One thing that I have discovered as I have been dealing with the fire that destroyed my house a few weeks ago is that it is the search for answers that had seized me first.
That is when I stopped asking why to no one and instead started to delve within myself to find the answers. Over the last couple of months, I realized that I was solely relying on my own strength and not that untapped universal source of power inside of me. We have talked before about how when you follow your passion and your true purpose in life you find greater fulfillment and joy.
Like many of us do at one point or another, I was just going through the motions in life and not really living life.
Sometimes we need adversity to move us out of our comfort zone so that we seek that source of strength and confidence. Maya GraceMaya Grace is a motivational hypnotherapist, NLP-certified coach, and professional speaker. By David Hamilton Filed Under: Change - Growth, Mindset Self confidence is one of the biggest things most people want for prosperity and success.
So how do we generate that kind of confidence, that we see those “successful” people have?
I look back at my information technology career in New York City, and how I started knowing very little about technology. I worked my way up to the manager level because of my drive and work ethic from ground zero. This definitely helps for reducing resistance to taking action in starting a business, advancing our career.
We often mistake confidence for the feeling of shining valiance and courage, that we think should be in place before taking action. They just did it, and then later noticed they were confident, but it wasn’t a second thought either way, whether they actually felt confident. If so, try allowing them to be there instead of controlling them, this should free your energy up to act, instead of fighting with yourself.
You see the feeling of confidence and real self-confidence don’t have to be there together. And practicing doing this will make you pretty much unstoppable with everything but the most extreme fears. Awareness and mindfulness practice of allowing those fearful thoughts and emotions to be there, acknowledging them is one of the most powerful ways to have self-confidence in any situation. It’s building up a new relationship with fear, transforming it even to a fuel that can help propel you into action, is truly a wonderful thing. To create a story of how you want to show up in the world based on what matters most to you, and the kind of life you want to lead and the kind of person you want to be, deep down, every day.
This gives us a solid guidance system to making sure we focus on what’s really important to do, regardless of the fear that is there.

For years, and years, and years I tried to get rid of fears first, tried to get self-confidence first and searched for countless ways on how to improve self confidence. Don’t be a technique chaser, trying to find that magic technique of how to increase self confidence. It’s all part of the skillset of learning how to build the muscle of change, anyways. Read previous post:How To Control Your EmotionsEmotion is at the root of being human, whether we like it or not. March 16, 2012 by Rob Robson 3 Comments If I had to name the single most important psychological factor in swimming performance, it would have to be confidence. There is a strong link between goals and confidence, in particular process goals, which are the physical, technical and tactical ‘building blocks’ of your performance.
By setting goals in training that connect to your process goals for competition (which connect to your performance goals) you can build confidence by literally checking them off as achieved. You also build confidence by knowing that you are doing the right things – the things that will help you to perform – if you have process goals. If you know what the building blocks of your performance are, you can use mental rehearsal (visualization) to image yourself doing them well.
There are a few ways in which it is important to look back on good performances as a source of confidence. Everyone knows people that can chip away with their confidence, with their negative behaviour and comments. There are many other things that you can do to build confidence, but hopefully this will give you some ideas to work with. The moment you start comparing yourself to others is the moment you lose confidence in yourself. Continuing on our theme this month about dealing with adversity, adversity is also key to building confidence. I was unconsciously avoiding my own purpose and my life’s work by busying myself with a million different things that were only drawing me away from that source. Taking the time to examine myself and my life instead of wallowing in self pity because of my circumstances has allowed me to rejuvenate and renew my confidence in myself to push on and get through this.
Maybe you have been going through adversity and are feeling lost, confused, and wondering what to do next. You need to get to a quiet place and remember the meditation techniques that we talked about before to seek the answers inside of yourself. She is also the director of "Become Your Dream," a workshop she created after studying and practicing mystical teachings, techniques, and modalities of human development for more than 25 years.
Many people read that as a bit of a ‘chicken and egg’ problem, believing that success comes from winning races and doing PBs. Process goals are particularly important because they are the parts of your performance that you can control.

These should include not only technical aspects of your performance, but eating the right things, getting enough rest, and so on.
Keep track of the work you have done and the progress that you have made (improved training times, for example) and take time to look back and remind yourself of much you’ve done.
It is really important that you give yourself credit for the things that you have done well. Often it is irrational thoughts that drain your confidence, despite all of the good work that you’ve done. A national junior champion in his youth, he has taken up masters swimming and has several British titles and a British record to his name. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t.
It’s that feeling of confidence that can banish negativity and procrastination and get you going the right way. When you are struggling to find answers to your situation or you are grappling with figuring out a way out of your circumstances, it shakes your confidence and throws you off course. What I discovered after giving myself the space and time to clear my thoughts and to listen to my subconscious is that I was disconnected. It can happen without our even realizing it, losing focus, until we end up confused and feeling disconnected from the path that we were on. Perhaps you have lost that confidence that you had before this situation occurred and don’t know how to get it back. One of the biggest mistakes we tend to make is to only review bad performances and focus on the negatives.
That’s why it is important to actively remind yourself that you’re doing well and working on the right things. Rob has also performed lifetime best times at 40 years of age, and attributes much of his success in masters competition to the mental skills developed through his training as a sport psychologist.
Confidence through adversity is often something you gain looking back once you have already come through a difficult situation. If you wait until you need them most, you might have forgotten what it feels like to swim really well.
When something happens and you feel bad, try to separate the facts (what really happened; what would an objective observer describe?) from your interpretation.
It is normally your interpretation of reality, rather than reality itself, that causes the problem. Don’t beat yourself up for being irrational – we all do it – but recognise it and try to deal with the facts.

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