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Okay, maybe it didn’t blow my mind, but it did validate everything that I’ve ever said about online dating.
Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%. It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
Let me repeat: It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
After coaching women for many years, I already suspected this, but this was a stark realization when you see just how few men you even find to be average looking.
In other words, if you’re getting 1 out of 3 people writing back to you, you’re doing okay. A huge problem with online dating is that we have an unrealistic set of expectations about how things work. If you’re writing to a very attractive person, you now know you’re competing with everyone else on the website.
Thus, you’re going to have a lot more success writing to the proverbial “6’s” and “7s” than the “10’s”. Finally, you’ll see that since you can’t force people to write to you (since most men and women are chasing younger, more attractive people), ALL you can do is open up to others and improve the way you interact on your dating site. I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. If women are so rejecting of bald men, why are men shaving their heads ?   I have no problem with bald men.  If I am not attracted to a bald man, his baldness has nothing to do with it. Most men who are balding shave their heads because it look silly and make them appear older with just little hair perking from the sides while the top is gone and the front is recessing. OK Lee, dating is hard enough for EVERYONE, without making cruel remarks to anyone about their physical attributes.
What would YOU think about a man writing to a woman online and saying he wasn’t attracted to small busted women or women with kinky hair ? The study kind of hit home for me because I remember when I was OLD (in which I am planning to try again soon). Lisa is entitled to her opinion, but a man’s looks were never ever at the top of my list. I can honestly say that if I was forced to choose between being single for the rest of my life or being married to a man I was not physically attracted to, I would rather be single. Just because OKCupid owners say this is what the results mean, doesn’t mean that this is true.


I’ve been on okcupid and I can tell you that the men on this site are generally less attractive than the paid sites or even tinder.
1 it is human nature and biology two studies have been done basically every one was made to be palin as possible make up remove hair pulled back in a bunny suit one group had random no.s on their foreheads lower numbers went to their higher number the photos of before and after were extremely different 2 woman upload bad photos everything from bathroom selfies to extremely graphic . I have removed those knots AND nits out of your thick hair many a time, pinned you down to cut those dinosaur claws everyone else calls toenails and rubbed your back when you’ve been sick but I would do that everyday for you, because you my little poppet are mine. From the moment you came onto this earth you have tested every boundary, pushed me to every limit and yet we never love each other any less. That awesome Lions mane we call hair, the array of crazy hats you own (and LOVE,) that little cough you do without fail every 20minutes, your sleep talking and walking, your MineCraft obsession, your naked dance, your vocabulary and knowledge and that awesome brain. This doesn’t mean that they’re not shallow (they are), but rather, that they are consistent and reasonable in terms of “rating” women’s looks.
Men find most women reasonably attractive but spend their time writing only to the hottest ones. I have four sisters so at any family reunion situation I get to hear, (whether I want to or not), their difficulties in love and family (real and imagined). He was very gentlemanly (unlike some men I’ve turned down) and we shared a nice good bye hug. I know its not particularly manly to want girls to look at you but once in a blue moon would make my day. I am in my 30s and definitely feel the crunch of less men on dating sites being remotely interested, I think I am about an 8.5 in looks.
But I have no problem believing that 80% of dating-site male photos really do look worse than an average male does in real life. Made sure you have eaten healthy (almost) every single day, made sure you’ve washed and brushed your little teeth everyday and bathed you even for the good 5 years you hated me for it. I make it very clear to men I meet online that I’m not attracted to men who are balding.
The crazy thing that I was so commitment phobic at the time that when they would reply  I would freak out and sabotage it somehow out of fear that they could get me to commit. A lot of the guys I tried to date when I was in my 20s were disrespectful jerks, and some were even cruel.
The value of this survey is in the conversation it has started, look at all these comments, I’ve read all of these comments, and I find the humanity in each and everyone of them and I find it beautiful, I want to thank every single person who has left a comment about this topic, thank you for sharing a piece of yourself. I know that they have no problems attracting men – in fact that might be part of the problem.
I think that people who have unrealistic expectations for who they are seeking out romantically may have some issues with commit.


Of course I want someone who takes care of himself & his appearance but its not that serious. So I never found anyone…all of the sudden I feel more and more faced with the real prospect of a life without a partner. The guy seriously looked like he was dismembering someone at the moment his picture was taken.
Anyhow, while they were dating, she asked him if he was losing hair and he said no that he went to the doctor and they told him that it was nothing and he felt it was stress and it was growing back.
He can’t help how he was born! I literally get sick to my stomach when people talk about something as superficial as looks.
The reason women do that is because if we rate a guy highly, and we’re remotely attractive, he WILL contact us. In the end, I chose to meet at a crowded place on an early Saturday afternoon… and the guy looked nothing like his picture.
In my case, a few years ago if I had met the guy who possessed every quality I was looking in a man (in terms of looks, personality and social status) showed up, I would have ran in the other direction out of fear.
So many of us reserve the highest ratings for the men we both find attractive AND find likely to be a match for us.
When I asked for a serious answer they said that all other measures of success and appeal being equal, (education, job, fitness level) they would always rate a bald(ing) man as less desireable.  I point all of this out simply to illustrate that women and men are equal in their capacity for shallowness.
She said that 2 years later they met in person and he was almost bald especially in the back and top and she almost turn around and get the next plane to return home. In, general, I don’t contact of flirt with me, I place my profile there and if a man contact me, I chose whether I want to reply or not! When you can no longer evaluate foremost on looks, you get better about evaluating on character. Do you think most people are rating to be as accurate as possible for the OKCupid algorithm to collect correct data, or is it more likely that most women are thinking in terms of the best strategy for themselves?
A more kind assessment might be that people are entitled to their preferences without explanation.
To get the the point, this man was so insecure about his male pattern baldness in his father’s genes that he chose TO lie to her about going bald in the future.



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