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Does taking risks build confidence became too long to add a reflection on my family holiday(vacation) to Gozo. But my lasting memory of the holiday is when we crossed the island, by two buses and a long, hot walk, to the Azure Window.
We didn’t realize at the time that large rocks frequently fall from the arch, as the Window is expected to collapse through natural erosion over the next few years!
There have been some stimulating comments to my last post, with some strong arguments in favor of adventure and risk taking. As part of an interview I’m doing, I was recently asked about frequently asked questions to this blog. One of my comments to last weeks post stressed the importance of good, supportive instruction and a graduated approach to introducing people to a risky activity. Having been complimentary about my daughters last time and their confidence in going away, my pride has been shattered.
I would argue that for our own development and quality of life we cannot remain permanently within our comfort zone. As I argued last week, I don’t believe undertaking big, physical risks or challenges is the way to go.
As a society we seem to have a knee jerk reaction whenever someone is hurt doing some activity to shroud it in protection.
Talking about getting out of your comfort zone my husband had to really step out of his when he got in that boat because they did not have life jackets and the sea was rather rough. A less fearful, more objective view of our lives enables us to see risk for what it is – a risk not worth attracting or a risk that will help us grow.
I read this just before my wife drags me out cycling, so I’m going to be a bit more mindful of the risks!
What is self confidence, where does it come from?  Self confidence, or self esteem, is defined by each person uniquely. Of course that kind of carelessness can have a negative impact on you as well, so there’s definitely a health balance between not caring and caring so much that outside factors cripple or paralyze you.
Self confidence doesn’t just dissipate like steam rising from a boiling pot, it is envied by others, and ignored by tragedies that we go through.
It’s hard to grow out of that mindset, but kids usually take a path when they reach the teen years – and it continues on throughout adulthood.
Sometimes even if someone starts out on the right path – of having ample inner strength – they can lose it as they let their defenses down and allow other people to deeply influence them. If we ask ourselves on ways how to gain self confidence, it’s because we’re in a state of helplessness – almost like hanging on by a thread and feel like if we don’t get a stronger hold on our emotions and confidence, we could lose everything. No matter how often you feel like you’ve been knocked down or that you’re unable to face a situation, you will always have a spark of confidence ignited in your soul. Stay tuned and get more tips on how to gain self confidence at work and in a relationship in our next articles. Tagged  gain self confidence, gaining self confidence, how to build self confidence, how to gain self esteem, Self Esteem Issue, what is self confidence. No matter who we are or what career path we have chosen, becoming familiar with a role and its responsibility takes time.
This pressure contributes to stress and fear, especially as new, inexperienced nurses enter the field. It has also been my experience that the most confident nurses may not be the most competent nurses.
For instance, nurses that love trauma will work in emergency centers while nurses that enjoy caring at the end of life will enjoy hospice situations. It is also important to realize that the volume of knowledge at our fingertips in the nursing profession is so vast that there is much to learn. It is also important to continually advance learning through reading your professional nursing journals and looking for evidence for your practice through lifelong learning.
Developing a strong relationship with educators and preceptors will provide you a great connection for learning. Always develop a strong relationship with your manager and leadership team on your unit or in your area.
Whether you are a new or experienced nurse, there is always going to be those days when you need help to get your work done. If you find yourself in this position it is not that you are a failure and cannot get your work done. Lastly, the most effective individuals are those who have a great degree of emotional intelligence.
When she was just 22 years old and playing in her second Solheim Cup, Suzann Pettersen received the shock – and honor — of her young career. Pettersen was paired with Annika Sorenstam, the owner of six major titles and well on her way to becoming one of the best ever at the time, for the opening fourball match.
The event was being held in Sorenstam’s home country of Sweden, and Pettersen admitted that she was a bit overwhelmed by the moment. Perhaps Pettersen sees the same potential in Engzelius, 25, as Sorenstam saw in Pettersen a decade ago. Engzelius turned pro shortly after graduating from the University of Tulsa in December, and she aspires to become the next great player from a small contingent of pros produced by the Scandinavian nation.
Once that was accomplished, she started aiming higher, and part of that was trying to get into an American college.
She settled on the University of Tulsa in Oklahoma – she said it “was a really good golf community. She qualified to play in all 39 matches in her four years at Tulsa, accumulating 10 top-10 finishes that included one win (Oral Roberts Shootout in 2011), and she received first-team all-Conference USA honors as a senior. But as successful as she started to become in college, the thought of turning pro prior to graduation never crossed her mind. By the time she was ready to take a chance at Q School, she didn’t have an option to try for the Ladies European Tour because she would have missed her final exams at Tulsa.


She did, however, achieve conditional status on the LPGA Tour as well as full status for the Symetra Tour, the LPGA’s developmental circuit.
While her success has been limited, Engzelius has no regrets about the path she has chosen. As far as her game is concerned, she said she’d like to get some more distance on her driver and admitted that she’s had some struggles with that club throughout the season. But more than anything technical, Engzelius is taking away what she believes are far more important lessons from her first year as a pro. And maybe someday she’ll be able to inspire a young Norwegian player just as Pettersen inspired her. Davis Love III, 51, used a pair of eagles to shoot a 64 and come from behind to win the Wyndham Championship. Lydia Ko parred the first playoff hole to defeat Stacy Lewis and win her third Canadian Open.
I applied for a position in the Student Academic Success Center, and received the position of Promotions Peer (Now called a SASC Academic Assistant).
Another essential skill that I have gained from the Peer Helper Program is the ability to balance academic, personal, social, and Peer Helper demands. The Learning Log is a forum for university students to reflect on their experiences and share ideas. Although I was being critical of the risk taking (see Comments below), I’m not advocating remaining within our comfort zone. Scrambling over some sharp rocks we were able to swim around and under this famous natural rock arch.
In the UK you wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near either the top or bottom of the rock because of the risks. Comments form a vital part of any blog and sometimes the discussion there is more interesting than the original post.
Stepping out of your comfort zone, whatever that it, always gives a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that you don’t get otherwise. To use the time worn saying that “the only thing constant in life is change” is not just true of our external environment or our physical being. We observe the relevant facts presented to us, make a decision, then ‘just do it’ – simple and in the flow! I am mindful and attentive to these risks but have no fear of them and enjoy the thrill of close calls that could have been disastrous if I had relied on my comfort zone and safe assumption. You might see it as simply being able to say no when you want to, while another person might consider it living life in a way where every action and emotion you have is geared toward your success and happiness. When we’re first born, we are void of excuses – of negative thought patterns about ourselves or life in general. According to Wikipedia the socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc. In order for this to occur we have to hand over a certain amount of permission allowing it to happen, growing and gaining. As a teen, you either were labeled headstrong, or not labeled at all – because people without self esteem are barely noticeable.
Or, they go through a series of situations that bring them to their knees and with every encounter, they’re a little less strong.
The difference in professional nursing versus another non-healthcare related career is that for us, the stakes are high. Thirty-seven years of nursing has taught me many things in relation to the notion of confidence and competence. Throughout my life I have met many individuals that seemed to be visions in their own minds yet did not manifest itself in their performance. Do not fall into the trap of “I know it all.” That may be just as dangerous as not knowing it all, since you have decided that you no longer need to learn. In the past, I always felt that asking questions made me look stupid in the eyes of others.
Especially in the area of hospital administration, asking the important questions got me to the best decisions. I always suggest that you do this by first of all scheduling a formal meeting with your manger to get to know them. It may be a tough assignment, changes in patient condition or the fact that you may not feel well which is making the physical work difficult at this time.
It is better for nurses to feel less confident and seek help rather than be over confident and make serious or fatal mistakes. Someone suggested that perhaps Sorenstam asked to be paired with the up-and-coming Norwegian.
It’s a charity event that Pettersen stages in her native Norway to raise money to help young golfers.
Engzelius was involved in competitive horseback riding from the time she was 5, and it seemed as though that’s the direction her future was heading. The family that owned the horse Engzelius rode moved away, so the 13-year-old had to choose another path. She took a year off after high school not only to continue to hone her game but also so she could take her time in choosing a college.
It was really good for me to play there.” – and that’s where she really began to blossom as a player. It was during that time Engzelius also won two Norwegian Championships (she had a course-record 64 during the 2010 Norwegian Championship), and she finished her career at Tulsa ranked No.
She’s spent her season splitting time between the two; she has made the cut in three of five events on the Symetra Tour and missed the cut in each of her starts on the LPGA Tour.
No matter what happens the rest of the season, she’ll be exempted into the final stage of LPGA Tour Q School at the end of the year. And knowing what this life is about … gaining an understanding of how everything is and find the best method for me to play the best.


Moving 6 hours away, having to share a room with a total stranger, and doing much more homework than I was used to in high school. Myself and another student are responsible for promoting the services that SASC has to offer – including PASS, WTS, Academic Advising, and Learning Support Services.  A few times a month we bring out a kiosk with several flyers, answer questions any students may have, and play a fun trivia game. I knew I would enjoy being able to help other students, but I did not anticipate the amount that I would personally benefit from the program.
Five hours a week is the perfect amount, it is not overwhelming, but it keeps you busy – which I love! It is curated by the Office of the Associate Vice-President (Students and Enrolment) at Carleton University. In the case of our holiday, the comfort zone was swimming, sun bathing, reading, walking around the local area, eating in the many restaurants. Being oblivious to the danger, the discomfort we had endured made the experience of swimming under this majestic arch all the more magical. So as well as posting comments, if you have any questions about self confidence or self esteem please let me have them.
We now have a photo similar to the one on this post in our lounge, reminding ourselves of the experience. If you lack confidence say in social situations, your comfort zone is to stay at home and watch TV (for example). Yes, experience and prior knowledge can guide us in making ‘better’ decisions but there is no substitute for clear understanding and acknowledgement of the facts in the present. As children, we’re taught that other people have power over us to some degree – teachers, parents – any and all authority figures.
Like a muscle that’s atrophied, your self confidence has to be flexed for it to work again.
Adults vary in their degree of learning plus their abilities in tactical and didactic learning, coupled with interests in various topics that excite us. First of all, it is important to understand who you are, what you like to do and pursue areas of personal interest that will continue to pique your interest and your desire to learn in that area. Be open to the fact that there may be some things that you do not know and are willing to learn. And there are important relationships that any nurse developing confidence and competence must cultivate. Even if you are not in any formal learning program, ask them for articles, suggestions to care and any questions that you may have.
Ask them what their expectations of you are and share with them what you may want to learn.
Once you identify these areas, whether it is learning, controlling your feelings or managing your behaviors, you can create a successful roadmap for your success.
Regardless, Marita Engzelius was no less honored when Pettersen asked her to represent Norway with her at the team event in September.
Prior to entering high school, she had shot just one round under 80, but she said she caught on to the game fairly quickly and did, indeed, play on the high school team. She advanced all the way to the final stage and missed gaining her full LPGA card by a single stroke.
When making my decision to apply for the Peer Helper Program I remember reading through the Learning Logs at others’ experiences. If we hadn’t made the effort to visit the Azure Window, I would have this nagging feeling that we had missed something. Arriving home from work it needed effort to go ahead with the lesson (which was hard work!!).
To step out, you need to look at gradually doing things that involve increasing social interaction.
How can anyone learn something new if new things are rejected in favour of the known and how exactly did we learn the known? We’re taught to play nice and cave in to some activities and elements of life we may not enjoy just to be polite. It has to be used on a regular basis – tested so that it becomes a force that’s able to protect you from harm and lift you to heights you never knew were possible. It wasn’t until I was almost finished with my MBA (a very difficult degree for me) that I realized that it was important to ask questions. Whenever anyone asked me for help I did what I could do to get them the exposure and learning they were looking for. But I’m not going to improve my swimming without the effort, without doing something a bit uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to deal with all the new challenges that I was about to face. However, by forcing myself out there I really feel a lot more confident in myself and my ability to communicate, not to mention the amazing support I received from my understanding peers and supervisors. This has definitely been one of the best decisions I have made academically and personally. If the question doesn’t relate to a current post, use the contact form to send me an email.
However, with time and strength I pushed through my fears and began to succeed, learning to balance academic work and still have time for social activities.  I felt a true sense of balance in my life during that first year. When I came across the Peer Helper Program I immediately knew it was something I wanted to be a part of.
If you’re looking to enhance your experience at Carleton, and fall more in love with school, all while contributing to your CCR and personal skills, join the Peer Helper Program.



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