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02.11.2015
I feel like the more I concentrate on myself (as in working on myself, my issues, etc.), the less happy I am.
Your question reminds of a time when an acquaintance told me that she finds bliss when someone witnesses how she is a screw-up.
And when you’re in denial—which is really a euphemism for lying to yourself—you impede your progress.
Unfortunately, sometimes we are so in love with what we want, we get stuck, unless somebody shines a light on our blind spot. And this gets to the heart of your question: When you’re working on yourself along with someone else, it’s much easier to avoid that less-than-happy feeling you’re having. Since we’re talking happiness, it bears mentioning here that we get the highest dopamine rush just before the mission is accomplished. Because the high is short-lived, some people opt instead for going for Mission Meaningfulness, which to me is just Happiness 2.0, and something I’m all about. Look around and you’ll find that those who live by this principle have a greater sense that their life is meaningful and infinite.


But be careful with this Happiness 2.0 mission and avoid focusing on those who don’t seek your help. Self Improvement Tip #1: Never ask someone else what things you need to change about yourself.
Novia (Novroz) and her turtles Kroten and Papoe, from the Underneath The Shell blog, invited Fraz over for a visit. When I asked her to say more, she talked about how she is more likely to pay attention, take the screw up seriously, and then work to “redeem herself” when someone witnesses it.
At the very least, having someone call you on your truth will give you the opportunity to fail differently. They say a man catches more fish when he fishes along side another than when he fishes alone. Basically this involves subscribing to the common theme of every mainstream belief system: focus on any life form 10 times more than yourself if you want to find meaning in life. I can’t emphasize enough that one needs to acknowledge boundaries and avoid rescuing where it isn’t wanted.


But the sooner you join it, the sooner you’ll get to living the amazing life that’s been there all along waiting for you. And it’s been proven that what makes people happy is having bonds with others—human connection—so when you partner with someone else, it makes you happy because steppin’ up your game is exhilarating! I’m a clinical psychologist with a passion for connecting people to what makes them come alive. When you’re living Happiness 2.0, it’s bigger than you, so procrastinating, bailing, and denial are not options.



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