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admin 13.06.2014

This has been bugging me lately since the race button has been pushed repeatedly over the last few weeks which has gotten me to thinking about my life as a woman of color, more specifically, a black woman. We were the black children of hard working grandparents and parents who fought and dealt with difficulties that are nearly archaic to us.
In regards to my own path, right now, there are significantly less black and Hispanic applicants and matriculates going to medical school. I grew up and was raised in Kingwood, TX, a relatively affluent (I am using this term loosely) lily white neighborhood.
I can go into a store and not get followed or receive the side-eyed glance…most of the time. I hold three points of view in my head at all times: my privileged view and my black view and my female view.
It was the place to live in Houston during the 90’s: a great school system, beautiful trees, safety, stability, you know, the beige, neutral values from the fifties and sixties manifested. My Hispanic view rarely rears its head considering you can’t look Hispanic and I am ultimately treated based upon appearance first.

You have to go through discomfort to move forward whether it is work, school, or buffing it up in the gym. I was tutored privately, played the violin, performed ballet, was in every club I could think of and traveled around the country with various extracurricular organizations and I wasn’t alone. My three predominant views fight all the time, but the one that usually dominates is my privileged view. Things are going to be uncomfortable and that is what I would like to dispel into the universe: my acceptance of this discomfort. There was even a national organization that supplemented us in the in-between: the ones who straddle two viable cultures. I try not to get offended and brush it off with a meek smile while silently screaming in my head. Don’t get it twisted, though.  I am far from white-washed and was raised in the rich cultures of my family but these cultures aren’t on constant display.
This is wrong, disproportionate, and not reflective of the people who I know and have interacted with.

Make no mistake, this isn’t a white viewpoint, this is a privileged viewpoint and the only time it is ever challenged is when it is uncomfortable.
I want myself and others to be comfortable with being uncomfortable because at the end of the day, I am still black.
I know for a fact that there are capable and exceptional men and women of color in large amounts, but their conditions are not conducive to what they want to do and many of them just can’t get out.
I am one hundred percent comfortable in my own skin and I will be everywhere as much as I can experiencing new things to my best ability and if that makes you uncomfortable, so be it. We flowed in and out of the white culture and ours with effortless fluidity and became leaders in our predominately white activities, occupations, and institutions. Maybe my comfort in discomfort energy will start syncing with your energy and maybe, just maybe you will grow and maybe I will, too.

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