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When you and your teen don’t see eye to eye or when you really want to persuade him or her to see your point of view, try using a T chart.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of not caring about what your teen wants when you just want to make it simple and tell him or her the way it’s going to be and that’s that.
Ironically, when you care about what your teen wants, you’ll end up getting more of what you want in the end. Fill in the wins for each of you and then talk to your teen and see if you are right about what would have been a win for him or her.



You’re not ignoring, you’re absorbing what your teen has said and giving him or her the opportunity to fully express feelings without being cut off. Notice that listening involves more than just your ears; it also requires your eyes and heart.
Whether you believe me or not, you can usually find a third option—a new and better way. When you “lay down the law” without regard to how your child feels or what he thinks, you are opening yourself up for war on the home front.





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