessions, Brain wave Entrainment or self-help guides and than you must arrange your posture to get the most out of your confidence.
We need to allow ourselves to think about the bigger picture around us so our perspective can change.
Notify me of new posts by email.I appreciate your readership and really enjoy hearing your thoughts on different topics. Check over your list and see that you have many admirable qualities that you can be proud of. What I realized is that in order to increase your self esteem you need to give yourself a break.
Be grateful and proud that you are now doing something positive towards increasing your self confidence. Be active for 20 to 30 minutes on most days as exercise makes you feel good by releasing extra serotonin and giving you more energy. By changing to a non critical person, one can be positive about every aspect in their life. After reading this article, i finally understand that my confidence is dependent on how things go.
Confidence is linked to how you perceive yourself and can influence how others see you, making this is a really important area to work on.
Remember your good points and work on your weaknesses; doing something positive towards increasing your confidence gives you a real boost.
By focusing on what you have, you lessen the negative effect of feeling the lack of confidence. By making the most of yourself physically, you will feel more confident in those situations where you have felt uneasy in the past. Watch your negative self-talk; you know, that endless chatter that goes on in your mind, usually telling you why you can’t do what you want to do.



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