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I assumed that once my divorce was final, it would be easy to go right back to my maiden name. I always imagined I'd go back to my maiden name, my family name that I feel connected to through generations of family.
My daughter is a teen and vacillates between not caring about my last name, asking me to keep her name, or suggesting I go back to my maiden name. If you are changing anything about your name you will need to go through the following steps to first change your name on you social security card. The social security lady told me that if in a year or two I am tired of having 2 last names I can change it to either one.
I had my paperwork filled out to do that, but the ss lady convinced me to keep Smith Dorobek as 2 last names! I changed my last name and was excited for it, I love having a unique last name and letting go of my past. Thanks for sharing this, I got remarried 7 months ago and finally got all my work accounts updated just yesterday. What I ultimately learned out of the whole ordeal was to name my kids the name I wanted them to go by as a first name and when they get married they will have an easier time with getting things how they want them to be. I did the same as a lot of other commenters… made my maiden name my middle name and took his last name.
I will admit it will be so strange to write my new last name for a while, but I feel it shows my commitment to him and the marriage.
Also, I totally didn't know about all of the info about traveling with a child who has a different last name than you… so interesting! I started my first student teaching position right after we got back from our honeymoon, so it was a great time to switch. I'm in the midst of this decision and choosing which last name to use is not as easy as I thought it would be.
I keep thinking about what last name I'd like to sign or type everyday as I sit down to write.
Bring this form and your original or certified copy of your marriage license to your local social security office. You can find more on the wedding after math here: thank you cards, changing your last name, and the super simple wedding scrapbook.


I loved starting a new family with him, and for me personally, that meant me taking his family name. I think after 3 years the passport is the only thing I still need to change.The bank always messes it up. I will be teaching my girls to keep their own names or do what you did if marrying a trade down last name – or trade it if they want and they think they are trading up. Being a bit of a feminist too I just, to me it's romantic, I want us to have the same surname and I want our children to have the same name as me too. I am changing my last name, it means a LOT to him and honestly its something that I will cherish.
His parents are divorced and remarried (dad is now divorced again) and mine have been married for 35 years going on 36… together for 40. For me, its how I was raised so its the norm for me, however I know a lot of married women that kept their last name. I think that when the time comes for me to get married, I will try to make my maiden name a second middle name, or even have two last names. Coming from divored parents it's confusing for the kids in school To have different last names than their parents, mine was simple, I love my family but I never liked my last name and I thought it was ugly, and I really liked my husbands name so I totally dropped it! From what I gather, there are 3 main camps on the issue: take his name, hyphenate names, or keep your last name.
Obviously you don’t want to make brand hew accounts with your new name because then you would loose all of your previous miles.
My husband thinks it’s so dumb and tedious, but I love keeping every part of my identity.
Now, if my maiden name had been special in any way I might have had to improvise along the lines of what you did. Also, on my dad's side of the family, out of him and his 4 siblings, only my dad and my Uncle Mike are the guys. I felt that if I would have kept my last name, it would be like I was not fully committed to the marriage. But to make my child feel connected, do I have to keep this last name that isn't really even mine?
But I also moved countries within a month of getting married, so in the UK a lot of my bank etc that are still there are in my surname and probably will be for some time.


I was happy and she didn't feel like I was just throwing away something that was meaningful to her {really, how meaningful can Marie with no family connection be?}. My lady said I could do whatever I wanted too… she told me I could add another middle name if I wanted! Do I walk around this planet with a last name that isn't an accurate label of me just so I don't upset my child?
If changing her name to his is necessary to show that he is “important” to her, then why is the reverse not true? Why should Andree’s fiance expect her to change her name to his without ever considering changing his name to hers? How is her refusing to change her name a sign that she is uncaring while his not even considering changing his name means nothing of the sort?Ultimately, it should be each person’s decision what to do. Oh, and don't get me started on how hard it was to convince the nurse who checked me in for an emergency c-section that I really did legally have two middle names. Yet another reason I rejected the QF movement out of hand the second my parents tried to lay it on me.
Based upon that, I have decided that I own my last name even though it has paternal origins, and that the patriarchial implications of paternity and inheritance can end with my spouse and me. He never pressured me to take his, and even considered taking mine, but it turned out to be a much bigger deal for men to do than women, so we kept what we had. Hisfirstname Hislastname” and several others given that we are both feminists and reject patriarchal traditions like these.
If you’re going into a profession that requires a license, strongly consider keeping your maiden name because these days a career can last longer than a marriage.
Perhaps last name changing should be centered around a more practical and rational method: The last name with the fewest family members to keep it going should be taken. He won fair and square, but I do regret that we didn’t take the opportunity to make a feminist statement.



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