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However, no matter what social norms exist, ulti­mately the more pow­er­ful factor which con­trols what happens between 2 people is their BIOLOGY as long as social norms can be effec­tively neutralized. We don’t have to replace your limbs, eyes, or other body parts to help you max­i­mize your bio­log­i­cal poten­tial, we can make you the bionic man by pro­vid­ing you with knowl­edge and know-how on how to bypass the limits society cur­rently tries to impose on you. All those things are very pow­er­ful in deter­min­ing any par­tic­u­lar person’s decision-making process but soci­etal pro­gram­ming, upbring­ing, and peer influ­ences are often much more of a pow­er­ful influence.
Short-circuit cues are those which humans have been pro­grammed with after many years of evo­lu­tion. When you learn a lot of these short-cuts, you can “cue” certain pos­i­tive char­ac­ter­is­tics about your­self, even if you don’t truly have them.
If your success with women is not where you want it, think about the last few times you inter­acted with woman you were inter­ested in and ask your­self how many of the 8 trig­gers above you made use of. Society con­structs an intel­lec­tual way for people to meet, have sex, fall in love, but it is all so con­vo­luted that only an extremely small subset of men can ever hope to easily live within it, leaving most men in a con­stant struggle. By adding the BIO angle, you are going to jump ahead and more pre­dictably, better than other men.
You can bypass the con­vo­luted con­struct by focus­ing on the sorts of things we cover in these reports and also by trig­ger­ing the bio­log­i­cal angles.
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A message like the one above shows that you have taken the time to read the person’s profile and are not just contacted hundreds of people with the same message. Again, this example refers to what the person has said in their profile and asks a friendly question.
If you want to make yourself a stunner for men, you have to take priority to understand how they think of women and what their desires on women are, so that you would know how to attract them and make them fall in love with you. When people hear the word “attrac­tive”, they usually think things like “beauty” or “phys­i­cally attrac­tive”. For women, however, they do not assess men on their level of phys­i­cal beauty nearly as much as men do for women.
What matters more, for a man to be attrac­tive to women, is for his TRAITS to be attractive.
However, don’t be fooled into think­ing that defi­cien­cies in any of these traits will affect you too much so long as you under­stand, from a woman’s per­spec­tive, at least ini­tially, it is the per­cep­tion of a man dis­play­ing these traits pos­i­tively rather than the reality. Knowing this, regard­less of what­ever cur­rently makes up your char­ac­ter (which, also, your own per­cep­tion of may not be what you think others per­ceive), your focus should be to enhance what others, espe­cially women, will PERCEIVE about you.
In that way, while you work to ACTUALLY improve your­self, you can also main­tain a focus of improv­ing how you are perceived.
Before we work through the list of traits, I want to instill a very impor­tant concept about the best way for ensur­ing others per­ceive traits in you. So many men out there believe that when they claim a certain trait to others, they are somehow dis­play­ing a pos­i­tive value when, in reality, they will come across as brag­ging.
That’s right, things like name-dropping, or telling people, espe­cially women, about your great pro­mo­tion, nice house, or your abil­i­ties will many times HURT how others per­ceive you.
Many times, what a typical man brags about ends up not even having any­thing to do with the core traits which women need to pick up on in order to FEEL attrac­tion towards him.
All such a man is lacking is an under­stand­ing of what traits are really the basis of attrac­tion for women and, as impor­tantly, how to DISPLAY those traits so that he is PERCEIVED as having those traits.
Think about talking to someone who can’t main­tain eye contact, seem hes­i­tant about what they talk about, and reg­u­larly seem to dwell on neg­a­tive sub­jects. On the same token, imagine someone who can always keep a sus­tained yet com­fort­able eye contact with others, always seems calm and sure, and always has an upbeat atti­tude when talking to or about others. You may have some behav­iors that you’re not aware of and, in that case, you need to make a con­certed effort to try to be more aware of your­self – but be careful not to be so aware of your­self that you become self-conscious! This will get easier to do over time and when you feel your behav­iors and vibe are well-balanced, no longer need to be con­cerned about it. There are many ele­ments to body lan­guage and they all come together to form an overall impres­sion women could make about you before you’ve even spoken a word to each other.
In addi­tion, after engag­ing con­ver­sa­tion with woman, your body lan­guage will provide her with cues as to your con­gru­ence with your own words. For example, if your words say “I am an out­go­ing and spon­ta­neous person” but your body lan­guage says “I am timid and cau­tious” then your words are in con­flict with your body and the woman’s poten­tial attrac­tion to you will shut down. The ulti­mate point is: there is always some­thing that can be improved with your body lan­guage to help you become more con­gru­ent with how you want to portray yourself. Have a friend help by observ­ing you from a dis­tance when you talk to women and ask them to give you feed­back on whether your body lan­guage was pos­i­tive or not. There is always a mistake made in modern culture that to have good “style” a man must be con­stantly aware of new fash­ions, spend endless money on an up-to-date wardrobe, become bor­der­line met­ro­sex­ual, etc, etc, just to keep himself from being dis­counted or ignored. There is cer­tainly nothing wrong with being aware of fashion trends, being able to color-coordinate, and take care of your groom­ing, but there is also a thresh­old you should be con­scious not to pass.
Although you will undoubt­edly not hear much of this in style advice resources for men, women are charmed and attracted to men who are stylish yet not com­pletely together. There should always be ele­ments of your style that relay you did not over-think your style or obsess over it. Coming across as pos­si­bly gay may not be a bad thing for first meeting and inter­act­ing with women, but it doesn’t exactly ensure her attrac­tion to you in the way that you would want. The basis of style is to, first, take care of your body so that what­ever you do wear (or not wear) simply looks better on you. If you look good with a buzz cut, then, by all means, go to an assembly-line hair salon and save your­self some money. I have brown hair (which gets wavy when long) and I used to cut my hair very short and wear a goatee. Sure, some girls would have pre­ferred my hair the way it was before, but far more like my hair the way it is now… and so do I! For the men out there who are losing their hair, you can improve your look by simply shaving your head. If you are merely reced­ing then a short-cropped but stylish haircut works well (also having your hair colored lighter helps) but if you are lit­er­ally and notice­ably going bald then make it a CHOICE and shave your head.
For guys who are under 35 and still have a good crop of hair but are visibly reced­ing, I would rec­om­mend having your doctor pre­scribe Propecia® for you. You must first decide what kind of women you are inter­ested in and that will tell you the kind of men they are likely to be inter­ested in. Pay atten­tion to what it is about what he is wearing and how he’s wearing it that you may be able to emulate.
If you are a big man, then it might make sense to adjust how you wear your clothes to reduce the appear­ance of a hefty torso.
Beyond all this, you must NOT pick clothes to wear solely to be “con­formist” to current fashion. This trait element is the hardest to display and the best way to do it is through your man­ner­isms, observ­able actions, and how you inter­act with and treat individuals. Women will auto­mat­i­cally assess a man’s social stature by observ­ing how he talks to others, relates to others, and how he sees himself.
Also, con­sider a man who is trying too hard to garner a pos­i­tive reac­tion from a woman. This does not mean a man should not appre­ci­ate a woman when she has done some­thing pos­i­tive to deserve pos­i­tive atten­tion from him, but this behav­ior of chasing approval is simply unattractive. Much of social inter­ac­tion will lend itself to the display of your social stature as described previously. Social inter­ac­tion is sup­ple­ment­ing your per­ceived social struc­ture with the means by which you inter­act in envi­ron­ments that are more social. Your social inter­ac­tion abil­i­ties are dis­played in the way you inter­act with groups of people. If you’re talking to a woman, and things are going well, but her friend comes along and inter­rupts you, there are many ways to deal with this but no matter how you deal with it, the utmost impor­tant factor is the inter­ac­tion itself and what it dis­plays about your social abilities. If even then the friend con­tin­ues her rude inter­rup­tion, it is a simple thing to dis­cretely tell the woman you were talking to that her friend is being rude. If things were NOT going well with you and the woman you’re talking to, then of course her friend is just coming over to try to “save” her.


Let us first state what dom­i­nance is not, at least in terms of being attrac­tive to a woman.
Work to improve at least one element a day from now on, even a little bit at a time, and you will reach a point where you nat­u­rally vibe as an incred­i­bly attrac­tive man and will find that attract­ing women becomes some­thing you can do naturally. But there is a dif­fer­ence between knowing what will create attrac­tion in a woman and doing THAT versus just cater­ing to what she asks for or what you THINK she wants with no under­stand­ing of the actual cor­re­la­tion between doing that and getting you closer to your goal (except having a hope it will help). Anyway, the point is by cater­ing to what a woman wants, any more than the bare minimum, you allow her to set the tone which means she will feel like she is the one in control of the inter­ac­tions and she will see that as the ongoing course of the “relationship”. If that’s what she per­ceives, then she will presume it will remain this way with you always and this is not attrac­tive to her. She may be recep­tive to it ini­tially as she gets to know you, espe­cially if you did a good enough job of getting her inter­est in the first place, but over time it will wear on her uncon­sciously and she will lose that initial attraction. Do NOT make the mistake of believ­ing that initial recep­tiv­ity to such behav­ior will equal long-term inter­est. Now, keep in mind what I meant when I wrote “bare minimum” does not mean to always do things the oppo­site of what she wants or somehow antag­o­nize her or try to be bossy or con­trol­ling.
Sometimes you CAN let her feel like she’s the one taking charge — but here is the trick to that: Provide her that allowance for the times when she is doing some­thing FOR you so that her per­cep­tion will be that she is the one pur­su­ing you, versus the other way around, and this will be always-present in her thoughts. You deal with the dynam­ics of any sit­u­a­tion and able to main­tain a cool head and nav­i­gate rough waters. These are all the attrac­tive values she REALLY seeks and they must be ever-present from you.
I hate to burst any of your bubbles but this is NOT a choice for you as a man, it is a requirement. Some women will respond to heavy doses of this (literal dom­i­na­tion) but for most women that’s unnec­es­sary overkill and more likely to cause disdain early on unless you pick up from her that she is really into it. Not every outcome to every sit­u­a­tion will be pos­i­tive or pleas­ant but if she can see that you are at the very least leading things through and taking the lead role then it’s all good. So, to recap, I’ve explained why allow­ing a woman to set the tone is not a good thing most of the time and why it’s impor­tant for you to be the one setting the tone. So, if you find your­self hes­i­tat­ing about this then just realize it’s not up for debate any more than rowing a boat upstream or sailing against the wind. But the next thing to say for those who haven’t had a woman obsess over you: be careful what you wish for. All this being said I know there are those of you whose goal is just to get one really high quality woman and stay with her for a very long time. The basics of the method are that you make a woman work to meet your expec­ta­tions that you main­tain for her and women in general.
There are many psy­cho­log­i­cal prin­ci­ples that are at work when you make someone work hard to accom­plish some­thing. The other psy­cho­log­i­cal prin­ci­ple is that people with a great deal of choice tend to be more dis­crim­i­nat­ing and demand­ing than those who have little choice. The third prin­ci­ple is that most people love chal­lenges, and as long as you main­tain certain stan­dards then they will enjoy trying to meet those standards.
It helps to actu­ally create a list of the things that you really do expect or prefer in women, and actively screen for them. Now, to get a woman really obsessed over a longer term, set her much bigger chal­lenges and expec­ta­tions.
Again, these may sound pretty harsh, but also notice that they also all result in making her improve herself.
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ANY man can cultivate the kind of “cool” women actually care about by taking just a few simple steps. Suddenly he stops acting defensive and goal tending against perceived threats and challenges.
Be Free To LoveTo provide strategic information and compelling insights to post divorce men and women to embrace relationship success.
October 23, 2012 by Betty Russell 7 Comments If you’re a woman over 40 entering the dating world, you’re probably aware of the way Hollywood and popular culture love to depict you. In most cases, women over 40 have wonderful life experiences to bring to a relationship–from raising children to running a household, from volunteering in the community to traveling around the world, from bringing home the bacon to frying it up in a pan! And that authenticity breeds confidence and confidence is sexy—it’s charismatic, welcoming, and downright fun. Boundaries: Know what topics of conversation you are comfortable discussing as well as your physical contact limits. Intentions: Know if you are casually dating for something to do or if you are dating to find a committed relationship and communicate your intentions sooner rather than later. So get out there, meet new people, and have fun!  For a free 30 minute consultation visit my personal online scheduler and let’s set a time.
Question: Can you advise me how to proceed on a third date with a girl that makes me butterfly nervous?Dear Betty, I am at the very beginning of a new relationship and need advice. Much of the advice we give you in these reports centers on social “norms” (even if they don’t seem normal) and how to under­stand them and cap­i­tal­ize to your advantage.
Once the biology angle is trig­gered with a woman, her behav­ior will over­ride her soci­etal conditioning. We don’t have time to process every tiny detail of every sit­u­a­tion pre­sented to us so our brain makes use of “short cuts”. For example, you don’t have to spend hours proving to a woman you are a patient and calm person if you can simply relay it by small actions which “cue” that characteristic.
Of guys only having mediocre success, I would guess only 2 or 3 of these trig­gers are being used, if even that!
However, when it comes to sending your first message to someone it can be hard to think of what to say. By commenting on something that they have written in a jokey way, you are showing that you have a sense of humour and it is also nice to compliment someone’s personality in this way. When you know what the right things to say to a man, you can easily make him fall in love with you. One of the worst things that a woman would do is to make a man feel like he is suffocated with high attention. You have to admit that a woman who knows how to use body language to flirt with men can have an advantage over other counterparts when it comes to attract a man, making him fall in love with you. ChnLove’s mission is simple, which is to provide members with a safe, secure & pleasant dating environment with premium services. Certainly, when most men feel initial attrac­tion for a woman, that is the case – phys­i­cal beauty has sig­nif­i­cant meaning. That is not to say being phys­i­cally attrac­tive is somehow not valu­able, cer­tainly the better you can improve your appear­ance the more attrac­tive you will be, overall. If you per­ceive some­thing as being a certain way, then that is your reality and you make judg­ments on that per­cep­tion of reality.
There is nothing wrong with receiv­ing advice like “fake it ‘til you make it” but it is sorely lacking in prac­ti­cal infor­ma­tion about HOW to fake it, and not expla­na­tion of what “it” is. Worse, if such brag­ging is not believed (which many times it isn’t), the per­ceived value of those men is actu­ally reduced. If that man is even­tu­ally smart enough to avoid this behav­ior, he is left not knowing what to do or say to be attrac­tive. You must simply be con­scious of your own behav­ior pat­terns and correct any neg­a­tive tendencies.
When you can see, clearly and without doubt, see that others hon­estly enjoy being around you, seek out your company, and openly and reg­u­larly intro­duce you to other people they know. You could be the clean­est and most stylish man in a room full of scrubs but if you display your­self that way by giving up your sense of mas­culin­ity, then you are just shoot­ing your­self in the foot.
Women see men like this, who obsess about their style, espe­cially better-looking men who take care of them­selves phys­i­cally, and presume they are gay.
This does NOT mean you must be an Adonis but if you are cur­rently over­weight or out of shape then you must at least put an effort in to reg­u­larly improve your body (in a healthy way). However, if you keep your hair longer and want to look good, take the extra time to find a good salon and pay the extra money to main­tain an actual hair STYLE. I’ve grad­u­ally changed my style over the years and now I’m clean-shaven most of the time (occa­sion­ally 1 day stubble) have grown my hair out long, colored it a little lighter with even lighter high­lights and even had it “relaxed” so it would not be too curly or wavy when long. Then you take the time to figure out what THOSE kind of men are likely be wearing at any given time and real­is­ti­cally con­sider whether such a style would suit you before going out and spend­ing a couple thou­sand dollars on new clothes.
It is not as impor­tant to appear to have high social stature in general as it is to at least have higher social stature than her or the people within her imme­di­ate social circle. A woman talking to such a man will believe he will just as soon talk bad about her to someone else.


If he is trying to hard with her, he is going to relay that he believes his social stature is lower than hers is and this will make him unat­trac­tive to her. If you show an ability to respect others and their place in life, and extend an empa­thetic per­spec­tive (without cross­ing the line into tree-hugging sappy-man), you will be far more attrac­tive than a man who does not seem to be able to relate to anyone around him. Your social inter­ac­tion traits are also dis­played to a woman in how you inter­act with people she knows. In such cases, rather than worry about it, realize there is some­thing about your inter­ac­tions that you need to improve to avoid needing a band-aid to the sit­u­a­tion in the first place. You can only presume such recep­tiv­ity is pro­duc­tive to your goals if your actions are those of leading (being the lead, the one in charge, the one setting the tone) rather than cater­ing (being reac­tive to her leads, allow­ing her to set the tone). What I mean is you must almost always be the one who is leading the sit­u­a­tion, or at least not leave doubt in her mind as to who is leading the inter­ac­tions, even if ulti­mately you are doing what she wants to do at least half the time, if not more. This way, when­ever she IS the one “in charge”, it’s for times when she is doing some­thing for you. Remember, that is a big key to this — to realize that some­times bad things will happen but so long as you display a cool head and an ability to at least take charge when nec­es­sary, that is what matters.
She will appre­ci­ate you for it more than you know and reward you more readily in the long term. First let me say that there are many ways to get a woman to be obsessed with you, but today I will be dis­cussing only one. I basi­cally no longer use any of the things that I know make women obsessed with me, it is really more trouble than it is worth unless you are pretty sure you want to have a really long term rela­tion­ship with them. And for the rest of you, using less intense ver­sions of what I will discuss can still be good for getting initial attrac­tion.
It almost doesn’t matter what the job is, people who have worked hard at some­thing tend to value the expe­ri­ence greatly after the fact. Women know this and will infer from your main­tain­ing high stan­dards for them that you have a great deal of choice of what women you can date.
Remember to screen for char­ac­ter traits and things she can change or do, not phys­i­cal traits. This again usually is more effec­tive once you know you have her strongly attracted and usually once you are already in a sexual rela­tion­ship with her. If she is a second gen­er­a­tion American (example Italian American) but she only speaks English, you might chal­lenger her to learn the lan­guage of her grand­par­ents. And as I said above, if you also make it some­thing that improves her, then you are doing some­thing good for her at the same time. He’s comfortable in his own skin, and it’s reflected in everything from his personal style to his body language. David shares his most powerful tips and tools for how ANY man can find his inner “cool” to become more successful with women and dating in his FREE newsletter. In spite of the media stereotypes, you most likely are not a crazy woman in a shawl living with 40 cats, nor are you a “broad” in cheetah leggings, feathered mules, and makeup to hide the face it was meant to enhance. You are the multitasking, book club attending, spin class loving demographic that is so much more than merely gender and number. Surveys indicate that men look for confidence, authenticity, intelligence, and a sense of humor, more so than physical beauty at any age. Tell your friends or family where you will be — and give them a number where you can be reached and keep your cell phone on. You probably want to avoid excessive details about your ex but mentioning your children in the context of a story is okay.
Typically, women over 40 are comfortable with their bodies so don’t be afraid to accent your best assets.
You should expect to meet and date men who are not your ideal partner before you and the love of your life find each other. Below, I have outlined some good and bad examples of messages and have given some tips on how to send an effective message on an online dating site.
The message also emphasises a common interest in horse riding and ends with a friendly question, which would encourage the person to reply. He’s also suggested that she should come along and watch him play rugby and ended it with a cheeky wink.
That does not make any of you more right or wrong, only that you each per­ceive things differently.
He has a good job, has access to resources, is a smart, a good person, but has no under­stand­ing of what he can to do be more attrac­tive to women, and perhaps he is left think­ing that he can’t be attrac­tive to women. Even someone with no under­stand­ing of body lan­guage will be able to under­stand some­thing that doesn’t “feel” right when observ­ing from a dis­tance and can suggest a means to improve.
It means take care to pay atten­tion to thinks like your hair style, skin, teeth, body hair, body odors, etc. Rather, use current fash­ions as a start­ing point and then add ele­ments on top of that which help you stand out as dif­fer­ent and inter­est­ing (in an attrac­tive & mas­cu­line way, not in a one-man-circus kind of way).
HAHA just kidding, but unless you’ve been living under a rock you know that we’ve got the wind at your back with these reports. Also, if you’re a regular reader, you prob­a­bly know from first­hand expe­ri­ence how using all the tech­niques together can make women go some­what crazy over you. Also, people tend to value things they had to work very hard to get much more than things that came easily to them. This thus increases your value, and since it is rare that men do this, you are a rare find. The kind of strength I’m talking about, the kind that translates into genuine “cool,” is the kind a man uses to project personal confidence, control, and leadership. It’s just that simple to “be cool”… and to start succeeding in life and love like you never thought possible.
With your established home, career, and friends, you’ll just have to remind yourself that enlightened people now believe what you’ve always known–age is just a number.  We’ve all heard that 50 is the new 30, and that’s because as women age, we are able to find and understand our true authentic selves.
And what about the end of the date – are you comfortable with a warm hug or kiss or some kind of sexual involvement? Whatever happens, don’t be put off sending messages, a cheesy message is better than no message at all! Wait until you have exchanged at least a couple of messages before giving out your phone number. If you want to become the kind of woman who not only makes a guy appeal to you but all fall in love with you, then you need to bridge the gaps a little and understand what it is that will make a man fall in love with you. You have no need to worry he would suddenly find someone else than you if you give him enough time and space. Every man wants his girl to be charming and you can keep yourself in beautiful look when staying with your man, but don’t overdo it on your dressing, or he might not see you the same way any more.
I’ve been taking it for years and it has lit­er­ally stopped the hair­line reces­sion I was expe­ri­enc­ing since my mid-20s.
In this case, by making a woman work hard to meet your expec­ta­tions to get or keep you, she values much more than the guy who just falls for her with no effort on her part.
Because I really never enjoy people who are closed to new ideas and trying new things.” This expec­ta­tion says all the right things. Until a man feels fulfilled in his own life, there’s no way he can connect in a meaningful way with a woman. Right on your very next date, but, if you don’t, be ready to move on and remain on good terms. Even if a woman con­sid­ers herself to be not so adven­tur­ous, she is still likely to try to be more adven­tur­ous around you.
However, once he does feel more fulfilled, the qualities of “cool” that create connections with women begin to flow from him almost automatically. Seeing situations for what they really are (without bias, bitterness or paranoia) so you can take mature, decisive action.
If your caring is real, you’ll never come across as more “cool” than when you share these feelings with her.
So while a face lift and tummy tuck might seem to lead you down the path toward true happiness, it is developing yourself from the inside out that will introduce you to a the truly wonderful opportunities you deserve. This website is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!
Start taking action to get where you want to go in life instead of just sitting on the sidelines, worrying, rethinking and second-guessing everything.
Do just this much, and you’ll be amazed how easily you start connecting emotionally with everyone around you…including great women.



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