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I avoided Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret for a long time, until I saw it on Netflix streaming. When the video director finished, the footage had been spliced into approximately 90 billion frames, each lasting less than an eight of a second. For instance, one elderly gentleman wearing a necktie that I really liked had a golden key spinning in the air just over his left ear. PS: I am putting it out into The Universe, which is what I call Facebook, that you like this post.
Let it be said that I never expected to see that dame of dames, the Milanese Nightingale Bianca Castafiore bleating her shrill soprano Jewel Song on a mammoth IMAX screen. It all opens with a charming animated title sequence that lovingly reproduces some of Tintin’s greatest moments in print. It’s bright and joyous and everything you could want from a wide-eyed adventure film. Tintin and Snowy share the kind of dynamic Charlie Brown has longed to cultivate with his own dog. Restricted to live action, Spielberg simply couldn’t have imbued the film with the cartoon logic and suspension of disbelief required for many sequences and jokes to work as they do.
Tob Jones offers another standout performance as a meek and troubled pick-pocket called Silk.
I don’t have too much much experience with the Tintin comic, but I loved loved LOVED the cartoon series that they used to show here on Nick. I had plans to see this tonight with the one friend of mine who has ever heard of Tintin, but the the theater we wanted to go to was ONLY showing it in 3D, which I hate. I really, really, really want to see this movie, but with a newborn in the household, going to the movies is not really on the plate. Myown experience of Tintin goes back to around the age of 6 or 7 as it was the only real graphic type book you could get from the library (along with Asterix), so I entered the movie with some trepidation particularly as I’d have to agree this style of moviemaking has never worked. Harry Hart (Colin Firth) is a member of the Kingsman, an urbane and virtuous spy outfit operating out of a Savile Row tailors. Matthew Vaughn seems to be cinematic Marmite, dividing the film-going public into two camps. Particular praise must be given to the adrenaline-fuelled action beats that litter the film. Sheer pleasure is the definite modus operandi here, injecting barrels of fun into a concept that could so easily have just been a run of the mill Hollywood bunkum. Much of this entertainment value is down to a roster of excellent performances, with the entire cast embracing the lunacy with wild abandon. Kingsman is a rollicking thrill ride – light-hearted, fast paced and incredibly funny. To book tickets to see Kingsman: The Secret Service at York City Screen Picturehouse, go here. That person refilmed some of the frames, shortened others that were lagging, and then rolled the camera down a hill. Of all the things to inspire true fanboy awe, this is surely one of the strangest and most unexpected spectacles to unhinge a human jaw. We follow silhouettes of the young adventurer and his faithful dog Snowy through chases and even a brawl or two.
Technically he’s addressing his dog, but even that explanation wares a little thin after a while. It’s that whole uncanny valley thing that makes Asian pleasure robots so horrendously chilling.
Abrams’ Super 8, The Secret of the Unicorn is a sprawling and wondrous film, rife with madcap action and downright silly pratfalls.


One of my favourite movies this year; although, the three times in 2D were far superior to the one in 3D. But if it’s anything like my IMAX screening, you can ditch the glasses if you find yourself uncomfortable with it. Some find his brand of sharp, stylised, often ultra-violent work to be fun, witty and just the right side of irreverent, while the others accuse him of being over-indulgent, succumbing to laddish fantasy and lacking heart or finesse. I say luckily for me because Kingsman is the most Matthew Vaughn film Matthew Vaughn has ever made. Favouring long takes and a kinetic camera rather than the nauseating and choppy edits that seem to be the norm in Hollywood these days, Kingsman features some of the most inventive action I’ve seen in a long time.
Indeed, Vaughn and co-writer Jane Goldman (who also worked on Kick Ass and Stardust) clearly love the spy genre and litter the movie with tons of neat references. Firth is the big winner here, clearly having the time of his life – relishing the opportunity to occupy a Bond-like role he sadly missed out on in younger days.
The first half could be accused of being formulaic, grinding gears and positioning characters before the main plot kicks in, but even at its lowest ebb it never once dips into boring territory. Although much of the adult humour and violence won’t be everybody’s cup of tea, for fans of this kind of thing you’d be hard-pressed to find a more entertaining and uncompromisingly idiosyncratic film this year. They each had a little totem floating by their head symbolizing something too profound for me.
I couldn’t resist, which I suspect is because someone was manifesting their desire for me to listen to the man with the golden key over his shoulder while I drove to and from work for four days. Then last night, I could have sworn I heard the music from the Secret coming out of my roommate’s room. All those spinning, exploding keys can’t make it easy to absorb the specifics of the message.
We simply can’t sit around with positive thoughts and expect the world to improve without doing something to make it better. The typography used in this segment will be instantly recognizable to anyone who’s ever browsed Tintin book covers. And like Snoopy, this tenacious terrier is secretly the most courageous and intelligent member of his ensemble, typically a step or two ahead of even his capable pet journalist.
Still, the film rarely permits boredom to rear its ugly head, as those 107 minutes are jam-packed with one insane action set piece after another. You may have to make some allowances for Haddock’s tendency to solve plot problems with liquor induced delusions and moments of clarity, but the screenwriters do well to establish that the character has a very special relationship with alcohol. While Eggsy is put through his espionage paces, lisping nutcase Richmond Valentine (Samuel L Jackson) sets into motion plans to take over the world with mobile phone SIM cards and it’s up to the Kingsmen to stop him.
It’s an audacious and wildly entertaining rollercoaster ride, distinctly and unashamedly British and featuring some of the loopiest visuals ever committed to such a high profile blockbuster. From the subtle (the Kingsmen all sporting dapper Harry Palmer specs), to the not so subtle (Firth and Jackson engaging in a meta conversation about their favourite Bond films), it’s a treasure trove of spy tropes.
Elsewhere, the otherwise sharp script comes undone with some muddled class system satire that could have benefited from a bit of a polish.
No, she went rogue and was performing unnecessary surgeries on the hobos that tramped through her garden. We ricochet off each and follow new pathways that maybe we weren’t intending to because we just got pinged.
But if you can stick with the 3D, you’ll be treated to some truly astonishing visuals from the word go.
Tintin does a lot of deduction in the first act, and it’s a relief when he finally adds some human companions to his party.
Dog lovers will be taken with Snowy unflinching loyalty and affection for Tintin as he races snoutlong into danger and solves the occasional riddle.


We also might not accept his level of guile and comprehension unless his fellow cast is just as heightened to cartoon exaggeration.
The first act consists mainly of shadowy intrigue, but eventually Tintin hits the high seas.
I’m not a proponent for 3D in most cases either, but I do tend to enjoy it in animated films. And of course, as ever with all Vaughn’s films, there are the usual excesses and a definite lack of subtlety.
That sorted, we join him at an open air market, posing for a caricaturist who looks an awful lot like a particular Belgian cartoonist. The monologuing is a minor concern though, so don’t misconstrue the note as diatribe against Tintin and Snowy as a duo on their own.
There’s a moment when Haddock and Snowy are lowering themselves into the water in a lifeboat to escape a hostile ship.
And though I was initially disappointed when Love Actually’s Thomas Sangster had to drop out of his role as Tintin, Jamie Bell does Herge proud. Elsewhere, top support comes from the always wonderful Mark Strong as the Kingsman’s equivalent of Q, and Sophie Cookson as Roxy, Eggsy’s primary rival for the spy role and a refreshingly well-rounded female character in an otherwise male dominated genre. But these are minor gripes and aren’t sufficient to sully what is an otherwise sharp and funny film. Then someone knowing, I suspect, relatively little about quantum physics, would make a point using the term quantum physics. Dig around enough and you may even find photographic record of my attempts to mimic Tintin’s signature swoop, if not that same ginger hue. Soon, he finds himself haggling over a seemingly ordinary though highly sought-after model ship. By that tack, shouldn’t this project, bustling as it is with rotoscoped human characters, be closer to the less favorable Polar Express end of the spectrum?
Alternatively, full-on animation probably wouldn’t inspire the same kind of gravity provided by such lifelike movement, dramatic lighting, and photo-real textures.
The franchise has made the leap to live action and animation before, but there’s still something joyously absurd about seeing these characters on the big screen with these kinds of names and technologies attached. It’s this little antique that leads our hero into a perilous chase and the audience into a wildly entertaining ride. As it turns out, Spielberg, Jackson and their talented team make a good case for the technique. We believe that Tintin can do what he does with a single bullet, and though he may not be as charismatic as Harrison Ford, he’s a charming and dauntless hero.
I say all this only to reflect on the pleasures of adaptation and sharing a favorite thing with a wider audience.
It’s one of the many reasons this filmmaking style really gels with the demands of the source material.
It’s not that the source demands a bigger format, because those books work perfectly fine as they are and I still cherish those big floppy paperbacks. But they also strike a tone quite appropriate to the source material made possible only through this animation hybrid.



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