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admin 11.07.2015

I guess what really forms you as a person is what you do within your family to receive love or attention. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good plays, good company, good conversation - what are they? To conclude: good journalism is one of the models of good conversation and communication in the wider social context. Well, my closest friends are still the ones that I went to school with, but it's nice to go to work, at the studios, and have people there that you're willing to talk to and have a good conversation with. A good quartet is like a good conversation among friends interacting to each other's ideas. When we are busy at work and busy at home, an hour's walking every day becomes a real luxury. Fred and I have been married for almost ten years and I have spent every single day of our marriage trying to win over his mother, Diane.  From the first time, Diane met me it was very clear that she didn’t like me.
In the beginning I thought Fred’s mom was testing me and over time we could have a cordial relationship. Rene, what do you think, am I overreacting or should my husband put a stop to his mother’s disrespectful behavior towards me? FRED NEEDS TO TALK TO HIS MOTHER: Fred’s gonna have to grow a pair and have a real chat with his mom. YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOU: One of the things I tell my kids is that you cannot control other peoples’ actions, only your reaction to them. I have a son so I can tell you there is a special bond between a mother and her boy, just as there is between a mother and her daughter. The real pisser about this though is it could have been handled quickly and cleanly YEARS ago. Bullies don’t just stop bullying, especially if others (FRED) are letting them get away with it.
Hell-mom will be mad for awhile, but I’m betting you won’t be the first to have had to deal with her this way, so she’ll get the picture. I think of the Mother-in-Law movie when I read this but I wonder, this COULDN’T be a sista bc she would put mommy dearest in her place! I had to restrict the time my children spent with my MIL because for a long time she tried to control them and fill their minds with lies about my husband and I. My husband had to cut the apron strings and stand up to his mother several times-if he hadn’t our marriage would have ended.


In my family, what you had to do to receive attention was to have good conversation at the dinner table or for me to do well at school, and those were really my focuses because that was what was valued the most.
An early agent said to me, 'If you can put your legs behind your head, let's say you're a contortionist!' So I got sent out for everything twisty and bendy. My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. If done alone, the walk injects a period of meditation into the day, and if done in company, it allows space for some really good conversation. Fred has to really feel the pain and feelings of inadequacy whenever Diane comes for a visit. He needs to be respectful yet firm because the bottom line is Diane is coming into the place he calls his castle and insulting the woman he calls his queen. But if Fred refuses to talk to his mother or he talks to her and Diane continues with her campaign to tear you down, I wouldn’t stay in the house while she’s there. When not spending time with her family or burning something for dinner, Rene travels the country as host of Sweet Retreats on The Live Well Network and Exhale on Aspire. If Fred doesn’t want to put on his big boy pants, snatch them from him for a minute or two.
My MIL died in January, God rest her soul, but oh my goodness, did she make my life miserable.
I have been married almost 20 years and about 10 years ago we had a major melt down with my mother-in-law. Then at the company’s annual meeting she turned it into an intervention…for me! We have come a long way in the last 10 years but our relationship will never never be what it once was. At first, he told me that I was over reacting, but eventually acknowledged that his mom is being rude to me.
I’m going to guess that if this has been going on for nearly a decade, Fred sort of “tunes you out” whenever you bring her up. She may have given birth to him years ago, but she’s not in charge of him or anything else in his life at this point.
So what she doesn’t approve of your cooking or the way you clean house; she doesn’t live there! As much as I love that kid and would like to think I will always remain on the pedestal, the truth is some other woman will replace me and I will be relegated to second position.


You should brace yourself because I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets worse before things even out.
Tell her to judge you all she wants but to keep her verdict to herself, and tell her if she can’t respect you in your home that she on the wrong side of your door and to kindly get the hell out. Tell her that she may return as soon as she can respect you, your home, and you rules, but not a minute before.
And the hardest part for me was trying to understand how someone so mean, and unpleasant, and downright evil at times managed to raise such a wonderfully kind and loving man as my husband. Long story short…MIL and I were good friends for the first several years of my marriage. Fred is Diane’s only son and he is devoted to her.  But I think at some point he needs to be a “big boy” and tell his mother to respect his wife. He’d probably welcome three root canals rather than to have to hear about this issue one more time.
Because Fred is an adult in charge of his own home and life, there are rules of engagement all visitors must abide by and yes, Diane is now a visitor.
Who cares that she doesn’t like the way you fold the towels or that the dust bunnies are multiplying in the corner. The therapist, after hours of therapy-individual, couple, and group-the therapist concluded that a)My MIL needed a lot of professional help, b) I was a gift of God sent to save her business and if she didn’t accept that we needed to part ways. When I want to get something really important across to my husband, I lay it out logically and present it in a way that is almost devoid of emotion. We were in the process of taking over my the family business…as she worked out in the business plan, when she started questioning my every move and decision. Not to piss off the guys who read Good Enough Mother, but in (some of) their minds, emotion is one step away from hysteria and there ain’t no gettin’ the horse back in the barn once that happens. But let me reiterate again, this is a last resort because it could open up a whole host of problems between you and Fred. Through the course of all of this my husband apologized profusely and our relationship has become much stronger.
We did leave the family business…and opened our own business where we make more money than she ever paid us!



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