The point of this post is to deliver a simple message that will help lift ANY fog of parenting “problems”- a solution so clear it will change your brain and support your decision to QUIT Being the Maid (or Feed the Weed- coming next) or any other long term solution that you commit to.
Take a minute now, and think about one or two small shifts you could make today, that would be more in line with what Dr. Over time though, I found the deeper meaning of Dreikurs words and realized, at least for me, that he was talking more about adopting an attitude of respect, cooperation, and genuine interest than in applying techniques for raising compliant, well mannered kids.
When I began to understand the real significance of this quote, it shaped my parenting approach and allowed me to focus more intentionally on the relationship I was building with the kids and not get distracted by pesky behaviors that cropped up from time to time. As I spent more time tending to my own misguided thinking I developed a deep sense of faith in myself and in my kids and the more I internalized his words, the more deeply I felt that faith grow.
I invite you to take a minute – right now, and think about one or two small shifts you could make today, that would be more in line with what Dr.
Vicki works with parents, professionals, educators, leaders, authors and businesses across the US. If not, do so now… Do you know that your skin starts to lose tone even when you’re in your 20s? If your hand is up, you’ve probably been through the ringer at least once (or perhaps a gentle slide into in a rabbit hole) with some pesky behavior, attitude or habit that left you scratching your head and thinking, what can I do?
More aware of myself in situations that triggered strong emotions – positive or negative and how those emotions influenced the way I handled the situation. His words gave me the courage to take responsibility for my thoughts and behaviors, attitudes and beliefs and while I was busy tending to my over-active brain, I found that I interfered less with my kids and that seemed to bring out the best in them.
Faith turned into confidence and confidence allowed me to take risks, think outside the box, turn away from the “tsk-tsks” and hairy eyeballs I received from on-lookers and focus on what was most important to me.
Vicki is available for company classes, small and large group classes and private consultations.
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Maybe, like many parents, you found yourself disciplining (actually punishing), taking away or growing resentful and angry all while going round and round in a “cul de sac” cycle of behavior-reaction-behavior-reaction-behavior-reaction…and then ultimately, frustration. More aware of whether I was speaking and behaving in ways that suggested I was talking to a respected peer versus a small child, and more aware of how my actions and words influenced my child and the relationship we were building together. And what was most important, was raising children who would one day, make the world a better place as the result of participating in it from the time they could barely reach the counter. It pointed the way towards a dynamic, lively way of being in relationship with the kids, not a static one that demanded only one “right” way of handling a situation or behavior. It was easy to see that when I tried to exert force over my daughter, she responded in exactly the same way an adult would.
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