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18.09.2014
As I sit here recounting an extraordinary salon I just hosted discussing the relationship between social intimacy & social media, and how it affects our lives, I struggle to find the words that capsulize what it feels like to finally meet 10 women I have not just connected with via new media, but have grown to genuinely like and care for. Along with our professional content, we have also shared with each other personal messages of hope, encouragement, support, laughter and even tears -- yet until this event had never met. Are these bonds that can, despite being made in a virtual world, forge deeper more meaningful connections? These select women -- my friends, my guests -- combined, have tens upon thousands of followers on social media. The key to relationship building in the online community is to collaborate not compete -- there is power in numbers.
Bringing forth your authentic self is necessary in order to build trust -- People want to know you in order to trust you.
The difference between online friends and in-person friends is the investment of showing up for each other. Having a clear positive message helps you stay connected to your values and reinforces integrity. In order to be authentic, positive and intimate on a daily basis you need to be passionate about what you are doing. What I can say is this: With each one of these women, I had come to know their likes, dislikes, opinions, humor, vulnerabilities, wisdom and spirit long before I ever laid eyes on them. From left to right: Lauren Lobley, Liza Utter, Heidi Rae Weinstein, Gaby Dalkin, Tori Springer, Elizabeth Lamont, Rachael Hutchings, Andrea Fellman and Michelle Rivera. Andrea Fellman of Savvy Sassy Moms -- With a philosophy of, 'You don't have to lose your style to motherhood,' her website is devoted to helping moms branch out of their worlds and connect with business, events, fashion and food.
Rachael Hutchings of La Fuji Mama -- a well traveled foodie who lived in Paris and Japan, supports and encourages families to expand their worlds and broaden their horizons through their taste buds. Gaby Dalkin of Whats Gaby Cooking -- a private chef for LA's A-list celebrities whose mission is to motivate the twenty-something generation to start connecting via food, entertaining and a good margarita!
Heidi Rae Weinstein of Life Family Food -- a personal chef and woman on a mission to provide families with a 'Game Plan' to sit down at the table together, eat mindfully, healthfully and organically and revive the family dinner table to pass onto future generations.
Michelle Rivera of Mommyhood To Hollywood -- an Emmy award winning television host who brings tips, finds, advice and personal experience to parents on how to live an 'A list' life without the 'A list' price. Elizabeth Lamont of Room at the Beach -- a self-made retail entrepreneur who is branding the California lifestyle at home concept, helps people bring out the best in themselves by making their homes a beautiful place to be. Lauren Lobley of Delectable You -- A passionate pastry chef whose chef tales have endeared followers to eat up every word of her experiences during pastry school. Daily Dosage is a collection of inspirational images neatly displayed here for your enjoyment.
That type of person usually isn't looking for a long-term relationship where they can build intimacy with you over time. The Solution: Here’s how you can take the first steps towards vulnerability and successful relationships.
Brown conducted thousands of interviews to understand what lies at the the root of deep social connection. Although we may try to run from vulnerability, it is an inevitable part of social relationships. On the other hand, when people stick to the truth (including avoiding saying little white lies), not only does their well-being increase but their relationships actually improve, recent research suggests. To know that you are seen and loved for who you are and to perceive someone else in all of their vulnerability and love them as they are may just be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences.
If you are looking to seduce a man, not just into bed, but also into a meaningful relationship, then the key to a successful seduction is in creating ‘intimacy’. When a man seduces a woman it is initially because of a physical attraction, and ultimately he wants to get her into bed.
Again, it is not always the case, but ask yourself honestly, is this what you are ultimately looking for? You might think it is easy to get a guy’s attention – all you have to do is appeal to his desire to sleep with you, right?
If you want more than just sex, you need to work on making him realize that there is much more to you than just a great body and a sexy smile.
If you want to create a connection with a guy you have to make him feel ‘different from the rest’. The way you use eye contact can be very effective in communicating an intimate connection with another person.


Play around with your eye contact and give this guy access to what is going on inside your head. An unexpected touch on the arm during a conversation can produce a shot of electricity through the recipient’s body.
Make this technique most effective by limiting how you communicate with other people when he is around, so that he notices the difference and again, feels unique and flattered to be paid such direct attention. When you talk to him make him feel needed by crafting your conversation to specifically include him as an individual. It might be that you share your problems with him because you know that he has the information or experience to provide you with the advice or solutions you need. Men naturally want to look after women because it reinforces their masculinity, and this is always something that you can use to create a connection and a kind of intimacy with a man. Using intimacy to create a meaningful connection with a man works to seduce him because it develops feelings between you both in a natural way. It might sound obvious, but the more time you spend together the more used to you he will become and the stronger the bond between you will grow because you will share experiences, laugh and become accustomed to each other’s personal quirks. When guys get together they talk about different kinds of things, and so talking to you will be something he can’t experience with his guy friends. You can be the girl next door by lowering your expectations, not always making a noticeable effort to look amazing, go for the casual vibe and always have your own priorities at the top of the list so that he respects you and doesn’t start taking you for granted. They are looked to for everything from advice, guidance, direction and opinions down to what they're eating for dinner that night. To build a sustainable following it is required to be 'real' -- in this sense you are at risk by taking a stand or saying something that people may not agree with, but it pays off in the long run -- and people know who you are. Clearing your calendar, finding someone to pick up the kids, getting dressed, getting in the car, on a plane -- these are all investments of time and energy. She just completed a collaborative charity cookbook for Japan called Peko Peko -- the Japanese word for the sound your hungry tummy grumbling makes. She has raised much needed funds for hunger relief by founding The National Bake Sale with Share Our Strength. She now focuses her talents on her new creation -- the small, perfect, healthy, and guilt free doughnut. Her unique gift for making people feel welcome and bringing life to any party has earned her an expert reputation as being one of America's most sought after hosts. Keep your creative juices flowing by checking out Daily Dosage every weekday, Monday through Friday! Even outside of romance, vulnerability is something we encounter frequently: calling someone who has just lost a child, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Another recent study indicates that verbally expressing our feelings exactly as they are without beating around the bush may help us overcome emotions faster.
Brown explains that women often tell men that they want their partner to be vulnerable and to share their feelings but then recoil in disgust when men do. Next time you feel yourself close up in fear in a romantic relationship or otherwise, notice if you can make the choice to be courageous and embrace vulnerability. This might sound a bit reductionist, and certainly it isn’t set in stone, but generally speaking, men don’t sign up for any kind of emotional commitment immediately.
If so, then your seduction approach has to be different to that of a man’s, because your intentions and desire go further than the bedroom. Your goal goes much further than the bedroom, so the bedroom shouldn’t even come into the seduction. It’s not because they are stupid, they just think and behave differently from women, so they may not immediately relate to your emotional expressions. When you communicate with your eyes, you are communicating solely with the person you are directing your eyes at, which means that you are sharing something specifically with them.
He will begin to feel special because he will understand that you are communicating only with him, like a secret language of insinuation. It is one thing to talk to a person, even with a conscious effort to establish meaningful eye contact, but once you introduce ‘touch’ into the conversation you are not only creating a mental connection, but you are reinforcing it with physical communication. Think about making the conversations into the kind of conversations you can only have with one person – him.
By always coming to him to discuss these personal problems he will begin to feel very useful to you, and in a sense you will become useful to him because you appeal to his desire to ‘provide’ some form of care. Alternatively you can focus on things you have in common, and things that share that you can bond over.


Soon he will begin to realize how much he misses you when you’re not around, because you have become so naturally integrated into his life.
Share dreams, tell stories about your childhood; basically, give him the chance to really get to know you. You will allow him to open up fully because he doesn’t have to ‘compete’ in a macho sense, so there will be no defense up. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. They are called upon by major Fortune 500 companies to help shape and counsel product research and development, are responsible for shifts in trends, and can influence consumers like wind to a weather vane. The collaborative efforts of the online entrepreneurs are counter intuitive in the dog-eat-dog world of bricks and mortar, or traditional businesses. One of the biggest surprises to these seasoned pros is the commitment and loyalty to the relationship of their followers.
In doing so they are in touch with their authentic selves and therefore are energized by what they do for a living.
Liza is dedicated to bringing her unique brand of "celebrating every day" to aspiring hosts across the country.
Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them. While we may try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others in actual fact pretense often has the opposite effect intended. The truth is that when we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, we benefit, our relationships improve, and we may even become more attractive. When women share their feelings, men often feel frustrated or powerless and want to find a fixed and pragmatic solution.
She founded Fulfillment Daily and a frequent contributor to Harvard Business Review and Psychology Today. A woman, on the other hand, tends to have something else on her mind when she goes about trying to seduce a man; she is not merely trying to get his trousers off and get him into bed. This is not about persuading him to sleep with you, this is about making him realize that he wants to know and spend more time with you, it is about him developing ‘feelings’ for you. If however, you do it in a physical and visual way, you will grab his attention straight away.
By joining forces, these pioneers are able to see their message come to life more quickly, powerfully, profitably and in the process build each other up.
Through tragedy and triumphs, followers have offered homes, flyer mileage, support and heart felt good deeds beyond all wildest expectations. Sharing personal experiences creates intimacy and fortifies an otherwise seemingly superficial relationship. The conviction and genuine love for what they do is apparent as their eyes light up the room when they speak!
Guiding followers on the art of hosting and how to be the life of their own parties is her passion. Research by Paula Niedenthal shows that we resonate too deeply with one another not to perceive inauthenticity. More likely than not, she is trying to create a real connection because she wants more than a one-night-stand; she wants a meaningful relationship.
A guy doesn’t have to go to great lengths to impress the girl next door, which means he can relax and enjoy the relationship that is developing.
Once you have slept with him, you will have given him the prize he was after and he will have lost interest because there is nothing more to want as his desire were one-tracked. Research shows that the quality that makes a relationship last is its degree of affection and true affection implies vulnerability.
A study by James Gross shows that when we are inauthentic and try to hide our feelings, others respond physiologically (a rise in blood pressure).
This physiological response may explain our discomfort around inauthentic or “fake” people. Moreover, someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.



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