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Secret Garden Party is a festival for those who like to say goodbye to the yellow brick road, those who relish the journey, not the emerald city at the end.
Secret Garden Party’s emerald city wasn’t found at the end of the yellow brick road, instead it sat in the middle of the Great Lake – the centrepiece of the party – which came burning down on the last night.
Dance music was heralded by the Temple of Boom, a large space age barn that most of the time couldn’t hold its audience. The Beaded Space Pioneers journeyed back from the year 2017 to give us the weirdest and gravity defying games the universe has to offer at the Collosillyum. Festivals are known to be a place to loose yourself, your inhibitions and sometimes even your mind. This year’s Secret Garden Party may have been the biggest and most popular to date, but that didn’t detract from the whimsical andfantastical nature that it’s renowned for.
While all the music stages have their own redeeming features and are vastly more creative than the majority of festivals, East London collective Road To Nowhere’s Labyrinth had a special place in our hearts this year. While Secret Garden Party isn’t necessarily concerned with cramming as many big names into a lineup as possible, the eclectic rabble of headliners this year were definitely worth a watch. As well as the music and visual excitement, there were also some more relaxing activities to attend. If a member of the Royal Family is in attendance, especially one coined the ‘Party Prince’, then it has to make this list. Das Geheimnis steckt schon im Namen: Die Secret Garden Party ist namlich eigentlich gar kein Festival, sondern eine Party. Es gibt jedenfalls soviel tolle Dinge zu erleben, dass ihr nicht nur vor den Buhnen stehen solltet.
Mill Hill Field in Abbots Ripton was full of sights to behold, decorated with comedic artworks, glory-hole boxes for hugs, large art installations made from hay, plus many many more. Little Dragon, Public Enemy, Clean Bandit and Martha Reeves and the Vandella’s all brought the crowds to The Great Stage.
When Kidnap Kid took to the stage, everyone spilled out over the hills and far far away, dancing like there was no tomorrow.
As the party’s best kept secret, this hidden gem of a dancefloor was a magical yet eerie setting. It was here that Chase & Status played their secret special guest performance and also where we discovered the ET Phone Homo bar, with out of this world cabaret, Chewbacca in a bikini and dancing girls with more than just two breasts. However, the garden gave us the chance to find them again, by providing us with an exciting array of intriguing talks and debates from the rarest of renegade academics. Still managing to retain its appealing boutique feel with well over 20,000 revelers in attendanceis no mean feat, but we’re happy to say they pulled it off.
Every year no expense is spared in order to bring life tocountless visual treats for Gardeners to see, touch and interact with.From bronze statues hanging in trees to hammocks made entirely ofcling film, the bar was raised high. Hidden in the forest and containing a secret Speakeasy, a glitter station, and sets from the likes of Ben Pearce and Richy Ahmed, if you managed to find it then you’ll understand. We managed to bag a prime viewing spot by the lake to witness a fireworks display that would make even New Year’s Eve jealous.


There aren’t many other festivals where you can see Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, Public Enemy and Fat Freddy’s Drop in one place, but they were all pretty great. Hidden behind the door of a seemingly normal portaloo, if you were lucky enough to choose it then you were greeted by a large field of tall sunflowers as well as a ball pit and DJ booth.
While a few members of our group were convinced they saw Harry at the time, we put it down to too much glitter in their eyes. Hier seid ihr nicht nur einfach Zuschauer, sondern aktiver Teil einer gro?en Gemeinschaft frohlich kostumierter Menschen. Lauft herum, entdeckt die versteckten Geheimgange des Festivals und fuhlt euch ein paar Tage wieder wie ein gluckliches Kind.Und mit ein bisschen Gluck nehmt ihr nicht nur die beste Party des Jahres 2015 mit nach Hause, sondern auch KEIN Herpes.
This year’s party was a kaleidoscope of entertainment, with almost too much to choose from. Take the Orgasmatree for example, artist Thomas Sale provided us a place to reflect and find shelter from festival life (and the sweltering heat) during the day, but at night, the playful installation became a social spot for gardeners to congregate. Public Enemy’s headline performance on Saturday night took us back to the 80’s and the spectacular fireworks display was the cherry on top of a retro-tastic night. Tucked away in the corner of the lake stood The Pagoda Stage – a place to dance to some of the finest DJ’s around while stomping your feet inches above the water.
Only here would you find the musical delights of Maxxi Soundsystem, a photo-booth for those ultimate festival selfies and the best place to play hide and seek. The voguing, dance routines and of course the drag queens, all brought an intergalactic feeling to the term gay bar. The Forum hosted talks and workshops such as The Misfits’ Create Your Own Pop-Up Cult, Charlie Morley’s How Lucid Dreaming Can Change The World and Danny Kushlick’s What Will The World Look Like When We Legalise Drugs. Many went to bathe under the sky, including a certain Prince Harry you might know, and spent two blissful hours relaxing in luxury hot tubs. Wonderland was there to check out one of the worst kept secrets this year, and here are the things we enjoyed the most.
However this year’s star was undoubtedly the floating Emerald City, which was the subject of the annual Big Burn on closing night. Also joining in the fun were glitter cannons, holographic displays, aerial acrobats and skywriters, along with an impressive ticket drop to finish it off.
There was also a super secret afterparty there once everything else had closed, which we were very glad to have stumbled upon. Eure britischen Pfund gebt ihr auch nicht fur Merchandise oder Fast Food in Ketten aus, sondern fur dieses seltene Gefuhl aus, auf ein echtes Abenteuer zu gehen und etwas komplett Verrucktes zu erleben.Dieses Jahr ist das Motto "Childish Things", also packt eure Spielzeugkiste aus und fuhlt euch wieder wie das Kind, das ihr im Alltag zu oft verliert.
Happy Days!Die Secret Garden Party ist auch 2015 wieder komplett ausverkauft. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!", schreit es da in eurem Kopf, aber nicht traurig sein, denn wir nehmen euch mit! Emerging talent was presented at the Where The Wild Things Are, the stage that in years past gave us the likes of Florence & The Machine, The XX and Lykke Li, so if history is to repeat itself take note of acts such as Mausi, Kate Boy and Beech. For lovers of Science, the Guerila Science tent taught us that riotous rebellion is something to be championed.
The affordable experience began with a glass of sparkling wine and ended with either a Finnish sauna or extra hot shower, and of course in true Secret Garden style, no swimwear or clothes were allowed.


Mausi, an electronic pop group had the crowd moving and shaking in front of the wooden vine clad stage, so much so that everyone who walked by, us included, had to stop and join in the party.
Williams, Richy Ahmed and Citizen dropped were pumping and had many a passer by head-bopping along. The other wooded bash happened in the Artful Badger Woods, set in the darkest corner of the garden.
Zoe Cormier’s Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll talk drew in the crowds, learning about the hedonism of science and the science of hedonism. For those who weren’t into some R&R in a hot tub, jumping into the lake was the other alternative.
Hosted by the Horned God of nature, Pan and his minion the Badger Shaman, we danced to electro disco funk, swing and psychedelic grooves. It was here that we were shown proof that the vagina really is a force to be reckoned with. Set in a natural hollow, DJ’s such as Waifs & Strays, Route 94, Ben Pearce and Skream set the beats and had us dancing till sunrise, stumbling back to camp just as the rest of the festivalgoers woke for breakfast. It was here, nestled between the trees, that we discovered the Green Fairy and her delicious Pernod Absinthe Bar. Denn dann wird die wunderschone Grasflache in Abbot Ripton (ein kleines Dorf nordlich von London) - inklusive See - zum Mekka fur alle gro?en Kinder aus der ganzen Welt. Mittlerweile kommen uber 25.000 „Gartner“ (fachterminologisch korrekte Bezeichnung fur „Festivalbesucher der Secret Garden Party“) alljahrlich vorbei, um sich selbst, ihre Freunde und den Garten in eine pulsierende, moderne, lebendige Kunstausstellung zu verwandeln.
Auch wenn es gar nicht der Hauptgrund fur die Secret Garden Party ist: Das Line Up ist ebenfalls richtig stark. Die sind jetzt allesamt keine Headliner fur das Glastonbury (vollig zu Unrecht), aber fur uns Musiknerds auch alles andere als unbekannt.
Die spielen schon gegen Mittag auf der Buhne 2.Auf zehn Buhnen gibt es also immer gute und, vor allem, neue Musik. Es gibt spa?ige Wasserrutschen aus Plastiktuten, Ziegen-Verkleiden, eine eigenen Kuss-Schule oder Hobby-DJ-Tanzveranstaltungen (Psssst, Secret Raves im Wald). Ein Highlight ist jedes Jahr das Collo-silly-um, in dem ihr euren besten Kumpel im Schlammwrestling blamieren konnt.
Dort konnt ihr auch gleich eure Fu?e abkuhlen, nachdem ihr uber hei?e Kohlen stolziert seid. Am einfachsten ist es aber wohl gleich beim Weitflugwettbewerb mit dem selbstgebauten Fluggerat im See zu verschwinden.Wer ein wenig in die Zukunft sehen mag, der packt abschlie?end seinen sexy Arsch auf einen Kopierer und bekommt anhand des Bildes knallhart die kommenden Jahre prophezeit - Arschtrologie!



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