When people are already experiencing pre-performance jitters, found Alison Wood Brooks, a professor and researcher at Harvard Business School, it’s much easier to shift into a state of excitement than calm. Some of the greatest artists, athletes, novelists and thinkers of our time have relied upon their own quirky pre-performance rituals to help them get in the zone—and produce their best work. This entry was posted in Success, Uncategorized and tagged Confident women on October 21, 2014 by Nikki Woods. It may be that the problem lies with your confidence—in your belief in your ability to bring about successful outcomes when you experience challenges. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I succeeded, doubting myself was just one slip up away. I had to pay close attention on a minute-by-minute basis to the choices I was making and my self-talk.
Changing our attitude toward ourselves is the key to building confidence that is not dependent on external signs of success.
Imagine that you could go through life trusting in your capability, in your ability to meet the challenges in a way that could bring about a successful outcome. Instead of trying to control the world and avoid failure, you could take risks and stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone. Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, believes that changing from self-criticism to self-compassion is the key to resilience in the face of challenge. People who respond to themselves with compassion are far less likely to be depressed or anxious, and they have greater confidence in their ability to succeed. This may seem a bit silly at first, depending on how deeply entrenched your critical and judgemental response is.
Sometimes when you are stuck in a judgemental pattern, it can be very hard to make changes in the moment. About Alison BreenAlison Breen is a psychologist, consultant and coach who helps people live more conscious, happy and healthy lives. I’m so so thankful for the idea of this blog and all who share their experiences and advise. DisclaimerThis site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Join other people who receive exclusive weekly content and tips on how to build confidence, and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 12 Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Confidence! Enter your name and email below to get INSTANT ACCESS to my free guide, 12 MISTAKES THAT ARE DESTROYING YOUR CONFIDENCE! About UsAchieving Success Through Personal Growth – Get Tools, Tips and Strategies to Build Your Confidence And Live Your Dreams!

Brooks did a study with participants in several high-stress scenarios: karaoke singing, public speaking and math performance.
Serena Williams has said she’ll wear the same exact pair of socks when competing in tournaments.
We all know that flush of discomfort strikes most women (social norms, unconscious bias, etc.).
We can feel good and confident when things are going well, but we struggle to keep motivated when things are hard. We overwork, over-prepare, needing to keep ahead of the possibility of failure that we imagine is just around the corner. When we experience success, we don’t fully allow ourselves to experience the joy of accomplishment.
An unshakable confidence that allows us to be resilient in the face of adversity and to trust ourselves enough to keep taking the next step, even when circumstances look dismal. When you made mistakes (which you inevitably will as part of the growth and learning process) you would pick yourself up quickly, acknowledge yourself for your effort, and make any changes that we needed, based on your new learning. What I found worked in these times was to have someone else hold that voice for me, so I would spend time with someone who embodied kindness, compassion, and self-acceptance. She is also the founder of Becoming Superfluid, a resource to help people overcome the barriers that hold them back.
Sometimes we get so busy that we neglect ourselves, but when you treat yourself well you’re in a better position to treat others well too.
The difference being due to self-harshness and low confidence I tend to believe that I am not good at the particular task and I give up or blame myself rather than starting it again. I think something else that helped me was to only read and watch stuff that educated me, enlightened me or fed my spirit.
So often the things we feed ourselves only heighten those critical, fearful and judgmental thoughts. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
We put this graphic together so people can gain a better idea of what confidence is and how confident people act. He helped bring out the person I’ve always wanted to be, but never knew I could be." -Jeff W.
If you own the rights to any of the images and do not wish them to appear on the site please contact us, and they will be promptly removed! Beyonce has an hours-long pre-stage ritual that involves prayer, stretching and listening to her favorite music.

Recovering from the health difficulties that come with burnout required that I change the way I was relating to myself and challenge the basic assumptions that I was making about what I was capable of.
We deserve to be our “best self” to ourselves as much as others deserve it from us!
Sometimes it is easier to be critical with ourselves than it is to be compassionate with ourselves.
I sometimes can’t believe that such a simple (but incredibly difficult to implement) attitude change can make such a big difference. It makes such a difference to have people on the same path so you can support each other, expecially with noticing those undermining voices when they show themselves. As I am trying to take my career to the next level, I am also confronting challenges on the way and I feel that Im pushing myself too much that I feel exhausted and burnt. Brooks said that when her subjects were told to get excited, they actually felt more excited, more confident and were able to more naturally shift their focus on the positive opportunities in the upcoming task (unleashing their inner Celine Dion) versus the potential threats (completely bombing in front of all of their friends). And motivational speaker Tony Robbins says 10 minutes of high-energy movement and repetition of incantations helps him take the stage with the confidence he’s known for. In one the study’s examples, 47 percent of people lent a stranger in a busy train station their cell phone if the request began with an apology about the crummy rain. Smith, professor of psychology at Montana State University, asked a group of female college students to write scholarship application essays—the mother of all boasting.
After reading this article, i finally understand that my confidence is dependent on how things go.
Half the group was told they might feel some physical discomfort because of a (bogus) subliminal noise-generating box in the room.
The result: The students who were warned about the box wrote stronger essays, that awarded up to $1,000 more in scholarship money, than the other students.
They also enjoyed the experience of writing about their achievements more than their counterparts. Smith said that when women give themselves a way out of the discomfort of self-promoting—they not only do it more effectively—they dramatically improve their confidence and performance. The long-term solution, Smith says, is to get employers to create a more balanced environment: one that normalizes self-promotion for women.
You’ll be able to blame your racing heart and jangled nerves on those activities and perform at the top of your talent.

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