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First, let’s try to get past the realization that this product’s initials are “KKK,” which of course we can’t.
In an apparent attempt to create a lucrative synergy between sequined bras and seventysomething-year-old men, Victoria’s Secret commissioned Bob Dylan to record an exclusive CD for the store chain. Is there any possible word that more immediately conjures up images of fast-gaining muscle mass—of pure, absolute strength—than “pudding”? It takes a certain kind of person to think people wish to be buried in the equivalent of an airbrushed van with satin lining and a small pillow. Smosh is the home of the best funny videos, games, photos, memes, blogs and galleries online. If all that isn't enough, our friends are serving you free movies in HD for your viewing pleasure. Second, let’s also try to get past the impossible visual of anyone handing this card over to a cashier or even an ATM machine with anything resembling pride or a direct gaze. You start selling traditional Italian cuisine with names like “Hulkaroos” and “Hulk-U” and countless other dishes that sound like Drakes cakes or off-brand cereals smothered in marinara sauce. It takes a certain kind of performer to readily agree to have their face and autograph appear on something someone’s elderly relative is going to have to pass by to pay respects before asking what’s with all the demons on the lid. See the funniest YouTube videos, pictures and images online or chat with Smosh readers in our online forums.
And instead let’s concentrate on how this was a prepaid credit card aimed at kids that required a $100 activation fee, cost an additional $10 a month to use, came with a high fee for every time you did use it, and was eventually cancelled because it violated almost every consumer protection law imaginable, even those that usually have to do with poisoned medicine or exploding cars. A CD that came complete with all the Dylan tracks that have long been used by couples who have given up on romance or comprehensible lyrics. Then you open up a “Pastamania” restaurant in the Mall of America in the understandable belief that if people are willing to consume their weight in cinnamon pretzels between Gap stores then they will certainly want to eat food inspired by getting one’s head smashed into a floor mat repeatedly.

It takes a certain kind of person to pose next to their coffin while using it as a beer cooler.
Here are seven times the hero stayed the same, but the secret identity didn't! Captain America(source)Perpetual sidekick Bucky became Captain America after Steve Rogers was shot with a time bullet and thought dead (it was confusing). A CD that when prominently seen in Victoria’s Secret stores had customers put back the lace tops and camis and just buy some flannel pajamas, no longer able to comprehend the very notion of sex. Alas, “Pastamania” proved far less a craze than “Hulkamania,” and so Hogan closed up shop in a year to return to his first love, screaming. The point is, “Stallone Pudding” is available in a can, and there is no classier way possible to consume one’s nutrients. Previously, when Steve Rogers just quit being Cap for a bit, John Walker took the mantle before taking up the mantle of USAgent. Recently, Marvel announced that Sam Wilson, aka The Falcon, will take over the role of Captain America because Rogers has lost his powers and is now just an old man. When Bruce was sent spiraling back in time (which sounds shockingly familiar to what happened to Steve Rogers), Dick Grayson took up the Batman identity.
Valley then went crazy and started seriously hurting and even killing people, which meant Bruce had to come back and reclaim his role as Gotham's protector.
Also, Valley wore a goofy armored version of the Batman suit, so Bruce also had to come back to protect Batman's role as a fashion icon. The Flash(source)Already taking over for original Flash Jay Garrick in the mid '50s, Barry Allen was The Flash until the mid '80s when he ran himself to death. When Allen died, his sidekick Kid Flash, aka Wally West, dropped the Kid from his name and became just The Flash. At that point, West couldn't go back to calling himself "Kid Flash" — for one, he was too old, but also, Kid Flash sounds less like a super hero name and more like a felony. Iron Man(source)When Tony's alcoholism became too much for him, his buddy Rhodey stepped in as Iron Man.
While Rhodey is better known as War Machine, he actually started off as Tony's replacement.
This is basically what's happening to Captain America right now, except replace "alcoholism" with "old age".(There was also a point when Tony went crazy, and a teenage version of himself came forward in time to take over the role of Iron Man, but the story was confusing and weird, and eventually Marvel just pretended that it never happened.

Let's do the same.) Spawn(source)Most comic fans probably remember Spawn's alter ego to be Al Simmons, a deceased CIA Assassin who returned from the dead. Those people might be surprised to learn that these days, Spawn is actually some guy named, uh, Jim.
It's still unclear what happened to Al and why Jim is a Spawn, but if history has shown us anything, Al Simmons will be back behind the mask soon.
If anyone ever takes over as Spawn again, they're going to have a cool name, like Tony Z, or Bark. Spider-Man(source)Yes, there have been a few times when it wasn't Peter Parker under the Spider-Man mask.
There was a whole period of time when Parker thought that he was a clone, and that the original original Peter Parker had gone off to live his life under the name Ben Reilly. When the storyline proved unpopular, Parker was revealed to be the original and Reilly the clone.There was also another time when Dr. Doc Ock had control of Spider-man's body for about a year, and called himself the Superior Spider-Man. Parker eventually regained control of his body, but only after Ock made everyone think he was a jerk. While that series takes place in an alternate universe, there are rumors of Miles coming over to the regular Marvel Universe. Sounds like Peter Parker shouldn't make plans for too far in the future. Who's your favorite alternate super hero secret identity?

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