An example of this would be a student that is upset because they came in 10th in a race during gym. In order to overcome their sense of defeat, the student needs to develop their sense of accomplishment. There are many different things you can do with this list of character traits to help children identify what makes them great. Have the students highlight the words (or top 5, top 10, etc) that describe them and create a wordle with the words that were selected. Have the students create a web by using a character trait from the sheet and evidence of the trait. This entry was posted in Lesson Plans, Parenting, Positive Behavior Support, School Counseling, Self-Esteem. If, like me, you were a shy kid, you’ve probably spent many hours wondering how to develop self-confidence.
Shortly afterwards I wrote a post called Pull back the curtains and let your light shine in which I talked about the way in which so many people hide behind layers of self-consciousness, the result of years of negative programming. By far the most important thing, as I’ve alluded to already, is being comfortable in your own skin.
You could also call it “following your bliss”, trying to avoid situations and people that do not contribute directly to your happiness, focussing instead on those that do.
By focussing on what is important to you, what makes you happy, you create positive energy that naturally attracts more positive people, who will confirm and support who you are.
This positive energy can then be harnessed to take specific action to meet the challenge of how to develop self-confidence.
As I teach in my new course on “Conscious Learning”, having a goal like “I want to improve my English” is too vague – how can you measure it or know if you’ve achieved it? Are there any individuals or types of people that I particularly want to communicate more effectively and confidently with (your boss, attractive men or women, etc.)? What are some specific outcomes I would like to achieve (asking for a raise, going for that promotion, asking someone out on a date, etc)? So, for example, you might say “I will ask my boss for a raise.” Or “I will ask Christina out for dinner”.
Clearly, at the beginning of your journey towards greater self-confidence, these might seem intimidating, even frightening. Most of us have had some experience, probably as a child (when our parents didn’t give us a choice!), where we stepped outside out comfort zone and were rewarded with a sense of accomplishment. The fact is that these experiences of “failure” are usually the result of a lack of preparation. Most of our lack of self-confidence comes from letting others affect you negatively, as if they had their fingers on an invisible switch (especially those that seem to deliberately cause you pain and shame). Identify how to improve next time: by practising saying “aeropuerto” (the Spanish do not have diphthongs and separating vowels used to cause me huge difficulty) I was able to say it better next time. This means I do not waste time and energy on negative emotions which serve to limit self-confidence and have more of the same for positivity. We can achieve spectacular results if we can learn to manage our response to these situations and keep calm.
Instead of focussing on the past, focus on the future – make amends for offence caused, work on improving your performance next time, and so on. Understanding and managing emotions is something I’m very interested in, being a sensitive soul who always used to let everything affect me far too much. As I’ve said before, focussing on mistakes and failures is unproductive and only produces more of the same.
So you see, with a little love and KISSES, you too can learn how to develop self-confidence and as you do, you will see your life transform and become happier and calmer. Learn how to build healthy self-esteem and unbreakable confidence in your child with simple tips for everyday interactions.
What you say and how you say it matter. Learn how to talk to your children in a way that builds their self-esteem, tips to improve your communication with kids.
How your self-image and self-confidence can make you unstoppable, able to reach your potential and make your dreams come true. William Jennings Bryan picture quotes - The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and.. Judging ourselves by character traits that we think we ought to have and not the traits that we posses naturally sets us up for disappointment. Limited vocabulary and cultural stereo-types hinder their ability to find and understand their strengths and realize their full potential.
The student now thinks that no one will want to play tag with him at recess because he is not fast enough.
This particular student has played tag everyday at recess without any problems since the beginning of school.

For those of you that may not be familiar with a web, draw a circle in the middle of a sheet of paper and write the character trait inside. In this post I’d like to share with you my own journey and experience so you, too, can experience the transformation in quality of life you can achieve by following a few fundamental principles.
Because of my passion for helping people see the light and indeed the power they possess to achieve what they want, I felt it was time to share what caused that transformation and show you how to develop self-confidence yourself. It’s ok to want to improve physical fitness as this has many other benefits, but it’s vital that this is a positive goal, not a whip with which to punish yourself every day if you don’t succeed.
Learning to be comfortable being yourself, instead of trying to be what you think others want you to be, is essential.
So just think about this: all anyone can do is think and act according to their own principles and if you do this consciously, no-one can legitimately criticise you for doing what you feel is the right thing. Suddenly I started to notice that people were listening to what I had to say and agreeing with me. In my life, this meant I started attracting positive people and situations which were much more in tune with who I am and what I am passionate about. Most people fail because of a lack of preparation (thinking they can instantly go from over-indulgence in holiday time to cold turkey) and woolly thinking with no clear objectives. Similarly a goal like “I want to be more self-confident” needs clarifying and investing with detail. In answering them, again, be as specific as possible and use them to create goal statements which you can carry around with you to remind you. Remember that if you can achieve these specific goals, your overall level of confidence will shoot up. Whenever you are ticking along, when nothing threatening or too difficult comes your way, you know you are in your comfort zone. The trouble is, our Inner Critic (the subject of another article and in the book I’m working on) is a master at making us forget those times and remember the times when we tried to do something but felt foolish in the act, and punishes us ruthlessly, sometimes for years after the event. If you follow the principles in this article, you are preparing yourself emotionally and physically for the challenge, and while there are no guarantees you will get the result you want, what is certain is that you will learn and grow, so you are still better of for having tried. This is so true when learning how to develop self-confidence – being afraid, doing it anyway, falling down at first, but getting stronger with each fall. And before speaking on the phone or ringing an intercom, I still practice saying my name in Spanish with the roll of the tongue when I have to speak to people here who still know me as “Arturo” as they cannot pronounce my name in English. I am still on the journey but that journey has led to some breakthrough moments such as described here and I am much more balanced – still sensitive to others, but not crippled by anxiety and self-doubt. To quote another old adage: “if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got”.
Acceptance is the first step to change and if that’s where you are, recognise and start from the bottom and work up. I’d love to hear from you with your own stories or questions and I’ll answer them as best as I can. Find out how the media shapes your daughters image and contributes to low self-esteem-and how you may be accidentally poising your child with your own beliefs on beauty. Learn how to help your child navigate challenges while helping them develop healthy self-esteem with these simple steps.
In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. The student always makes new students in the school feel welcome and encourages other students during group work. Sometimes your true self is so buried you may not even realise or remember who that person is, so it’s very important to spend time getting to know you. Worse, when people do pay us a compliment, we dismiss it with a “yeah, right!” or “clearly you’re blind”, which if you think about it is repaying a compliment with an insult to that person’s own judgement. And I learnt that accepting and feeling happy about my physical appearance did not constitute conceit or vanity, just a healthy self-confidence – a natural magnet for other people.
With less and less negative influences (I can’t think of any in my life now) holding you back and more and more positive people surrounding you, your self-confidence can only grow.
At the same time, you will become more successful in other areas of your life as you will feel more fulfilled and energised. If you really want to grow your confidence, as with anything in life, you need to set specific goals and take specific actions that will lead to you achieving those goals. Make sure you set challenging but realistic goals (see below in step outside your comfort zone): just as when you start exercising you need to raise a sweat but do not expect to run a marathon. In my experience, and after reading and listening to many successful and confident people, the more you fear something the more you should do it – because the rewards are so much greater.
Equally, chances are you are not getting what you really want, just what you are used to and expect (including bad things). This does not mean suppressing them, quite the opposite, but being in control of them rather than letting them control you – or letting others control your emotions.

At most she might have a laugh with her friends in the evening, but she probably would not give it or me a second thought. The answer is always yes (for the factors within my control – I didn’t get out of the taxi in Barcelona because I couldn’t pronounce “airport” in Spanish!) So despite the awkward language or faux pas, the conversation was a success. You’ll soon find more and more things to feel good about and that will help develop confidence to do more. Think about the successful people you know – those who can consistently make their dreams come true. When you get to the end of the word continue drawing your line but curve it around so it circles the word.
I always thought this was because I was naturally shy and introverted so it was a genuine surprise when, late last year, an off-the-cuff comment about my not being “a natural extrovert” was greeted with equally genuine dismay.
And as hard as it may seem (I was bullied about my appearance at school, I know!) it is most definitely possible to feel good about how you look.
After all, in the same way you are responsible for your actions, so are they and they are also subject to the same internal and external pressures as you. If you’re going to learn how to develop self-confidence, start accepting compliments gracefully – and believing them! I started attracting people I never thought possible, which, of course, grew my confidence even more. In writing the goals statements, make sure you avoid saying things like “I would like to” or “I want to” as these give the sub-conscious mind an excuse to add the deadly three-letter word “but” afterwards.
Think about it: if it weren’t the case, if it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t worry about it, you’d just do it.
Things involving more effort, overcoming fear or committing to some concerted action, like learning a new skill, speaking in public (especially for the first time) or losing weight, changing habits, etc., require you to step outside this safe place and into the unknown.
I can tell you definitively, recalling all too well the person who was totally lacking in self-confidence to the calm and confident person I am today. That was a real breakthrough as it meant I could move on instantly and not dwell on an embarrassing situation. So expect more on this site on that subject, which will also include a scientific dimension as more is understood about the relationship between the brain and emotions.
Just as beginning to feel fitter and more energetic after a week’s exercise makes you feel good and want more, any success, no matter how small, will motivate you to tackle greater and greater challenges.
Ignore that voice or tell it to go away and be helpful instead of self-destructive – tell it to look for times which, however mundane, you have achieved something. A daily ritual of thinking hard about and celebrating every success gives you energy and motivation to do even better the next day.
Isn’t self-confidence and a winning self-image the one thing they practically all have in common? I suddenly realised that the comfort I now have in my own skin is inevitably visible in my outward demeanour. Instead write “I will” – this itself is a statement of confidence and will kick-start the process.
So that someone else could (if you chose to share your goals, very helpful if the person is truly supportive) check on that date and time that you have done it!
Occasionally I still hear a small voice of disbelief, but it is drowned out by all the voices reminding me of all I have accomplished and the situations in which I have demonstrated the confident me.
I have become more and more interested in neuroscience, partly because of “attacks” I used to have before I made a lifestyle change and moved to Spain (thought at one point to be epilepsy but ruled out then disappearing with the stress of my previous life). Especially if you’ve followed the rest of my principles of how to develop self-confidence and, for example, set specific objectives which you can work towards every day. How would you react if you knew the person were guaranteed to accept your answer, even appreciate your honesty?
Focus and direction generate momentum and it is a universal human trait that people respond better to positive stimuli and validation than negative methods.
They will help you talk to your children effectively, help your child develop a strong sense of self, instill more parenting confidence and help them build unshakable self-esteem. By giving you the clinically-proven strategies, tools, and techniques to develop mastery over your beliefs and attitudes that ultimately determine your self-image and degree of self-esteem. Once you allow yourself positive validation, you open the door to more and greater success.

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