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We did our own research into the lexical world of VAGINA, and this produced some interesting results. The fact that Republicans are trying to legislate something they are unwilling to even say adds extra layers of hilarity to VAGINAgate. In a world conspicuously devoid of adverts for wiener cleaner, it’s a bit disconcerting to see ‘Woo hoo for my froo froo!’ posted on the side of telephone boxes throughout the country. Such terms are perhaps just about acceptable when you have a little girl with a tricycle injury and don’t want her uttering the C-bomb. The problem with euphemising the term ‘VAGINA’ is that it takes serious discussion of them off to the menu. Of course, the implication that you can’t really love your VAGINA unless you use a certain product is deeply impertinent. Until they finally realised that it annihilated everything good inside your flange, douching that made you smell detergent-like was an incredibly popular activity, promoted mostly by VAGINA-haters in the US. In light of this, it’s of utmost importance that you learn to call your VAGINA what it is, and furthermore, accept it in its natural state. Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter are co-founders and editors of online magazine, The Vagenda. The apparently unappetising remains of good wine take on new life when distilled into marc. There is no better punctuation to a fine meal than a digestif, the strong liquor that reminds us of our mortality – everything is fleeting, even dinner – as well as aiding an impressive repast in its ultimate task of nourishing the diner. With marc, my favourite digestif, both the mortality and the miracle are there in the glass: sip it and you taste the pulverised remains (stems, grape skins, pips) of the wine refined to make it, as well as experiencing resurrection through distillation, in those unpromising oenological afterthoughts given new life. There is a wonderful story by the American food writer M?F?K Fisher, in which she takes a gourmand to a restaurant, having boasted to him of its credentials, including the flawless service of Charles, the perfect waiter. Marcs come principally from Champagne and Burgundy, sometimes Alsace, occasionally Provence: I once drank a Provencal marc so good, I really could have carried on drinking it for ever, if that had been an option. Pale and pretty in the glass, the marc was delicious, both elegant and boldly cellarish, like a farmhand treading grapes in black tie.
Nina Caplan is the 2014 Fortnum & Mason Drink Writer of the Year and 2014 Louis Roederer International Wine Columnist of the Year for her columns on drink in the New Statesman. What fun to get the correct spacing for this particularly French punctuation in a reflowable eBook! PagetoScreen - Want to be part of a collaborative authored project?  Penguin is asking for you. Here we see the example of the first footnote in the chapter and the reference number in the text. Notes: Attention to detail - for PrintFootnotesThese need to be separated from the main body of the text, and are best set with a smaller size and possibly event a different typeface and colour.
Perhaps because our VAGINAS, especially those of our American sisters are, much like Stalingrad, increasingly under siege (Stalingrad is another euphemism for VAGINA). The feminist backlash to the suggestion of transvaginal probes involved women inundating Senator Ryan McDoogle’s Facebook page with detailed information about their lady bits. From the Inga Muscio classic Cunt: A Declaration of Independence to Dr Catherine Blackledge’s The Story of V, to Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, women have been trying to wrestle their vaginas out of male hands and away from male terms which don’t belong to us for ages now. Half the population carry them around in their pants without freaking out, yet if VAGINAS were supposed to complement the saccharine, flower-gathering view of everyday women by smelling like a lavender patch, they would. VAGINAS are a wonderful arrangement of flaps capable of the most magnificent things, just as God, in Her infinite wisdom, intended. Still, it’s not all grim musings and intestinal gurgling in the postprandial parlour: these potent beverages also offer a promise of redemption.
A marc is like a vanitas, the skull that artists once included in paintings to deliver a warning that no pleasure, however great, can last.


But something is wrong, and the wrongness is encapsulated in the superb marc that Charles digs out for them from some obscure corner of the cellar. There are different rules and heftier taxes for products high in alcohol, so winemakers who make marc because they can’t bear to see anything that has alcoholic potential, even leftovers, go to waste often do so unofficially. Recently, at the restaurant of Mas de Torrent, a former farm in Catalonia that is now a lovely hotel, I spotted marc on the menu. What could be better than a memorable drink that is also a fine reminder of the unpalatable truths that drive us to drink in the first place? You see that the text alignment (left or right), is automatic depending on recto or verso achieved by the paragraph style using Towards the Spine. The idea of any notes is that it is supplementary information and it is entirely optional that the reader even bothers to look, so setting in a style that does not distract from the flow of the reading experience is important.Footnotes are best numbered with an outdented figure, although (for technical reasons) the numbers are most often aligned to the main text block.
State representative Lisa Brown hilariously offended some Republicans last week when she had the temerity to utter the word during a ridiculously euphemistic debate about female contraception and abortion. The fact that ‘VAGINA’ is back with a vengeance can only be good in the face of patronising advertising such as the below, from a well-known feminine hygiene brand that we don’t care to publicise here. Celebrating because you got the right product to make your natural VAGINA less disgusting: not exactly the passive aggressive message we relish. The potential for hilarity (pastrami curtains, anyone?) has been eschewed in favour of prudishness. How on earth are we supposed to retain possession of them if we can’t even call them what they are?
Lisa Brown being banned from saying "vagina", it's no wonder America were at the forefront (pun intended) of fanny denial. Once you do that, you’ll realise that anyone who says otherwise is most likely a DOUCHEBAG. After all, if distillation can make nectar out of nature’s leavings, perhaps we, too, can triumph over fate – or so muses the gourmand over her whisky or eau de vie.
Behind the smooth sophistication of strong, well-made alcohol, there is the musty hint of old grape skins – a pungent reminder that even the magic of alcohol cannot make a grape, or a drinker, eternal. It is “the cleanest, smoothest distillation” that Fisher has ever tasted – but Charles serves far too much and then refills the glasses over their protests. The resulting liquor, an expression of the thrift of the local peasantry as well as the final product of the soil they work, can be offered only as an act of disobedience or as a gift. Unusually, it was Spanish: the superb cava house Gramona has clearly adopted Champagne’s distillation habits along with its methods of making sparkling wine.
Gramona’s marc was entirely satisfying: an ideal complement to our gastronomic excursion, and the perfect place to stop.
Robert Bringhurst doesn't need to bother with those little superscript numbers because the supplementary information is very much nearby for the reader.Still, tradition dictates that in some books, there are footnotes and some there are endnotes (either at the end of the chapter or the end of the book). We encountered two Italian exchange students who told us that the standard slang term for down there in Italy is ‘potato’ - a visual we’re finding it slightly difficult to get our heads around.
They suggest a variety of terms, ranging from ‘mini’ to ‘twinkle’ to ‘hoo ha’, before uttering the immortal tagline ‘whatever you call it, make sure you love it.’ VOM.
The whole ‘froo froo’ shebang has led to an internet-wide speculation on how you should refer to your lady parts - with equally cutesy results.
Fundamentalist Christians are no better, as the online post ’51 Christian Friendly Terms For VAGINA’, which jokingly suggests such legends as ‘sin bucket’, ‘devil sponge’ and ‘neighbour of anus’, goes to show.
Which is why it is of utmost importance that, if you can bring yourself to do it, you stop referring to your ‘la-la’ and start using the proper anatomical terminology.
Pussy polishers that claim to say woo woo to your frou frou are just the natural extension of douching, which should have died a death before we even knew they did more harm than good. Keep everything moving and you will keep moving, goes the digestive logic of the digestif: it is no accident that the names of both drinks translate as “water of life” (“whisky” from the Gaelic “uisge beatha” – uisge meaning “water” and beatha “life”).


A wonderful endpoint becomes endless, as in one of those fables where treats are prolonged until they become a punishment. The idea of a peasant beverage, made by a premium winemaker, in an upgraded farmhouse, at the end of a very sophisticated dinner, was too enticing to pass up, and so we increased the load on purse and liver with a reminder of mortality that may well have hastened its approach. Most publishers will favour the numbers to begin again for each chapter, otherwise the numbers could get unweildy (superscript numbers of more than two digits could look ugly). A schoolgirl, meanwhile, insisted that her mother referred to it as her ‘fairy’, which is just begging for years of psychoanalysis later in life when she realises that at the same age, she believed that a fairy took her teeth in exchange for money.
The same happened to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who since deleting the posts became the lucky recipient of oodles of hand-knitted and crocheted VAGINAS. We wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that you inundate the Facebook page of that ‘feminine hygiene product’ (read: vagina perfume) with ‘VULVA’ posts, but here’s the link and a labelled diagram of the general area.
Let's face it, book design and usability does not often win-out over commercial considerations. Shout it from your office cubicle, your freelancer’s Starbucks table, your library cubby hole (also a euphemism for VAGINA). Finally - the mystery of where those milk teeth disappear to is solved (and with it, the origins of the possibly mythological disease ‘VAGINA dentata'). Then there was the viral video, ‘Republicans, Get in my VAGINA.’ VAGINAS are back, and they mean business. Where footnotes are long, they can be split across more than one page, although this will compromise the usability somewhat.EndnotesNotes are often placed at the end of the chapter or even at the end of the book (before the index).
Lots of space for the text to breath.How I dislike some books that give me less than a centimetre of margin. This approach means that the reader will need to 'hunt down' the note referred to in the text. This usually means that the endnotes will be sectioned by chapter or section.The advantage of endnotes is that the page composition in the vertical plane is not compromised for the sake of the note space.
Ridiculous as this seems, we have seen books with footnotes that take more page space than the main text itself!Sidenotes (sometimes called Margin Notes)Clearly the page layout needs to provide the space in the margins for this to be an option. In this we can set the way the references are displayed in the text (superscript etc), and how the footnotes appear at the bottom of the page. We need a paragraph style set up for the display of the footnotes themeselves and we can (optionally), use a character style for the reference figure in the text.As you can see from the first example spread the footnote list figure is aligned to the left edge of the text box.
You will often see this in the books on your shelves, however, a more attractive arrangement is to 'outdent' these listed figures so that the footnotes are are aligned to the text and the figures are offset from this text box.InDesign does not provide the means to set footnotes outside the text box, so we need to plan for this by indenting all of the text inside the text box by an amount that we then remove from the left margins. You will see from the image provided here that we are using guides to make sure that these items align. The one that I use here is called 'convert footnotes to (dynamic) endnotes' – meaning that the numbering will change if further notes are added.As always when using scripts to change content, save your work first! Scripts will often run through a long sequence of actions; you can always use 'revert' (from the file menu), to get back to the previous. You will see from the image here that the endnotes have their own page(s) with a heading that matches other heading styles. Using these we can control the width and position as the footnotes are converted to side notes.



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