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COLUMBUS, OH – In a landmark effort to eradicate the centuries of misfortune and grief caused to Native Americans, the city formerly known as Columbus, Ohio has passed legislation to change its name to “Indigenous Peoples, Ohio.” Since its founding in 1812, the city has honored the explorer of the same name, who is credited with discovering North America. Inhabitants of the city, now known as Indigenous Persons, are overwhelmingly in favor of the change as well. At press time, students at Oberlin College had created a petition to change “Columbus Day” to “Michael Coleman Day” to honor his bravery in the fight for political correctness. Standoff Ends, Sit-In Begins — Waa-Mu Cast Dies of Dysentery — Math Professor Honestly Doesn't Even Know — Professor: Okay. However, it seems unlikely that any of these letters were as civilized as that from JD's senior attorney for trademarks, Christy Susman.

She signed off with "We wish you continued success with your writing." Say what you like about Jack's taste in whiskey, when it comes to supporting independent presses, he's clearly pretty smooth. No new substance is created during a physical change, although the matter takes a different form. However, Christopher Columbus’ true legacy is the genocide of the indigenous people and the start of countless atrocities committed against Native Americans. Homemaker Karen Wallace, who was born and raised in the neighborhood surrounding Ohio State University, feels it was long overdue.
So familiar, in fact, that Jack Daniel's sent his publisher Lazy Facist Press a cease-and-desist letter, asking him to change it.

This new name will usher in a new era of tolerance and diversity for the greatest city in Ohio.” Tribal leaders and politicians alike have commended him for his bold decision.

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