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admin 22.04.2014

Since my wife had gone on a week-long fast from our boy, she couldn’t wait to lavish him with love through hugs, kisses and the sharing of stories about what his week was like.
Having to ride in the middle seat of a Toyota packed with 4 other people for almost 10 hours didn’t make for a very joyous teen, which we found out when Mike arrived home. When our words injure someone, the injury must be addressed in order to facilitate healing of the relationship.
As a result of his mood, and my wife’s expectations of a joyous reunion, some very hurtful words were spoken in several exchanges between the two when Mike returned home. After taking the week to compose herself, she finally addressed the issue of Mike’s words with him. But even worse than inflicting the pain that he had caused, she told him that making no effort to right the wrong was worse than the initial pain.
I took the opportunity to illustrate for Mike how a person who had been shot or stabbed would need medical care in order to save their life and facilitate healing. In the same way, when our words injure someone, the injury must be addressed in order to facilitate healing of the relationship. I explained to Mike that as a young man and as a future husband and father, he will never be able to speak without hurting those around him to some degree in word, action or deed. If you are the cause of pain in someone else by the misuse of your words, I encourage you to go to the injured person and make things right.

If you’re the injured party as my wife was, you may be dealing with someone who is totally oblivious to the fact that their words hurt you. Old festering wounds caused by irresponsible words can only grow worse and hinder the growth of our relationships if left unchecked.
Attempting to apologize for wrongs by sending flowers, giving gifts, laughing it off, or “kissing up” to the injured person does not address the injury. No gunshot or stabbing victim would consider ignoring such a severe wound and going on about their lives without seeking help from a physician. I pointed out to him that some people attempt to apologize for wrongs by sending flowers, giving gifts, laughing it off, or “kissing up” to the injured person. Unfortunately, there are people walking around right now who look fine on the outside, but they are bleeding internally from wounds inflicted by their loved ones. But unlike a physical injury that can be treated by any qualified physician, the emotional pain that his words may cause those around him can only be treated by him. If you caused the pain, you have a responsibility to make the first move to renew your relationship and help the injured party begin the healing process. Our hurtful words cannot be withdrawn, but if we take the time to go back and address the injuries we may have caused in the lives of others, there is no wound so severe that healing cannot begin to take place. And, I especially like that you pointed out that the person doing the injuring may not even realize it.

As you clearly stated when we are injured physically we seek medical attention so it is important that when we are injured spiritually that healing takes place. She misses them beyond words and this trip was no different than the others in that regard. Some carry their wounds to the grave and never have to opportunity to heal their relationships.
Sometimes you try to makes amends but the offended person is not always ready to accept or forgive.
And, our friendship is stronger now that I've learned to approach him right away (and calmly) when he says something that hurts me.
But, we lost a couple weeks of me fuming, and him being clueless – something that could have been easily avoided had I talked to him sooner (and not let me own anger get the best of me, and hurt him back in the process).

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