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02.07.2014
As with saving your top tier, changing your last name is a wedding tradition thats almost always expected but not always practiced. If you are on the fence about whether to change your last name, take some time to think about your name, your identity, your family, and what’s important to you. Changing your last name after getting married can be daunting, and even a newlywed’s happy glow is no match against long lines at the DMV. If you’ve got a number of name change notifications to send out, the service could be a lifesaver, helping to remind you about items you may have overlooked, like your voter registration, and making the forms available in a single location. About 90% of brides today give up their maiden names after getting married, whether out of respect for tradition, a desire for cohesiveness or even to avoid having to explain family relationships, especially after children enter the picture. But there’s no doubt brides are opting to use their maiden names – as more than just a password hint for online accounts – these days.
But bureaucratic and similarly pragmatic reasons can also sway women in the other direction.
If such considerations seem thoroughly modern, they actually date back to the 1850s in America. Stone didn’t insist on using her maiden name immediately upon tying the knot, however, referring to herself as “Lucy Stone Blackwell” in her wedding announcements.
Unlike a lot of women, the choice to change my name when I got married was a pretty easy one.
Back in 2010, I was just your average happy, healthy, slightly promiscuous twenty-four-year-old girl with a blog about health, happiness, and, uh, romantic adventures. Notice I said “if.” Because at this point in my life, despite the fact that I was ready to find a wonderful, amazing, big relationship, it still seemed like it was a ways off. Despite the fact that I was totally cool with being single, I still knew—and had known for a long time—that if I ever did get married, the last name had to go. The same friend who encouraged me to make my name my URL also decided to introduce me to her friend Eric, who lived in Houston. So after that first IM, changing my URL became an issue way sooner than I expected thanks to two little things that were completely out of my control: love and Google. While this might not seem like a big deal to some, my identity is deeply and strongly tied to the internet.
Eventually I did buy the new URL and gave the blog what felt like an appropriate title: The House Always Wins. Liz Coopersmith of Silver Charm Events is perhaps best known around these parts as the creator of the Olive Garden Rule, a super smart catering maxim that reframes how to think about food and drink prices per head. Anyway, my point is to say that yes, there probably was a better technical solution to this problem and I’m sure other people can speak to the technical side of this more eloquently than I can. SEO is my job, and yes – you can 301 redirect your old domain and the URLs of each post, and that will transfer all of the credibility of your old domain+name to the new domain+name. I kept my first gmail (firstmlast) account and use it for business and registration stuff now.
The part that was harder to wrap my head around is changing my business name to a name that reflects that it’s a team effort by the both of us. I did something like that too – I write for a living and have published under my maiden name for 9 years before our marriage. I always knew I wanted to change my name so just over a year ago, when we were starting our tiny publishing company, we decided to use my name as the company name. I kept thinking I had my name all cleared everywhere till I’d discover yet another independent database at the university that I had to change my name at.
I too was going to jump in with the URL redirect suggestion, but others have helpfully beaten me to it. This is a great way to approach this issue and I think it’s a problem that many more women have now in the age of Facebook, Gmail usernames and blogs. I plan on doing the same with keeping my maiden name as a middle name – partly because I identify so strongly with my last name and our family history that comes along with it, and partly because as a painter I think that changing it would be detrimental to getting my work out there keeping some continuity. At the same time it’s very important to my fiance that I share his name, simply because it is his and he wants to share it with me.
In defense of teachers, who seem to be used as a tool to scare women into making a particular name choice, as a teacher, I never assume that my kids’ parents will have the same last name as a student.
I got married in July, but as I was at the tail end of my PhD, didn’t want to change my name until I finished, not sure why, but for some reason it felt right to have my maiden name on the actual diploma since that is how I started it. I have intentions of trying to change it on Friday as I am off and as a kind of early Valentine’s Day gift of here I finally did it!
I actually wish I had checked the box on the marriage license to change my name, so that the option to change my name with no court dates and newspaper ads was still out there, but when we applied for the license, we had concluded, at my husband’s request, I would never change my name. I haven’t changed my name back on facebook, but I never introduce myself with my married name (right now). This seems to be a hot topic at the moment and I figured I would put in a couple thoughts while the ball was already quickly rolling through our generation. A Harvard study found that women with college degrees were 2 – 4 times more likely to retain their last name as compared with women without college degrees.
Whatever the reason is, its a personal choice thats yours to make and should make you happy. The site has researched all of the legal requirements in each state to provide users the most up to date forms and filing instructions all in one place.


If you’d rather not enter certain information, you can always hand write it on the forms instead. As more women postpone marriage until after their early 20s, many feel reluctant to give up the identities, both personal and professional, that their names represent. Hyphenating has become a popular alternative, though many parents are reluctant to then saddle their children with clunky last names that bust out of application form boxes.
No word in the history books, though, about whether she chose a monogram or floral motif to adorn her paper stock. After I retired my college sorority girl blog, I started a new one about girls gone healthy (…and maybe gone wild). At the time that I was changing my URL, I had just finished turning my college blog into a book and I had an agent who was shopping a proposal around to publishers. My book didn’t sell (sad times, but I was over it) and while I had built a good name for myself professionally at this point, I refused to accept that my best years were behind me at the age of twenty-six. I’m fascinated by the way we refer to so many things about blogs and websites in house terms—home page, web address—but it makes total sense to me.
The new blog isn’t about my house, exactly, because, to me, a house can represent so much more than that. I didn’t think I had THAT common of a last name, although my first name is very common and I get emails meant for others all the time. More hassle than it was worth and I really, really didn’t want a super-long e-mail address involving my last name. I think we counted four independent university databases (all for the same university mind you) before we were finished. Well, there was one other women with my name, but she got married and changed hers (we were facebook friends for a while). I also use a pun on my last name as the title for my art blog and on my business cards, so I would not want to change those things.
Eventually if we have kids, I don’t want to navigate the whole “are you their parent? I know that for some people it’s important for them to have the same last name as their children (which is TOTALLY valid), but I always flinch a little when people cite how other people *might* react as a reason to change their name. I went from a common name to a very unique one, and my Google results are much much stronger because of it.
I was a Johnson before and now there are only a handful of people with my name, instead of thousands and thousands. My husband is lucky to have a very unique first name, but I don’t, and adding Johnson as a last name, to my already common first name was just too much common for me to handle. I’m also concerned about people being confused about why all my transcripts and everything are under my maiden name when I have a new name.
I know men attorneys who manage to be known by their middle names as first names, too, though they can be hard to search for. We had an embarrassing situation where the managing partner had searched too quickly and reported to the client that opposing counsel was not a licensed attorney, only to have me find opposing counsel entirely licensed when I searched just his first initial and last name. What happens if someone who knows me “socially” wants to look me up professionally online? I'm Cristi and if you haven't noticed yet I sort of LOVE baking, sugar crafting, and well just crafting in general!
It seems that around the world for as long as marriage has existed the bride is expected to replace her last name with the last name of her husband.
Why is it more likely or more socially accepted that a women with advanced education will keep her last name? More than 15 different items, from your passport to your driver’s license to even your insurance coverage, can be updated simultaneously with their $29.95 package. But among the many items on a bride’s checklist is one decision that has lifelong implications (besides picking the lucky guy): whether to change her last name.
Both bride and groom can keep their original names, but having to repeatedly explain “Yes, John Roberts is really my husband, even though I’m Emily Jones” can make a person crazy. While I loved it, I was starting to feel a bit stifled by the niche and wanted to break out a bit. I didn’t have a good relationship with him (he basically abandoned me when I was young and he died when I was thirteen). It’s our physical address, yes, but it’s also our jobs, families, friends, and online communities. She loves reading, doing yoga (she still refuses to call it “practicing”), hanging out with her dogs, and talking Eric’s ear off. I would only bother setting up redirects for the main domain and your top 10 most traffic posts from SEO referrals; it will likely be enough. My credit card still has my maiden name, though, so I just keep hoping no one asks to see my ID when I use my card.
I completely understand your dilemma; I do not know what I would have done, but I think you found a great solution! It may be a while until I get that real job, and in the meantime I can’t find a new gmail address that is fewer than 2000 characters long on account of the new last name being Italian and there being many people apparently with the same combination of names.
Until marriage disappointed me and I decided to ease into whatever aspects of marriage it’s possible to ease into.


I now completely understand why so many women the world over decide not to undergo all the steps entailed in changing their last name once married.
My guess… thousands of years of gender politics, inequalities, and repetitive tradition have played havoc on our perception of personal choice. I certainly wished that I had a strong tie to him or to his family to make my decision harder, but that’s not how my life worked out, and I had made peace with that. I also figured that having a new husband and a book deal in the near future was literally the best problem I could ever imagine having, so I didn’t dwell on it. That was something that represented me, something that I built, with no help from my father.
But it actually took me a few months to realize I could get a new email account to begin with. I feel like I’m stuck permanently in the middle of a transition period, which is always uncomfortable, until I can get everything to match. But my last name is so awesome and unique and I adore it, so I can’t just give it up. I still sort of plan on changing my name eventually, but would be curious if anyone else was somewhat ambivalent about the whole thing, waited for a year or two to change their name and whether they felt it was worth it, or more of a pain in the ass. But in November, the idea that anyone would ever know me by just my married name seemed impossible. It's not a hard task nor an anxiety ridden one but it is a bit tedious and annoying.One might decide to change their name for many reasons, but according to most polls the most popular reason is due to marriage. After going around and around with a good friend and fellow blogger, I finally decided to just make my full name my URL. But as a young feminist, I determined that if I was going to be stuck with a man’s name—either my father’s or my future husband’s—I’d go with the man who was making a conscious choice to be in my life. It’s awesome because I know that anything having to do with x, y or z probably is meant for her and I can forward it to her and let her deal with it. It’s a mouthful, but at least it keeps things consistent for work purposes and allows me to have the same last name as my hubby and future kids.
Plus I’m the last one with my last name in our family and it makes me sort of sad to think about our last name dying out completely.
APW has actually been really helpful in getting me through a lot of different options and conversations. Which sounds way narcissistic as I type it out, but as a writer, it’s important that people be able to find me and my work. As of right now, facebook is the only place I have changed my name, because it was easy and unofficial.
Everyone I knew knew I’d been married recently and might be taking my time changing listings. I’d forgiven my father for the way he self-destructed—he had a lot of demons—but I had no qualms about replacing his last name with the last name of a man who was making a conscious and public choice to love me forever. I considered writing a strongly worded letter to all the major search engines to petition them for a feminist loophole. There are at least 2 or 3 other Jessica Mylasts whose emails I get fairly frequently, though, and either no one has let them know or they haven’t bothered to get in touch with me. I think I’ve finally decided to just move my maiden name to a second middle name and take his last name legally as mine. So, I changed my name on facebook and with my personal email address and introduced myself in non-professional settings with my husband’s last name (when I remembered). G dearly, marriage wasn't entirely my reason for making the decision to change my last name.
There was the right amount of exclamation points (not too few, not too many) and he didn’t use “lol” as punctuation like the last guy I had dated.
In the meantime, I’d be working to promote a blog and a URL that was ultimately going to change.
I had built a community where I invited people to come in and stay awhile, and I felt safe and protected there. My new home—my real one and my online one—would be the place where I could grow, change, question everything, and come to terms with the fact that a house—and life—is unpredictable as fuck. But the fact remained: sometimes, as much as you love a place, there comes a point when you have to let go and move on.
It was a modern problem no matter how I looked at it, and I just had no idea how to handle it.
And that really should be the most important thing here about changing your name, make sure it's a choice you'll love in the years to come because I'm pretty sure once you've done it once you're really not going to want to do it again.I thought that if I outline what I did in order to change my name that might potentially make things go that much smoother for you (if you're in Miami, FL I'll also tell you which branches to go to so you're not in line all day long).
If for some reason you lose or misplace your certified copy you can go to VitalChek to order a new one. Make sure that you've done steps 1-5 first and that you have all the correct documentation so that you don't have any whiplash or fees due to any errors in processing future payments or charges.7. These are just some of the items that you may have to change.  Other things to think about?




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