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One bright day in late autumn a family of Ants were bustling about in the warm sunshine, drying out the grain they had stored up during the summer, when a starving Grasshopper, his fiddle under his arm, came up and humbly begged for a bite to eat. With his head full of this foolish idea, he became so puffed up with pride and vanity that he halted and started to bray loudly. A Raven, which you know is black as coal, was envious of the Swan, because her feathers were as white as the purest snow.
So he left his home in the woods and fields and flew down to live on the lakes and in the marshes.
Two Goats, frisking gayly on the rocky steeps of a mountain valley, chanced to meet, one on each side of a deep chasm through which poured a mighty mountain torrent. A Merchant, driving his Ass homeward from the seashore with a heavy load of salt, came to a river crossed by a shallow ford.
The angry Merchant immediately turned about and drove the Ass back to the seashore, where he loaded him with two great baskets of sponges. The Gnat buzzed away to tell the whole world about his victory, but instead he flew straight into a spider's web. A certain man who visited foreign lands could talk of little when he returned to his home except the wonderful adventures he had met with and the great deeds he had done abroad. A Cock was busily scratching and scraping about to find something to eat for himself and his family, when he happened to turn up a precious jewel that had been lost by its owner.
At a great celebration in honor of King Lion, the Monkey was asked to dance for the company.
At last, when one of his huge feet came within an inch of King Lion's nose, the animals were so disgusted that they set upon the Camel in a rage and drove him out into the desert.
Shortly afterward, refreshments, consisting mostly of Camel's hump and ribs, were served to the company. A Wild Boar was sharpening his tusks busily against the stump of a tree, when a Fox happened by. Just as a great Bear rushed to seize a stray kid, a Lion leaped from another direction upon the same prey. Just then a Fox dashed up, and seizing the kid, made off with it as fast as he could go, while the Lion and the Bear looked on in helpless rage. The Fox one day thought of a plan to amuse himself at the expense of the Stork, at whose odd appearance he was always laughing. The hungry Stork was much displeased at the trick, but he was a calm, even-tempered fellow and saw no good in flying into a rage. At that moment he scented a panther and in an instant was bounding away through the forest.
The Peacock, they say, did not at first have the beautiful feathers in which he now takes so much pride.
Presently the Peacock saw an Eagle soaring high up in the blue sky and felt a desire to fly, as he had been accustomed to do. To distinguish themselves from the soldiers in the ranks, the new leaders proudly bound on their heads lofty crests and ornaments of feathers or straw.
The Weasels accepted the challenge with eagerness, for they were always ready for a fight when a meal was in sight. The Wolf could not help thinking how nice it would be to have a fine fat Dog to eat instead of the scrawny object before him.
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Kill adult fleas feasting on your dog quickly and naturally with this homemade dog shampoo. If this happens, your Schnauzer may begin to suffer with a dog skin allergy with patches of hair loss, similar to ringworm, plus your dog's skin may begin to emit an unpleasant odor. Natural Pet Pharmaceuticals Homeopathic Allergies Formula 4 oz for DogsDesigned to provide fast relief of dog allergies affecting the eyes, ears, nose, throat and skin of your pet. Get a FREE quote really fast online by providing some basic info about your Mini Schnauzer. It was mounted on an Ass adorned with garlands and gorgeous trappings, and a grand procession of priests and pages followed it through the streets. But in the midst of his song, his driver guessed what the Ass had got into his head, and began to beat him unmercifully with a stick.
The foolish bird got the idea that if he lived like the Swan, swimming and diving all day long and eating the weeds and plants that grow in the water, his feathers would turn white like the Swan's.
But though he washed and washed all day long, almost drowning himself at it, his feathers remained as black as ever. The trunk of a fallen tree formed the only means of crossing the chasm, and on this not even two squirrels could have passed each other in safety. They had crossed this river many times before without accident, but this time the Ass slipped and fell when halfway over. On the way home the Ass, remembering what had happened at the ford, purposely let himself fall into the water, and again got rid of most of his burden. At the ford the Ass again tumbled over; but when he had scrambled to his feet, it was a very disconsolate Ass that dragged himself homeward under a load ten times heavier than before.
Mad with rage, the Lion struck fiercely at the Gnat, but only succeeded in tearing himself with his claws.
And there, he who had defeated the King of beasts came to a miserable end, the prey of a little spider. His dancing was very clever indeed, and the animals were all highly pleased with his grace and lightness. He was very sure that he could dance quite as well as the Monkey, if not better, so he pushed his way into the crowd that was gathered around the Monkey, and rising on his hind legs, began to dance.


While the Ass cropped a fresh bit of greens, the Fox would devour a chicken from the neighboring farmyard or a bit of cheese filched from the dairy. But when the Lion saw that the Ass was his for the taking, he first of all struck down the traitor Fox. Such deceit was unpardonable, and Birds and Beasts made common cause to drive out the Bats.
The two fought furiously for the prize until they had received so many wounds that both sank down unable to continue the battle. That very same morning a hungry Wolf came by farther up the stream, hunting for something to eat. The Stork gladly accepted the invitation and arrived in good time and with a very good appetite. But it was set out in a very shallow dish, and all the Stork could do was to wet the very tip of his bill. But his plans were very much changed when he met a Lion, who, without making any excuses, took the Lamb away from him.
He greatly admired the graceful arch of his antlers, but he was very much ashamed of his spindling legs. But as he ran his wide-spreading antlers caught in the branches of the trees, and soon the Panther overtook him. These, Juno, whose favorite he was, granted to him one day when he begged her for a train of feathers to distinguish him from the other birds. In every battle the Weasels carried off the victory, as well as a large number of the Mice, which they ate for dinner next day.
Then after long preparation of the Mouse army in all the arts of war, they sent a challenge to the Weasels. It happened to be a very lean and bony Dog, and Master Wolf would have turned up his nose at such meager fare had he not been more hungry than usual.
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We have lots gifts for Miniature Schnauzer Lovers including T Shirts, Stickers, Home Decor items and more. As the Ass walked along, the people bowed their heads reverently or fell on their knees, and the Ass thought the honor was being paid to himself. And as the water weeds he ate did not agree with him, he got thinner and thinner, and at last he died. A great many persons in Rhodes had seen him do it and would prove that what he told was true. But the big hulking Camel made himself very ridiculous as he kicked out his knotty legs and twisted his long clumsy neck. It is said the quarrel grew out of the persecution the race of Geese suffered at the teeth of the Fox family. So when they saw the Birds getting the better of it, they were Birds for all there was in it. And since then the Bat family hides in dark towers and deserted ruins, flying out only in the night. The Fox arrived promptly at the time that had been set, and the Stork served a fish dinner that had a very appetizing smell. Then the Stag perceived that the legs of which he was so ashamed would have saved him had it not been for the useless ornaments on his head. Then, decked in his finery, gleaming with emerald, gold, purple, and azure, he strutted proudly among the birds. In despair the Mice called a council, and there it was decided that the Mouse army was always beaten because it had no leaders. The EndHEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, (formerly California)White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Neither would give way, and so they both fell, to be swept away by the roaring torrent below.
Delighted to find how much lighter his burden had become, the Ass finished the journey very gayly. At last, worn out with rage and covered with wounds that his own teeth and claws had made, the Lion gave up the fight.
But while they were debating how best to meet death, they thought they heard a noise and in a flash were scampering off to the warren.
But the Fox lapped it up easily, and, to increase the disappointment of the Stork, made a great show of enjoyment. Instead of flying up to greet the first rays of the morning sun or to bathe in the rosy light among the floating clouds at sunset, he would have to walk the ground more encumbered and oppressed than any common barnyard fowl. So a large number of generals and commanders were appointed from among the most eminent Mice.
The privates easily slipped into their holes, but the Mouse leaders could not squeeze through the narrow openings because of their head-dresses. Wolf snapped up such delicious morsels without making any bones about it, but this Lamb looked so very helpless and innocent that the Wolf felt he ought to have some kind of an excuse for taking its life.
On the way they passed a pond where a family of Frogs was sitting among the reeds on the bank. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? Important Women's Health Issue:* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?* Do you suffer from shyness?* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!" Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high with no wood underneath . It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned outto be an optical Aleutian .3.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because itwas a weapon of math disruption.5. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each otherNew Tests For Long Term Care During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whetheror not an older person should be put in an old age home?" Well," he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." Oh, I understand," I said. Bartenders Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!' 'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?' 'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.
They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald's. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th,24th & 29th. Writer Samuel Clemens took the term for his pen name after a stint as an apprentice river pilot.



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