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Every relationship has ups and downs, but it can be hard sometimes to figure out whether or not you should break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. OR BECAUSE  you are afraid that if you break up with him he will start dating someone else just to make you jealous. OR BECAUSE  He’s the only person you have, and you are afraid that without him you will be all alone. OR BECAUSE  Everyone in his life lets him down, and you feel bad adding yourself to that list. OR BECAUSE You feel obligated to stay with him, and you are just trying to wait out this bad time until things are better again. When I was a teenager and I was stuck in an abusive relationship, it took me a long time to realize that what my boyfriend was doing was wrong. The sooner you pick up on red flags the better your chances of getting out of an unhealthy relationship before it is too late. As sweet and nice as a person is, if they have a history of being abusive, they will likely repeat their abusive pattern.

Saying I love you right away, becoming serious after a short amount of time, pushing you to do things sexually before you are ready. Abusers often try to turn you against friends or family, or make you feel guilty for spending time with other people. It’s really, really hard to be let down by the person you love, and sometimes it seems easier to ignore the pain or to brush it off. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t hit you, an abuser can still do serious mental and emotional damage to you if you stay with him.
If your partner hurts you, no matter how sorry he may be later, it is abuse and it is against the law. They “don’t want to hurt you,” or they “didn’t mean to hurt you,” but it is “never their fault.” They can make you feel like you are the crazy one. Admitting that someone has hurt you does not make you weak, it makes you strong enough to acknowledge it; and staying with someone who hurts you is not brave and it can put your life in danger. Someone who really loves you in a healthy way will give you time and space when you need it.

Even if it feels like you have no other options, there are lots of other people out there and lots of people who will love you just the way you are.
More often than not, even if an abuser goes through periods of time when they are not abusing you or someone else, they will do it again.
They won’t force you to stay with them, or punish you for needing to figure things out. As a teenager, it can be even harder to identify an abusive relationships because you are new to the world of dating .

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