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Studies show that high self-esteem is the #1 ingredient essential for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, and overall success in life.
This initial stressful incident is the first real realization that the child is not perfect and fails to measure up to society’s standards in some important way. The first assault could be an unkind word from a peer or authority figure, a spanking, an insult, an argument, a bullying or name calling episode.
The second type of self-esteem diminishing episode can be as a result of the child misinterpreting someone’s words or actions to mean that the child is flawed, unlovable, or defective in some way.
Daily, there are hundreds of opportunities for a child to misinterpret life in a way that tarnishes their self-image over the long term. What the child made up was that if he had only been a better boy and did a better job cleaning his room, or picking up his toys, mom and dad wouldn’t have fought so much and would still be together.
Another example of this faulty reasoning might be an episode where the parents drop off a child for a week with a relative. The child makes up that his parents don’t love him and that people want to get rid of him. The process of diminished self-esteem does not stop at such an initial decision regarding the child’s value. During such potentially upsetting events, the child reinforces this idea of unworthiness by further interpreting life events to prove the fact that she is defective. Before long, there is no doubt in the person’s mind that there is something wrong with them. Parents can do much to support their children to feel good about themselves and to champion their child’s self-image.
They can be a source of unconditional love, supporting the child at every opportunity and encouraging them to see themselves as worthy of affection, abundance, love, and trust. Parents can speak respectfully to their children, reassuring them of their competence, capability, and inherent value. They can give them responsibilities that nurture their self-confidence and belief in their abilities. Parents can consistently acknowledge their children for worthwhile qualities they see in them. Rather than focusing on their weakness and faults, they can empower their strengths and communicate that everyone has unique talents and gifts that make them special.
This includes being effective in our relationships and in our communication with others with an appreciation for what it is like in the world of other people.
It would serve parents to commit to themselves being perpetual students of personal development, knowing that their children will model their actions and their approach to life. It is with such an energy of respect, love, and acceptance that children will receive the tools they’ll need to grow into self-actualized, happy, and self-assured adults possessing high self-esteem. When kids feel good about themselves, they are willing to take more risks academically and socially.
When we serve others, we gain confidence in ourselves, along with a strong sense of self-satisfaction that comes from helping other people.
To children enduring difficult situations, lengths of time that may seem brief to adults seem interminable to children.
Friends are key to self-esteem, and parents and educators are in a perfect position to help children find friends. As gifted children pursue more and more difficult content in the academic arena, their intuition becomes more important, not less. As parents, we may not recognize how something that looks like trash to us could be so important to our children.


Notes in lunchboxes, texts during the evening, sticky notes on mirrors and other written expressions of love and appreciation help kids feel valued and special. In the life of every child, usually sometime between birth and age 6, something happens to have the child doubt him or herself.
It could occur as a direct result of something the child said or did that provoked an attack on his or her sense of worthiness or ability to fit in. Perhaps they feel they need a vacation or might need to tend to some business matter and decide that it would be easier for the child to be minded by a sitter. With this sort of tendency toward faulty interpretation, there are literally thousands of opportunities for the child to attach a meaning to the situation that begins the process of eroding self-esteem.
The child, armed with the belief that she is not good enough, now scans for additional situations that may serve as more evidence to reinforce this initial thought of being flawed. After years of accumulating such evidence, their self-image deteriorates further with every episode.
After all, they have created a self-fulfilling prophesy to cement this belief firmly in their self-perception. They can continually reinforce the concept that no one is perfect and all one can do is their best. They can make sure that the child understands that they, as parents, might not always agree with the child’s behavior.
Children need to realize that even when they make mistakes and parents do not approve of their behavior, this does not affect their love for them or their sense of value.
They can empower them to make their own choices whenever possible, fostering their belief in their own ability to make wise decisions and learn from any mistakes. Whether that looks like making their bed, helping with household chores, or selecting their favorite juice at the grocery store, each can serve as an opportunity for the child to grow in self-confidence. They can get into the habit of finding something good about them every day and pointing it out. They can support children to identify their passions and pursue their special interests and develop their gifts. They can support them to imagine what it is like in another person’s world so they can better understand why people do the things they do. When children realize that no one else can make them angry, sad or afraid, only they themselves can, they learn to not be reactive and easily provoked by others’ issues. They can teach them the value of cleaning up any mistakes by speaking and acting responsibly. It means that we can better understand why others do hurtful things at times and separate out that they do them rather than interpreting that they do them TO us. They can teach them that the world is an endless source of abundance for those who believe in themselves and their ability to attract good things. They can also teach them to play full out for what they want, committed to their goals with a vision of success without being attached to any result. It is important to distinguish between fostering high self-esteem in children, as opposed to creating ego-maniacs obsessed with themselves at the expense of others. Those who care only about themselves with no concern for others do not, by my definition, possess high self-esteem.
For gifted kids, this is particularly important because if they don’t take risks academically, they tend to feel bored and dissatisfied.
It not only increases our sense of gratitude and well-being, but feeling useful is the best self-esteem booster of all. Parents and educators can help children understand their true worth when they help them complete the statement, “I was proud of myself when I _____.” The answer should be something concrete and not just a feeling, as well as outwardly focused and not just benefiting themselves.


To 8-year-old kids, a school year is about 10 percent of their lives, so saying it will be better next year is like asking adults to wait for four or five years for a situation to improve.
Allowing a child to get a pet and then doing all of the work yourself will have the opposite effect, so ensure your child is ready.
If gifted children develop the idea that if they are smart and everything will come easy to them, they will be more likely to quit when something is difficult. They will be expected to choose among a selection of good answers, one of which is “best.” This is where intuition becomes key. However, by showing kids that we also value the object as a reminder of an achievement can build self-concept.
Helping children recognize their own true value and how to develop skills will go a long way toward raising children with enough self-esteem to feel good about their place in their schools, their families and their social networks.
Someone says or does something that has the child believe that he or she is flawed, unlovable, not worthy, imperfect.
The child mistakenly made up that there was something wrong with him or her as a result of what was said or done. No matter what mistakes the child makes, he or she must realize that they are always inherently good, lovable, and worthy. Children will benefit from knowing that they are loved for who they are, not just what they do. Parents can support their children to see what might be missing for them to be more effective with other people or in accomplishing their goals. They can also teach them to forgive others, knowing that they are doing the best they can based upon how they see the world.
High overall self-esteem means being competent and capable of producing results in every area of life.
He is known for his groundbreaking work in personal and leadership development, building effective teams, enhancing listening and communication skills, life and business coaching and optimal life planning.
Kids whose parents guide them in finding appropriate ways to serve are more likely to develop a habit of service that will benefit them for decades to come. Remember that gifted children may be most comfortable with children older or younger than themselves. Believing that they are pretty good at doing a number of things is a key element of self-esteem, so it is important for kids to develop good practice hygiene by setting mini goals for each practice session. Parents can help build confidence in intuition by asking, “Is that what your gut is telling you?” and then not making them defend their reasoning. They will take appropriate risks, and they will be able to enjoy the benefits of an effective self-concept.
Practice manners and social norms--such as sharing--to make interactions more likely to be successful. Statements such as, “I appreciated how you set the table without asking because it helped me get dinner on the table in time for us to enjoy a game together” are more beneficial than saying, “You’re so smart.” Even if a child does not succeed at something, praising effort and persistence can encourage future attempts. The strategies to make this happen are simple and straightforward, yet their effect can last a lifetime.
Research shows that less than half of all high school boys--and only slightly more than a quarter of high school girls--report feeling at least “pretty good about the way they are.” These dismal numbers illustrate the importance of parents understanding the strategies that will effectively build kids’ self-esteem.



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