To advise parents of the best way to help raise kids who will be responsible and safe users of technology and the online world, one can only hope to do so be talking, interacting and learning from the kids themselves. Here is a snapshot of one of the interviews which seems to be fairly typical of many of the responses. Jack: I mainly use Facebook private messaging, youtube for watching videos and sometimes Instagram to check in what people are doing. Jack: Oh just the usual, putting random stupid photos up that get you in to trouble or are just embarrassing. Me: So if someone were to tell you you couldn’t use Kik because of the age restrictions, what would be your response? Me: So when teachers or someone comes to your school to talk to you about cyber safety, do you take anything they say on board? Me: So what advice would you have for someone like myself who is trying to help parents and kids remain safe online? Jack: Just understand that kids will probably do the opposite of what you say if you just keep nagging stuff.
Whilst this is just one of the responses, it gave me plenty of information, but also the knowledge that we need to keep doing what I believe is the best way to help our kids make those good choices.
I’m Martine, and I’m passionate about helping parents face the challenges of the modern world. 13 Responses to An Interview with a teenager: what do they really think about online safety?
Miss Almost-17 and Mr 19 both use FB private messaging for conversations with their friends. My parents have no idea what my brother gets up to on the internet an that really worries me.
I want you to experience more joy and less stress as you incorporate the digital world into your daily lives. Although in many cultures the hymen is seen as a sign of female virginity, it is important to remember that the hymen is an extremely unreliable marker of virginity, as the hymen can break through a wide range of noncoital or nonsexual physical activities. As mentioned, having sexual intercourse is not the only way that a female can break her hymen.
Some believe that differences in the appearance of a woman’s hymen should prompt the evaluation of sexual intercourse or sexual abuse. If you are curious about what your hymen looks like, you can use a flashlight and a mirror to see inside your vaginal canal. The site is maintained by students from the University of California, Santa Barbara who have studied advanced topics in human sexuality.
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Terms and conditions, features, support, pricing, and service options subject to change without notice. Recently I started a series of interviews and surveys to try and gauge an accurate account of not only what the kids are doing online, but more importantly, their attitudes to what parents, teachers and cyber safety experts are trying to teach them.
This particular boy is nearly 15 years old, a good student and no behavioural issues beyond the norm! I have known lots of kids who put something online and then they get caned with their comments. I got involved in a fight on Facebook once with this other guy and it was just annoying really. I mean the schools try and tell you what you can’t have but you just put the apps back on when you leave. I guess you have to know that they will be using all sorts of apps and will always find a way around stuff. And the nagging part, yep, I can see why that wouldn’t work, must be a hard thing not to do.
It gels with my understanding with teenagers and their experiences: Empathise and avoid preaching as they switch off, but keep on top of your game.
With a background in education and a Masters in Counselling, I am able to use my extensive professional experience in conjunction with the personal experiences of raising 5 children, to give a realistic approach to parenting today.
The evolutionary purpose of the hymen is unknown, but one theory says that the hymen is there “to protect the vaginal opening and the areas immediately surrounding the introitus during a female's early developing years.”1 An intact hymen typically has a small opening (or openings) that allow for the passage of menstrual blood and other fluids. Some hymenal tissue may remain after a female has had intercourse; even after childbirth, there may be a few remnants left of the hymen. Furthermore, many societies associate a premarital girl’s intact hymen in a premarital girl represents family honor and dignity.
Ignorance about the structure of the hymen and why it may not be intact can have severe consequences for women.
Therefore, the obsession that many cultures have with checking a woman’s hymen before marriage to make sure she is a virgin is an unreliable tradition, as the hymen is not a good indicator of virginity.
This is not the case because even when trained physicians are “evaluating” the virginity of a woman, the integrity of the hymen can be very difficult to assess.
Position the mirror in between your legs so you can see your vagina, and slowly spread the “lips” of the vulva (known as the labia minora and labia majora). Then they feel all bad and stay off for a while or fight back and end up in arguments online.
Like we were supposed to get rid of all our games on our ipads and the teachers were making us do it in class.
I would say you need to help them not be stupid by knowing the kinds of stuff they are doing and talking to them about it rather than just telling them you cant do this, you cant do that.


My boy is a preschooler, I can only imagine what technology will be like when he’s a teenager. Both Boatman and I said straight away the danger of that, and she took it on board, but before that, it was just a cool idea. The hymen oftentimes, though not always, rips or tears the first time a female engages in penetrative intercourse, which may cause some temporary bleeding and slight discomfort.
The hymen has been and continues to be a source of extreme concern in many cultures, and even now, many myths regarding the presence of the hymen exist due to ancient cultural traditions and a lack of scientific knowledge.
Even if a female has not had penile-vaginal intercourse, she should still be able to menstruate and insert a tampon through an opening in the hymen. The intact hymen supposedly symbolizes a female’s chastity and morality and indicates that she will stay faithful to the family, culture, or religion for years to come.
You could very well be a virgin and have no hymen, or you could have had multiple sex partners and still have an intact hymen. Many studies have shown that the hymen’s diameter should not be used to verify sexual abuse as the hymen’s diameter changes due to nonsexual physical activities. If you cannot see into your vaginal canal, use a flashlight to illuminate the area (although this can be tricky while trying to hold the mirror and your labium apart).
Kids my age dont really like being told what we can and cant do so it makes it seem more fun if you say we cant use it. We do kind of listen when you say some stuff but we probably learn more by just being online ourselves and seeing what other people are doing. In many parts of the world, women who are found with a ruptured hymen face severe and sometimes fatal consequences. We still know theres lots of bad stuff that can happen but sometimes you have to learn that by yourself. Remain on top of what is going on in their world and be sure to have open communication and a connection that remains throughout adolescence.
For example, by some Arab customs, a woman who is found to not be a virgin on her wedding night brings great shame to her family. Some of these women are even subjected to having a physician directly observe the hymen and report to the family. Many other families simply wait to see if the bride will bleed when she first engages in sexual intercourse.
If a female does not bleed on her wedding night, or she is reported as no longer having an intact hymen before her wedding night, she may be beaten or killed by her close family members, usually by her brothers and uncles, and at times by her own father or husband.



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