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Another important area you can step you can take to increase your confidence is to make an effort on your appearance.
Steps men can take to improve their self confidence by men’s dating expert and confidence coach James Greenier. Everytime I see this photograph it makes me smile, which is why I’ve included it today. Positive thinking is cental to developing self confidence, and we will return repeatedly to ways of driving out negative thoughts.
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Not only is it attractive, but the action actually sends a signal to your brain to release Endorphins and Serotonin, your “feel good” hormones. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience in the past, or perhaps you are more of an introvert or you might have low self-esteem.
If you’ve decided before even leaving your house that you will be rejected, then you have already set yourself up for failure; it becomes a pessimistic, self-fulfilling prophecy. You may not be able to change your past experiences or your innate nature, but there are steps that you can take to build up your self-confidence and create positive interactions with other people.


Instead of going to have fun, you have already put yourself into the frame of mind that you are going to fail. A quote that I like to use for my own self-pep-talk is Woody Allen’s “80% of life is showing up.” Give yourself a pat on the back for deciding to put yourself out there. We are often told not to judge a book by its cover, but, let’s face it, that’s what people do.
Before going into a situation that might make you nervous, for instance a party, there are several things you can do to set yourself up for success. This can trigger your fight or flight response, a physiological response that exists to protect you from perceived danger. If you are heading out to a social event, make sure you have, at a minimum, bathed and brushed your teeth. If you can catch yourself going into this negative thought process, you can start to turn it around right away.
Feeling secure in the way you look and smell can have a strong impact on the way you carry yourself and, especially, on how well-received you are. Also lay off of any type of stimulants like caffeine or sugar which can trigger or intensify the fight or flight response.


If you have someone’s attention and they are making eye contact or smiling, it’s okay to go and say hello. If you aren’t so great at positive self-talk, talk to a friend that can be your “cheerleader”. If the party is of a mutual friend, you can use that as a starting point in the conversation. If you are often complimented on your eyes, wear a shirt that matches them and makes them stand out. You want to walk away from the interaction knowing that their night is better because they spoke to you.



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