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admin | Get Rid Of Bacterial Infection | 17.09.2015
We did our own research into the lexical world of VAGINA, and this produced some interesting results.
The fact that Republicans are trying to legislate something they are unwilling to even say adds extra layers of hilarity to VAGINAgate.
In a world conspicuously devoid of adverts for wiener cleaner, it’s a bit disconcerting to see ‘Woo hoo for my froo froo!’ posted on the side of telephone boxes throughout the country. Such terms are perhaps just about acceptable when you have a little girl with a tricycle injury and don’t want her uttering the C-bomb.
The problem with euphemising the term ‘VAGINA’ is that it takes serious discussion of them off to the menu. Of course, the implication that you can’t really love your VAGINA unless you use a certain product is deeply impertinent.
Until they finally realised that it annihilated everything good inside your flange, douching that made you smell detergent-like was an incredibly popular activity, promoted mostly by VAGINA-haters in the US.
In light of this, it’s of utmost importance that you learn to call your VAGINA what it is, and furthermore, accept it in its natural state. Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter are co-founders and editors of online magazine, The Vagenda.
The government may be good at delivering speeches, but they just don't deliver for working people.
The construction figures released today – showing a fall in output of 1.1 per cent in the first three months of the year – are yet another deeply worrying sign of a stalling economy. They will also be excruciatingly embarrassing for the Chancellor. Last October George Osborne declared to Conservative Party Conference ‘we are the builders’. Unfortunately, the march of the makers hasn't even left its staring point yet and the engine seems to be running on empty. The Chancellor – like the Prime Minister – may be good on rhetoric and full of glitzy PR, but the reality always fails to match up. Beyond the worrying figures on construction and manufacturing, there are many other warning signs flashing on the economic dashboard.
Our economy needs to build on the pragmatic and progressive work begun by Peter Mandelson and continued by Vince Cable when they ran the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills. We need a Government that is willing to work closely with employers and unions, with skills providers and city regions, and with many other stakeholders to address common challenges. Perhaps because our VAGINAS, especially those of our American sisters are, much like Stalingrad, increasingly under siege (Stalingrad is another euphemism for VAGINA). The feminist backlash to the suggestion of transvaginal probes involved women inundating Senator Ryan McDoogle’s Facebook page with detailed information about their lady bits.

From the Inga Muscio classic Cunt: A Declaration of Independence to Dr Catherine Blackledge’s The Story of V, to Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, women have been trying to wrestle their vaginas out of male hands and away from male terms which don’t belong to us for ages now. Half the population carry them around in their pants without freaking out, yet if VAGINAS were supposed to complement the saccharine, flower-gathering view of everyday women by smelling like a lavender patch, they would. VAGINAS are a wonderful arrangement of flaps capable of the most magnificent things, just as God, in Her infinite wisdom, intended. Productivity has stalled under the Tories, with the gap between the UK and the rest of the G7 opening up to a yawning 17 per cent. Osborne promised in 2010 to eliminate the structural deficit in five years and to preserve our AAA credit rating. Unfortunately, the current Secretary of State – Sajid Javid – is so hidebound by his restrictive economic orthodoxy and his ideological disinclination to intervene, that he just is not capable of doing what is necessary to give the UK economy the best chance to thrive and prosper.
We need a Government that will work with employers to tackle the skills emergency, address the productivity crisis, and unlock other structural barriers to growth.
Over the coming months, I look forward to working with employers, experts, unions, skills providers and others to develop the modern industrial policy that we need.
State representative Lisa Brown hilariously offended some Republicans last week when she had the temerity to utter the word during a ridiculously euphemistic debate about female contraception and abortion. The fact that ‘VAGINA’ is back with a vengeance can only be good in the face of patronising advertising such as the below, from a well-known feminine hygiene brand that we don’t care to publicise here.
Celebrating because you got the right product to make your natural VAGINA less disgusting: not exactly the passive aggressive message we relish. The potential for hilarity (pastrami curtains, anyone?) has been eschewed in favour of prudishness. How on earth are we supposed to retain possession of them if we can’t even call them what they are? Lisa Brown being banned from saying "vagina", it's no wonder America were at the forefront (pun intended) of fanny denial. Once you do that, you’ll realise that anyone who says otherwise is most likely a DOUCHEBAG. This week we found out that UK manufacturing industry had entered recession for the second time under this government. This has been the main cause of the ferocious squeeze on living standards – now the longest in over a century. We need a Government that will re-set the rules of the game to incentivise long-term patient investment, innovation and value creation, rather than the short-termism and debt-fuelled value-extraction which we see in too many areas of our economy today.
One which supports high-skill, high-pay jobs, and delivers strong, sustainable, and shared growth.

We encountered two Italian exchange students who told us that the standard slang term for down there in Italy is ‘potato’ - a visual we’re finding it slightly difficult to get our heads around. They suggest a variety of terms, ranging from ‘mini’ to ‘twinkle’ to ‘hoo ha’, before uttering the immortal tagline ‘whatever you call it, make sure you love it.’ VOM. The whole ‘froo froo’ shebang has led to an internet-wide speculation on how you should refer to your lady parts - with equally cutesy results. Fundamentalist Christians are no better, as the online post ’51 Christian Friendly Terms For VAGINA’, which jokingly suggests such legends as ‘sin bucket’, ‘devil sponge’ and ‘neighbour of anus’, goes to show. Which is why it is of utmost importance that, if you can bring yourself to do it, you stop referring to your ‘la-la’ and start using the proper anatomical terminology. Pussy polishers that claim to say woo woo to your frou frou are just the natural extension of douching, which should have died a death before we even knew they did more harm than good. His budget earlier this year revealed huge downgrades in estimates for future growth, wages, productivity and levels of investment. A schoolgirl, meanwhile, insisted that her mother referred to it as her ‘fairy’, which is just begging for years of psychoanalysis later in life when she realises that at the same age, she believed that a fairy took her teeth in exchange for money. The same happened to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who since deleting the posts became the lucky recipient of oodles of hand-knitted and crocheted VAGINAS. We wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that you inundate the Facebook page of that ‘feminine hygiene product’ (read: vagina perfume) with ‘VULVA’ posts, but here’s the link and a labelled diagram of the general area. It also showed he was failing on two of the three targets he had set himself on welfare spending and debt. Shout it from your office cubicle, your freelancer’s Starbucks table, your library cubby hole (also a euphemism for VAGINA).
Finally - the mystery of where those milk teeth disappear to is solved (and with it, the origins of the possibly mythological disease ‘VAGINA dentata').
Then there was the viral video, ‘Republicans, Get in my VAGINA.’ VAGINAS are back, and they mean business. As the economy stalls, he looks increasingly likely to fail on his third target – the economically illiterate promise to run a surplus by 2020.

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