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The Football Ramble is one of the UK’s most-loved football podcasts and releases a new show every Tuesday. When the new CD Palencia’s kit nosed its way rudely into your consciousness this morning, were you also put in mind of the conversation Nigel Tufnel had with Marty DiBergi in infamous rockumentary Spinal Tap? Given the confusion expressed by footballers over the simplest of tasks in recent history, one imagines this conversation may actually happen in real life when the away kit is wheeled out.
There are few who like his style, but even Rafa Benitez will be forced to acknowledge the tenacity of the man who has come to embody the traits of the survival specialist in modern football.
When Sunderland beat Norwich City back in April, Luke and I produced an article for the New Day in which we discussed the rising importance of the Survival Specialist in the freshly minted world of football. With ?5.4 billion winging its way towards the back pockets of the twenty most fortunate clubs in the world, the ante has risen for those that can generally be found hovering in and around the relegation places after Christmas.
What if, over the next few seasons, the fear of losing out on all that cash begins to hit home? A big shout, for sure, but nothing Sunderland have done in the last month has dissuaded us from the notion.
Eddie Izzard there, capturing the full horror of growing up in the 80s when The Sun was the most popular newspaper in the land and narrow minded, paranoid idiocy roamed freely. Suspicions were first aroused on 8th July 2014 when Die Mannschaft (snigger) turned Brazil into an international laughing stock using just 90 minutes of football and David Luiz.
And there you were thinking that not having enough Championship winners medals to ensure the club’s Player of the Year gets one is the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen in front of the general public.
It’s the time of year when social conventions are abandoned in favour of assaulting pensioners with champagne and excessively manscaped men who wear shorts to work dragging their surgically optimised partners and mini-mes onto the pitch to wave at fans. Their parade on Saturday night, coming after an embarrassingly easy stroll over Everton, raised some interesting questions. In twenty years, will we see Max or Isabella Schmeichel lifting whatever version of the top league title is available at the time? And how many years will Sofia Vardy resent her parents for making her wear a tutu for arguably the biggest moment in their family lives?
Manchester City fans are a little more conversant with end of season festivities, clearing out well before the toddlers (none of whom looked as petulant as Samir Nasri) were unleashed.
Not only did they miss Manuel Pellegrini’s final speech as manager (for which they have received criticism, it should be noted) but also the sight of Kevin De Bruyne carting the recently emerged Mason across the Etihad pitch.
In Spain, Barcelona kept Real Madrid at bay with a 5-0 thumping of neighbours Espanyol, but Atletico’s hopes of snatching a league and European Cup double from under the considerable noses of the competition were destroyed by a last minute goal from a man once trampled by a bull.
Both men had been sent off after needling each other throughout the game, but Pittsburgh Riverhounds striker Parkes felt further punishment and a full on fight was necessary to redress the balance. On the plus side, he’ll have a lovely tale to tell his kids when he gets out of custody. According to L’Equipe, former Hull City loanee and carrier of timber Hatem Ben Arfa is heading to Barcelona on a free transfer. While Ben Arfa’s career in England ended ignominiously (mostly to shouts of Fatem Ben Arfa), the former Newcastle Hall of Famer has gone some way to rebuilding his reputation with Nice, scoring 17 goals in 32 appearances.
But this is nothing next to the hope this story gives to other 29 year old forward thinking players stalked by weight issues and fan antipathy. George Orwell probably spent ages writing The Sporting Spirit; an essay outlining how sport and nationalism are inextricably linked. If you weren’t able to pick up tickets for any of our live shows back in April, the good news is we can now bring you a compilation of the best bits from Newcastle and London to download! The last time we got this excited about the events unfolding in a footballer’s kitchen, Wayne Rooney ended up getting punched in the face. Looking back, I doubt we imagined so much football related fun would ever be seen again on a polished marble surface, but after Chelsea gleefully fulfilled their remit of ruining Spurs’ lives, we were treated to footage of the Leicester City squad celebrating their incredible title win using the now traditional blurry shouty bounce.
While in no way wishing to appropriate the joy and hysteria Leicester City fans are currently revelling in and are thoroughly entitled to bleed dry, this feels like a victory for everyone. Of course Spurs are gutted and their increasingly petulant behaviour as they watched their opportunity for glory slip away in the most agonising way possible (Chelsea, 2-0 up, Hazard the troll bursting forth with an absolute screamer) was disappointing but understandable and they’ll get over it and go again next season. It’s being reported that Harry Redknapp will be working as a consultant for A-League side Central Coast Mariners next season. Let’s hope he’s being sufficiently remunerated to cover those additional insurance costs! For a dull game with four shots on target, no goals and a Real Madrid side confined to a disciplined defensive strategy, this stage setting game wasn’t half bad when you could see it. Unfortunately, at least one camera operator took their remit of Cristiano reaction shots from the bench a little too seriously and we ended up staring at him while other, more important stuff was unfolding a few feet away.
With Pepe and Sergio Ramos confined to their own half (at least in principle) attacking duties were ostensibly left to Gareth Bale and Karim Benzema. It’s nice to think that as we sit here, that ball is still travelling around our planet, possibly alongside the one sent into the stratosphere by Sergio Ramos four short years ago. Benzema will be probably be joining them if Zinedine Zidane’s tailor ever finishes that pair of unbustable trousers and it would be no big loss.
The success or failure of Real Madrid’s season essentially rests on whether Cristiano Ronaldo will be conducting proceedings from the dugout or the pitch. Extensive research has revealed that there are few things more satisfying in life than seeing a grown-up fall over. Congratulations to Paul Pogba, who selflessly took to his backside during Juve’s title celebrations to prove this very point. Looking back at it now, I’m almost grateful that they had no way of knowing another 27 years of agony faced them. I feel broken inside that they had to wait that long, my faith in the press and police burned out by continued revelations of cover ups and lies.
Imagine if The Hillsborough Family Support Group and other campaigners, who are more justified than any one of us to curl up into a ball and pity party the night away, had accepted what they had been told.
He spent his 25 year football career keeping goal for the likes of Boca Juniors, Independiente and the Colombian national team.

He’s here because I just had a conversation about him with a chap called Augusto on Twitter, who pointed out that in this photo, Carlos is wearing a shirt with a picture of a man driving a truck on it. The best, most creative players on paper might not necessarily turn up and play beautiful, successful football (see Chelsea). If creative attacking football is abandoned in favour of a more cautious, defensive approach? Fifty years on from England’s 4-2 victory over West Germany in a major international tournament final, is anyone else worried they’re building up to something? In fact no one seemed to be particularly bothered at all when the interloper emerged and ran towards the centre circle.
One or two even suggested that Redders sole intention when he gave the interview was to get it discussed on the Football Ramble. In years to come, we will look back on this as we will the careers of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, marvelling at how fortunate we were to see football history unfolding before our very eyes. Knowing that your loved one is dead and hearing authorities absolve themselves of responsibility by spreading rumours of fan unrest and misbehaviour, essentially implying that if they’d just behaved themselves, none of this unpleasantness would have happened.
They’ve met every attempt to discredit them, distort their truth and smear their claims with dignity, unity and strength.
Instead of picking individuals known for skill on the ball and mercurial talent, managers begin to pick well drilled, but lesser known players who fit within a structure? Instead of bringing play to a shuddering halt and getting chased around the pitch by a battalion of incompetent stewards, as was the intention, he instead had to watch Besiktas break down the left and Mario Gomez scored a tap in.
Next year, next month, maybe even next week that goodwill will be suspended and they will be the team to beat, the King Power the place to go and get a win.
They knew they were right, that their husbands, wives, daughters, sons, cousins, friends and neighbours had died unjustly and would not accept anything other than full disclosure of the details, which they knew would eventually liberate them. The voice of the commentator drifting in and out as ambulance sirens appropriated the frequency with their own anguished wails. But I know enough about chemistry to know that a chemical by itself may be poisonous but not poisonous when in a compound with other chemicals.
But you should be aware that the story of Chicken Little is notA  a "fable character." While he did say "The sky is falling" quite a bit, this was only because he had difficulty making contact the his agent provocateur whose actual physical appearance had changed over the years. The video faculty includes Eric Hulsizer, a former Channel 8 cameramanA who photographed "Channel 8 On Your Side," and Lisa Inserra of Cox Media (the company that owns Valpack) who is active in producing television commercials for her company's»? In my program, I've studied drawing, camera operation, scripting, digital imaging, programming basics, copyright law, video editing, website design, sound production and editing.
One of myA professors says the program is the best of its kind in the Tampa Bay area and I think he's»?i»? Please, please, put the word out to others so that this fine program will be better known. It doesn't matter what your heritage is or whether you are still in high school or old enough for Medicare.
Petersburg Collede digital arts program is filled with both talented professors and students. In your story on stadium horns, you called them vuvuzwelas, what is that funny looking symbol after the photo credits. The image can be used freely, subject to some restrictive terms in the license, including crediting the photographer. It looks to me like he called on Curtis LeMay, Colonel Clearwater - and then realizing he had made a mistake - schluffed it into Colonel Kilgore.
Here's a photo of American school children using the original Bellamy salute:A I think the photo speaks for itself.
Colonel Clearwater Dear Colonel Clearwater: What do you think about the Egyptian revolution? Fundamentalists, in any religion, are usually a reaction to what the followers perceive as injustice. This doesn't mean Egyptian society and culture will necessarily change; it is still their culture and values. But in the long run any thing they make of it will be for their benefit (and not the benefit of the United States). Not by rampeling down the side of the building like Tom Cruise, but by sliding in with a tourist visa when it was not open to tourists.
Clearwater: Republicans are betting that your readers don't care - that after all you did to beat them in 2006 and 2008, you're going to sit this one out. So they're whipping up their base by blocking help to unemployed workers, blocking summer jobs for teens, apologizing to the big companies that gave us the spill in the Gulf, and doing anything else they can do to stop progress. Yes, that Rand Paul, who says freedom means a private business can discriminate against African-Americans, and that President Obama holding polluters accountable for the mess in the Gulf is "un-American." And he's not alone. One candidate calls Social Security "horrible policy," while another has said that Americans will turn to "Second Amendment remedies" against Democrats. In New Hampshire, Paul Hodes is running neck-and-neck with his Republican opponent to take this seat for the Democrats. We've just started to turn our country around, passing healthcare reform, working to hold the big banks accountable for the Wall Street meltdown, pushing legislation to address climate change and end our addiction to oil. The GOP is betting big that saying "no" and blocking progress is a path to success in November.What bet will you make? I think the Republicans should adopt as their emblem the condom because it more clearly reflects the party's political stance.
A condom stands for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others. Colonel ClearwaterDear Colonel Clearwater, Last week, my friend and colleague, Congressman Anthony Weiner, did something very good, and very gutsy. Weiner's report showed that this firm, which sells gold coins, rips off its customers while benefiting directly from Beck's Chicken Little lunacy about the economy.
Every time Beck screams that there is an impending Obama-led government takeover of the economy and your savings aren't safe, he's making a sales pitch for this sleazy advertiser.
You see, Beck's ratings have recently crashed, and most of his reputable advertisers have deserted him.
Now that he's been exposed, Beck has spent the last week using his big media platform to attack and undermine Weiner - he even set up an attack website designed to damage Weiner's political standing.

This collusion between big media, conservative commentators, and quack economics is a scam, but it is powerful if it remains unopposed. And we need to support people like Weiner, who have the guts to go after right-wing lunacy at the source. Consider his statement: "I beg you, look for the words 'social justice' or 'economic justice' on your church Web site.
That oil disaster must be stopped, and a way must be found."I am not the original author of that sensible thought, but it has been my favorite definition of faith for a while. While we have no way of certainty for moving past them, working to find a pathway that takes us beyond our doubts is the best option in my view. Then how come Congress starts each session with a prayer and the president is sworn in on a Bible? Wants to KnowDear Wants to Know, As I said in an earlier reply, our countrys laws and structure are not based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments, as Sarah Palin and others claim. So most of us do not work on Sunday and some businesses are not open for business on Sunday. So we have a religious custom of not working on Sunday and a secular custom of watching football on Sunday.
The Constitution states that the president must take an oath, but it does not mention anything about a Bible. Colonel ClearwaterDear Colonel Clearwater, I understand you answer, but you say customs and traditions. Wants to Know MoreDear Wants to Know More, It is important to realize the difference between a custom and a tradition. It is a custom at my house that every year we watch football on Thanksgiving Day after we eat. A tradition is a ceremony invented for the purpose of commemorating some historical event or to develop a sense of binding in a community or religious group.
Thanksgiving Day is a tradition in America that serves the purpose of reminding us of what we have from God for which to be thankful and is loosely based on the first harvest feast of the Pilgrims to celebrate their first year of survival in the New World. It is a tradition; a ceremony we use to create a common bond among Americans by commemorating our heritage.
When Congress meets, the first thing that happens is that the designated speaker calls the group together.
Colonel ClearwaterDear Colonel Clearwater, I have just seen a video about an organization called the Council on Foreign Relations. This organization has members who were past Presidents and past Secretary of States of the United States, plus leaders in the fields of finance, industry, and other important positions in society. The spokesman on the video has concluded that this organization must be a part of world conspiracy to take over the world and put the entire world under a one-world socialist government and I agree with him. The Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) is an organization of foreign policy experts, people concerned with international trade, prominent historians and writers, as well as others who are involved with foreign policy and international affairs.
The CFR hold speaking events with question-and-answer periods which are usually televised on CSpan or other cable stations. The speakers are usually world leaders, historians, writers, or others involved in international affairs.
Some of the speakers have included such figures as Nelson Mandela, George Soros, Thomas Friedman, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Ronald Reagan.
The journal, which I have subscribed to and read for over 25 years (plus you can buy it at the newsstands in Borders or Barnes and Noble) provides a forum for contrasting views and opinions regarding issues affecting foreign policy. Some people have made a nice living scarring others with conspiracy theories about the CFR. My advice to you is to go to the store, buy and read their journal, watch their events on CSpan, and be wary of people who wish to sell you on the idea that other people are out to get you.
Colonel Clearwater________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Dear Colonel Clearwater: Cancel my subscription to your liberal rage. And no matter how great the obstacles may seem, we must never stop our efforts to reduce the weapons of war. We must never stop at all until we see the day when nuclear arms have been banished from the face of this earth." Ronald Wilson Reagan, 1984 Colonel ClearwaterDear Colonel Clearwater: Liberals? I realize that there is collateral damage in war, but this is no less than cold-blooded genocide. They were shooting at insurgents who, upon later investigation, turned out to be civilians. By saying the soldiers were shooting civilans implies that they knew they were shooting civiliansj. The real guilty party are those who convinced the American public that this war was necessary and just.
Can you tell me how the "Smallest of the World's Leading Newspapers" managed to scoop "Florida's Best Newspaper?" Pedro TechadorDear Pedro, Always nice to hear from one of the Techadors.This was a WikiLeak scoop. Palin:Your statement reminds me of what Republican Congressman, Devin Nunes said during the health care vote. And now you are bringing the ghosts back into this chamber." There is no polite way to get around this. Tea Party Patriots are morons when it comes to history, economics, and how to run a society. Much like the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan after World War I, the Tea Party Patriots are people who believe they have lost their privileged status in American society and wish to thwart others hopes for the American dream. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on which editor yells loudest) President Obama considers Wall Street, the banks, the Republicans in congress, and those with tea party policies as necessary players in the solution when they are, in fact, part of the problem.
Both the Senior Citizens' Right to Work Act and the Family Medical Leave Act were passed this way.

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