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Yes, I know that women are masters of multi-tasking, but when your husband is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding and remembering his words. Sure, he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you (both) miserable. Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Although the rest of the family is not overly-fond of spaghetti, my husband loves it, so I try to make it at least two or three times a month as a way to honor him.
Do not dismiss his opinions lightly, especially when you’ve asked for his counsel in the first place. Voiced compliments and heartfelt praise are always welcome, but you should also make it your habit to just look at your husband in a respectful, appreciative way. This entry was posted on August 6, 2012, in Lists, Marriage and tagged communication, husband, jennifer flanders, marriage, newlywed, respect, respect your husband, ways to show respect.
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Whether you like to chat on the phone or shake hands in a funky way, there are hundreds of thousands of ways to communicate what you're feeling.
Does it surprise you when I tell you that my Amish friends are a little harder than my non-Amish friends to get ahold of?
Not terribly so, but if I want to contact someone in Lancaster County for instance, it usually involves leaving a message on the answering machine on the phones that each of them have at their respective homes.
Well, not in the homes, exactly—either tucked away somewhere in the barn, or in a phone shanty, those little wooden booths you see set off to the side of the property. To state the obvious, communication is important to the Amish—be it with family, friends and fellow church members, business associates or customers.
Despite this, Amish try to stave off the creep of technology, hence those who have phones (and not all Amish have them) keeping them in a separate building, and for the most part out of the home.



While the phone is common, Amish rely on other methods of communication which have largely fallen by the wayside, or are in the process of doing so, in mainstream culture. A phone shanty may be used by multiple households, with the billing being sorted out at the end of the month. It also recalls the early-1900s-era phone lines, which were termed “party lines” and were split among a half-dozen or more households. A circle letter group may consist of teachers or surgery patients or adoptive parents or people born in the same month, or really any common theme linking the writers.
It’s anything but instant, but a nice way to exchange information and form bonds with people whom you may never meet in person (although Amish do have “reunions”—get-togethers where they actually do meet these sometimes far-flung acquaintances in person). 3.) Correspondence Papers – You may have heard of these papers, popular among the Amish – The Sugarcreek Budget, Die Botschaft, and The Diary being three of the best-known. A scribe (usually female) will regularly write in with reports on goings-on in the church and community.
In this way you can keep up with the latest in communities which interest you—those you may have visited, or where your children or other relatives or friends live.
The correspondence paper combines one old-fashioned thing—letter-writing, again—and one thing that feels like it’s getting to be that way—the dead-tree newspaper. Like the other forms of communication on this list, it just requires a little of that seemingly scarce virtue—patience. You can say you respect your husband, but he’ll have a hard time believing that unless your behavior backs it up.
Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home, for good measure.
Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. Guard his reputation and do not let minor disagreements at home cause you to speak ill of him in public.


Then you will love my book, 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband — nearly 200 pages filled with Biblical wisdom and sensible suggestions for putting these principles into practice. While the friends I mentioned above each have their own line, in many communities, phone lines are shared. And the “circle letter”, linking those with common interests or background, is one way they leverage that letter-writing work to be appreciated by multiple readers. Each recipient writes their letter and attaches it to the batch (removing their previously-written letter to keep the size manageable).
You may get reports on crops, injuries, who visited at church the previous Sunday, or whatever else might have happened between letters. His first book, Success Made Simple: An Inside Look at Why Amish Businesses Thrive was based on 60 interviews Erik conducted with Amish business owners, as well as his own experiences living and working in Amish communities from Pennsylvania to Iowa. Our goal is to connect writers and readers, to educate, entertain, and inspire those who want to know more about the Plain life. Even if you think you already know what your husband is going to say, allowing him to say it without cutting him off mid-sentence shows both respect and common courtesy. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well. Live in such a way that it will be obvious to others why your husband married you in the first place.
He has contributed to Amish-themed articles featured in Entrepreneur Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and other print media.
He also has served as a consultant for numerous authors of Amish fiction and non-fiction and writes the Amish America blog.
It would be interesting for those of us on Facebook or who email to others if we could get into circle letters.



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