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10.12.2014
Let me preface this by saying that I’m very lucky to have such an understanding fiance. Some of the most common questions I was asked as a newlywed were, "Does it feel any different to be married?" "Have you got used to calling him 'husband' yet?" and, of course, "So are you taking his last name?" When I answered in the negative (for all three questions, actually), the latter query was followed up with further questions. I decided at the ripe old age of 15, almost 10 years before I met the man who would become my husband, that I would not change my name for marriage.
As I grew older, learning more about gender politics and the inequalities that women still face in society cemented that teenage decision to keep my name. To put it bluntly -- as I sometimes do when people really grill me about my decision -- it's not 1950 and I'm not cattle that needs to be branded with my owner's name. If you are debating whether to change your surname for marriage, don't listen to the people who question your decision -- don't even listen to this article -- but take time to ponder for yourself your thoughts on name and identity, and what's important to you.
I would take my last name as my middle name (since I don’t have a middle name to begin with) and take his last name. However, I hear that it’s a huge pain to have a hyphenated name and that computers mess it up all the time.
So you feel all the women who don’t take their husband’s names, do not love them? The expectation that women should change their last name for marriage, swapping their own identity for their husband's, is -- inarguably -- sexist.
I do think it's unequal that children automatically take their father's name, but other approaches are not yet as widely accepted as women keeping their surnames -- though I think this is will change with time.
Whether or not I have the same last name as my child won't stop me loving them or feeling attached to them. However, that's the name I had for the first 29 years of my life before my wedding, and that's who I see myself as.
A few decades ago it was common to assume any married woman you met was a housewife; that's not a good reason for women to stay out of the workplace.
I love my husband dearly, and hope we are together until we die in each other's arms at the exact same moment at age 100, but it would be naive not to realize that something like a third of western marriages end in divorce. If you, however, are not as fond of your name or do not see it as part of your identity -- perhaps because it's from a parent you don't have a good relationship with, the name is something you got teased for, or you just feel it's not particularly you -- then I think marriage is a great opportunity to take a new name. If you, too, do think "it's just nice", ask yourself what you find nice about it before committing to a decision.


She wanted to know whether I’d be keeping my maiden name or taking his, or hyphenating.
I generally like this option, but I fear that no one would actually call me by my middle name. It’s time to change your last name, there are so many important documents with your name on it that will need altering. And I say "inarguably" because no one could claim there is an expectation of the same name-change in men.
Also, with this logic, would I no longer feel like I'm part of my parents' family if I take a different surname from theirs? But I believe this should be the case for men as well, and that neither gender should feel obligated to switch names. It’s recognizably Romanian (at least to other Romanians) and I love that I get to carry a bit of my culture with me in my name.
I would insist on it (a la Jennifer Love Hewitt), but I think it would bug me if people left it out.
Make sure you have your Marriage Certificate before trying to make any leeway with any of the steps below. Are there no boys in your family to carry on the name?" And then, in a conspiratorial whisper, "Do you not like your husband's last name? Several times I've introduced myself to someone on email and received a message back signed off with "P.S. In these days of blended families, the idea that everyone in a family would have the same last name is a touch old-fashioned. Reflective Groom' on meeting me for the first time -- just as people familiar with me greet him as. But the things that make weddings nice are that they bring together family and friends, celebrate your love, and are an excuse for an awesome party. I remember a class in college about gender and the media, where a male student asked in our discussion group, "Would you change your name for marriage?" "No. I booked everything in my maiden name, and will change it when we return from the honeymoon.
One really important factor before changing your identification (drivers license or passport) is to make sure you wait until after your honeymoon or preplanned trips before changing these docs.


If changing her name to his is necessary to show that he is “important” to her, then why is the reverse not true? If you change it before your trip, the name on the official travel document and your identification won’t match.
And if it is so nice to have the same last name as your spouse, perhaps it shouldn't only be women stepping up to make the change. Why should Andree’s fiance expect her to change her name to his without ever considering changing his name to hers? How is her refusing to change her name a sign that she is uncaring while his not even considering changing his name means nothing of the sort?Ultimately, it should be each person’s decision what to do. Out of Concern for "Public Health"Porn Website Shuts Out North Carolina to Protest Anti-LGBT LawFirst Legally Sanctioned Pastafarian Wedding Takes Place in New ZealandBrave Student Who Fought Back Against Pro-Abstinence Speaker in High School is Now a Truman Scholar « Who is Whining About Contraception Now?
Yet another reason I rejected the QF movement out of hand the second my parents tried to lay it on me.
Based upon that, I have decided that I own my last name even though it has paternal origins, and that the patriarchial implications of paternity and inheritance can end with my spouse and me.
He never pressured me to take his, and even considered taking mine, but it turned out to be a much bigger deal for men to do than women, so we kept what we had. Hisfirstname Hislastname” and several others given that we are both feminists and reject patriarchal traditions like these.
If you’re going into a profession that requires a license, strongly consider keeping your maiden name because these days a career can last longer than a marriage. Perhaps last name changing should be centered around a more practical and rational method: The last name with the fewest family members to keep it going should be taken.
He won fair and square, but I do regret that we didn’t take the opportunity to make a feminist statement.



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