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I first noticed the graphic on a friend’s Facebook feed last weekend, accompanied by an avid conversation about which body type men find more attractive.
I’m no more likely to look like Marilyn Monroe than I am to be mistaken for Keira Knightley on the beach. PLUS Model Mag Promotes Size Acceptance, But Are Their Photos Really Body Positive?Dear Facebook Friends: Please Stop Sharing This Female-Bashing Gillian McKeith vs. And if you read the article, you’ll see that I am arguing against conformity and against the photo entirely.
The point of this post is to talk about what beauty standards set by Hollywood and the media are doing to women’s self-esteem and mental health.
The point is that women should not hate one another because of their sizes, and images such as the first one do nothing but fuel that very hatred. In reality, there is no justifiable reason to foster any kind of hatred between women at all, regardless of the sizes they wear. I think you missed the point of the article… the reason that compilation is great is that they all represent different body types and are all beautiful.
You shouldn’t have to find EVERYONE attractive so some people feel better about their bodies.
If that’s what they want to look like, or already do, and THEY are happy with it, then let them be.
And we have plenty to worry about in our country, however, body image is something that SHOULD be worried about. The first day I was in second grade, I came to school and noticed that there was a new, very pretty girl in the class—someone who hadn’t been there the previous two years. The news quickly got back to Alana herself, who stayed as far away from me as possible for days after.
This horrifying experience taught me a critical life lesson—it can be mortally dangerous to be yourself, and you should exercise extreme social caution at all times.
Evolution does everything for a reason, and to understand the origin of this particular insanity, let’s back up for a minute to 50,000BC in Ethiopia, where your Great2,000 Grandfather lived as part of a small tribe. Because of this, humans evolved an over-the-top obsession with what others thought of them—a craving for social approval and admiration, and a paralyzing fear of being disliked. Your Great2,000 Grandfather’s Social Survival Mammoth was central to his ability to endure and thrive. Our bodies and minds are built to live in a tribe in 50,000BC, which leaves modern humans with a number of unfortunate traits, one of which is a fixation with tribal-style social survival in a world where social survival is no longer a real concept.
Why else would you try on four outfits and still not be sure what to wear before going out?
And while keeping your highly insecure Social Survival Mammoth feeling calm and safe takes a lot of work, that’s only one half of your responsibilities.
Society has evolved to accommodate this mammoth-feeding frenzy, inventing things like accolades and titles and the concept of prestige in order to keep our mammoths satisfied—and often to incentivize people to do meaningless jobs and live unfulfilling lives they wouldn’t otherwise consider taking part in. With so much thought and energy dedicated to the mammoth’s needs, you often end up neglecting someone else in your brain, someone all the way at the center—your Authentic Voice. And while the mammoth looks only to the outside world in its decision-making process, your Authentic Voice uses the outside world to learn and gather information, but when it’s time for a decision, it has all the tools it needs right there in the core of your brain. And since our 50,000-year-old brains are wired to give the mammoth a whole lot of sway in things, your Authentic Voice starts to feel like it’s irrelevant.
In tribal times, AVs often spent their lives in quiet obscurity, and this was largely okay. But in today’s large, complex world of varying cultures and personalities and opportunities and options, losing touch with your AV is dangerous. Losing touch with your AV also makes you fragile, because when your identity is built on the approval of others, being criticized or rejected by others really hurts. Likewise, you know those people who react to being criticized by coming back with a nasty low-blow? At this point, the mission should be clear—we need to figure out a way to override the wiring of our brain and tame the mammoth. Some people are born with a reasonably tame mammoth or raised with parenting that helps keep the mammoth in check.
Most of the time a mammoth is in control of a person, the person’s not really aware of it. The most obvious way to find the mammoth is to figure out where your fear is—where are you most susceptible to shame or embarrassment? The second place a mammoth hides is in the way-too-good feelings you get from feeling accepted or on a pedestal over other people. Real Woolly Mammoths were unimpressive enough to go extinct, and Social Survival Mammoths aren’t any better. When people shit-talk, they set up a category division of which they’re always on the right side. Being the material a judgy person uses to feel good about themselves is a fairly infuriating thought—but it has no actual consequences and it’s clearly all much more about the judgy person and their mammoth problem than it is about you. The irony of the whole thing is that the obsessive lumbering mammoth isn’t even good at his job.
This also holds among friends or colleagues, where AV-run people are more respected and more magnetic—not because there’s necessarily anything extraordinary about them, but because people respect someone with the strength of character to have tamed their mammoth. Absorbing this thought will diminish the fear that you feel, and without fear, the mammoth loses some power. With a weakened mammoth, it becomes possible to begin standing up for who you are and even making some bold changes—and when you watch those changes turn out well for you with few negative consequences and no regrets, it reinforces the epiphany and an empowered AV becomes a habit. I’ve always been a person who believes it is important to form your own, well founded opinion, but especially when it came to (dating) women I would be obsessed about what they might think of me etc.
You keep saying how small we are compared to time and the universe, and I keep saying you could totally be alive for the next billion years. This is obviously a topic of debate but it’s probably safe to assume that you, when given the change, will always prefer some things over others.
Well, along with teaching people to be themselves we need to teach people to accept other people being themselves. But your comment is definitely something that was missing from the original post so thank you also for adding that!
Letter writing can be fun, help children learn to compose written text, and provide handwriting practice — and letters are valuable keepsakes. You are welcome to print copies for non-commercial use, or a limited number for educational purposes, as long as credit is given to Reading Rockets and the author(s). I really found these helpful for my lesson but, I personally think this is not appropriate for children.
A great read as I am looking for various language to use in writing thank-you notes to parents for Christmas gifts.
I don't think you should write your name in the top right hand corner of the letter regardless of whether it is formal or informal.


The main thing that you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile. When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Remember even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you. Surround yourself with people who provide you with support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return.
Then I saw it on Twitter, shared by famed yoga teacher Kathryn Budig, who encouraged her fans to feel better about their bodies. Feeling good about our bodies is the whole point; too many women let body image hangups drag down their mental and physical health because they feel judged by ridiculous standards. I, after seeing the image originally posted by a male in my social network, I knew it is an issue for men, women’s body issues. It was simple—keep the mammoth well fed with social approval and pay close attention to its overwhelming fears of nonacceptance, and you’ll be fine. The mammoth also needs to be fed regularly and robustly—with praise, approval, and the feeling of being on the right side of any social or moral dichotomy. Mammoths look around at society to figure out what they’re supposed to do, and when it becomes clear, they jump right in. A Puppet Master is a person or group of people whose opinion matters so much to you that they’re essentially running your life.
When we get to this toxic state in our relationship with a Puppet Master, that person’s presence hangs over our entire decision-making process and pulls the strings of our opinions and our moral voice.
In contrast to the black-and-white simplicity of the Social Survival Mammoth, your Authentic Voice is complex, sometimes hazy, constantly evolving, and unafraid.
Life was simple, and conformity was the goal—and the mammoth had conformity covered just fine.
A bad break-up is painful for everyone, but it stings in a much deeper place for a mammoth-run person than for a person with a strong AV. Those tend to be severely mammoth-run people, and criticism makes them so mad because mammoths cannot handle criticism. Others die without ever reining their mammoth in at all, spending their whole lives at its whim. It takes some serious reflection to sift through the webs of other people’s thoughts and opinions and figure out who the real you actually is. Maybe you can reflect on this from whatever chair you’re sitting in right now or from some other part of your normal life—or maybe you need to go somewhere far away, by yourself, and step out of your life in order to effectively examine it. What parts of your life do you think about and a dreadful, sinking feeling washes over you?
The thing we all need to do is carve out certain sacred areas of our lives that must be in the hands of the AV and free of mammoth influence.
Despite the fact that they haunt us so, our mammoths are dumb, primitive creatures who have no understanding of the modern world.
It’s a classic mammoth mistake to fabricate a vision of future social consequences that is way worse than what actually ends up happening—which is usually nothing at all. If you find yourself making decisions partially based on not being talked badly about by a judgy person, think hard about what’s actually going on and stop. His methods of winning approval may have been effective in simpler times, but today, they’re transparent and off-putting.
The only time a mammoth-crazed person is appealing on a first date is when they’re on the date with another mammoth-crazed person. You can start to relish the feeling of being viewed as weird or inappropriate or confusing to people, and society becomes your playground and blank canvas, not something to grovel before and hope for acceptance from. Your Authentic Voice has been given one life—and it’s your job to make sure it gets the opportunity to live it.
Last year I decided I would at least try to stop giving a damn about what anyone thinks of me – and it has been trully liberating. What if we all have endless ‘voices’ in our head, constantly shaping our identity through dialogues? Iv’e seen this idea from Tim articulated by someone else, a very old and dead psychologist called Kazimier Dabrowski. I first heard of him aproximately a year ago and there was definetly a lot of recognition going on just like now with this superbly written article.
This 100%… Sometimes people get so lost in OTHER people accepting them as they are, that we forget to also extend the same thoughtful courtesy to others. This guide was written for England's "Write a Letter Week" and contains activities to help children ages 5–9 put pen to paper and make someone's day with a handwritten letter. For example, KS1 refers to Key State 1, corresponding to children ages 5 to 7; KS2 corresponds to children ages 7 to 9. I am student teaching and third grade right now and trying to figure out how to pull this off. After choosing the event, we brainstormed together, using a concept map, what would need to be included.
Our whole sharing month in December revolved around distinguishing between a need and a want. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.
There were also those who came out of the trenches as writers and poets, who started preaching peace, men and women who have made this world a kinder place to live. What we do need is greater diversity in body shapes and sizes in movies, TV shows and magazines. And no singular beauty ideal will ever be good for women, so let’s promote diversity instead of comparing one uniform ideal against another. There are men being brainwashed to one size is better than another, beauty and personality didn’t matter.
I feel to pushed to look like bloody Marilyn Monroe or Kim Kardashian by MEDIA and people like you but I fight against it.
So for your Great2,000 Grandfather, almost nothing in the world was more important than being accepted by his fellow tribe members, especially those in positions of authority. A Puppet Master is often a parent, or maybe your significant other, or sometimes an alpha member of your group of friends.
Your AV has its own, nuanced moral code, formed by experience, reflection, and its own personal take on compassion and integrity. When it comes to the most personal questions, instead of digging deep into the foggy center of what you really believe in to find clarity, you’ll look to others for the answers. A strong AV makes a stable core, and after a break-up, that core is still holding firm—but since the acceptance of others is all a mammoth-run person has, being dumped by a person who knows you well is a far more shattering experience.


Most of us are somewhere in the middle—we’ve got control of our mammoth in certain areas of our lives while it wreaks havoc in others. Either way, you’ve got to figure out what actually matters to you and start being proud of whoever your Authentic Voice is.
Are you terrified of disappointing your parents and do you choose making them proud over aiming to gratify yourself?
There are obvious areas that need to be made part of the AV’s domain like your choice of life partner, your career path, and the way you raise your kids.
This is one of those simple things—if they truly selflessly love you, they will for sure come around and accept everything once they see that you’re happy. The modern world is an AV’s world, and if the mammoth wants to thrive socially, he should do the thing that scares him most—let the AV take over. Leadership is natural for most AVs, because they draw their thoughts and opinions from an original place, which gives them an original angle.
The last thing a mammoth is going to do is change the status quo because it’s trying so hard to be the status quo. People with a strong AV see through mammoth-controlled people and aren’t attracted to them. But actually doing something after you finish reading this article is a whole different thing. He basicaly held the position that to tame your mammoth and actually listen to your AV you would need some sort of disintegrating experience (usually some event followed by a depression) to actually start down that scary path. QCA stands for Qualifications and Curriculum Authority, which is the regulatory body for public school examinations.
The thank-you with a purpose will be awesome as an example of an informal thank-you letter. Gillian McKeith photo before it, or the recent PLUS Model Magazine photo shoot, I know the intention of this graphic is good.
Most women don’t have the 21-inch waist Elizabeth Taylor had at the height of her fame. You can’t say that Keira is anorexic, she has ALWAYS been fit like that, she is naturally tall and slender.
Someone with an eating disorder when younger can have complications for the rest of their lives. Fitting in with those around him and pleasing those above him meant he could stay in the tribe, and about the worst nightmare he could imagine would be people in the tribe starting to whisper about how annoying or unproductive or weird he was—because if enough people disapproved of him, his ranking within the tribe would drop, and if it got really bad, he’d be kicked out altogether and left for dead. But something funny has happened for humans in the last 10,000 years—their civilization has dramatically changed. It knows how you feel deep down about things like money and family and marriage, and it knows which kinds of people, topics of interest, and types of activities you truly enjoy, and which you don’t. Do you get too excited about being associated with prestigious things or care too much about status? So obsessing over fitting in with any one group is illogical, especially if that group isn’t really who you are. And if they’re smart and innovative enough, they can change things in the world and invent things that disrupt the status quo. When you give someone a paintbrush and canvas, but the paint is the same exact color as the canvas, they can paint all they want, but they won’t change anything.
A friend of mine was dating a great on-paper guy awhile back but broke things off because she couldn’t quite fall for him. I don’t preach to be a selfish dick, but it is important to know that if you expect others to make you happy, it will never happen, not for the long term anyway! In a way, the women on the bottom half of the photos have figures that are more impossible to obtain: not only do they have wasp waists, they also have proportionally large busts and hips. I feel for young men, who feel they need to be in the closet about the type of girl who is his preference. Depending on your natural body type you will look very different from the same type of work out and diet.
Weight and body image concerns are only rising and spreading to the male gender and as well as every race there is. He also knew that if he ever embarrassed himself by pursuing a girl in the tribe and being rejected, she’d tell the other girls about it—not only would he have blown his chance with that girl, but he might never have a mate at all now because every girl that would ever be in his life knew about his lame, failed attempt. Sudden, quick change is something civilization has the ability to do, and the reason that can be awkward is that our evolutionary biology can’t move nearly as fast.
Your AV knows that it doesn’t know how your life will or should play out, but it tends to have a strong hunch about the right step to take next.
You might not even be aware that you have a mammoth at all or of the extent to which your Authentic Voice has been silenced.
Is there anything you regularly spend money on that you don’t feel that comfortable with? If you were giving advice to yourself, which parts of your life would clearly need a change that you’re avoiding acting on right now?
You’ll do all that work, and meanwhile, your actual favorite people are off being friends with each other somewhere else. They’re allowing their mammoth to override their love for you, and they should be adamantly ignored.
If you give someone a paintbrush and an empty canvas, they might not paint something good—but they’ll change the canvas in one way or another. It is hard, I can’t imagine what being a homosexual is like, people pretending to accept you cos if they ostracise you they are discriminating. So while for most of history, both our social structure and our biology evolved and adjusted at a snail’s pace together, civilization has recently developed the speed capabilities of a hare while our biology has continued snailing along. After drafting, we did peer edits, from a specific check list, and revised and edited for specific errors based on peer edit. As long as you eat when you are hungry and doesn’t stop til you are full and get fresh vegetables and protein and all you need from your food it is absolutely nothing wrong with being slim. I would look like Keira (or maybe I should say Shakira as I have rounded hips like her and my body resembles hers) if I didn’t binge on sweets quite often.
It is just sick to say that that is better for me than to stop it because I would look like Shakira does.
Do you secretly have an opinion on a political or moral issue you don’t ever voice because people you know will be outraged? An annoying thing is that people don’t understand that Jennifer Lopez for example probably has a stricter diet and work out HARDER than Keira Knightley. It is her body type that makes her curvy, she can STARVE before videos to be able to show off her tiny waist since her hips are big any way from the way she is built and the way her body works and where she loses fat.



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