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March 17, 2014 by Bryan 180 Comments A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women, especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention my wife and family early in the conversation. Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and strong. Even though those were just a couple quick examples, I know there are a few of you out there that need to step up your role as a husband.
Now that I have your attention, here are 5 things every married man should do around single women.
A married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple great and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his office or place of work. I really like that this article offers men sound and practical advise about promoting to others the happiness and importance of the marriage relationship.
Hannah, first off, thank you for taking the time to read the article and share your thoughts. In regards to the predatory statement, please understand that the intent of the article was to not diminish the value of women in any way; instead it was to make men aware of their actions around women other than their wife.
As a tip for Hannah, When you find yourself with men or even one man, always remember that there are two points of view from the man.
I do not believe that Hannah implied she only seeks advice about marriage from her married friends but that she looks to them as individuals and as a couple to be an example in all ways. Finally, I think it is great that you have good relationships with married couples, including the men. Yes, trust definitely makes a HUGE difference, as well as the fact that in my circle of friends and co-workers, we are all Christians (as opposed to a secular workplace, where it is probably much more difficult). In closing, I believe this article has already helped many men and marriages that might have been in trouble.
Bryan, as a single, attractive Christian woman, I can tell you that his choice of words was not extreme.
My husband works in a predominately female workplace and he always texts or calls to let me know when a group is going to lunch. He is also really good at introducing me to all of the coworkers he talks to regularly when I visit him.
As I said above as well, future posts will deal with other relationships which, I hope, help you realize my intent was not to alienate single women. You go to a search engine and type in some key words that best correlate with what you’re looking for, and you hit enter. And all of these calculations take … are you ready for this … about a half second! SEO experts work to make sure that every bit of information you’re looking for will be retrieved by search engines in order to bring you the most comprehensive data you need.
So, the next time you type your key words into a search engine to research any topic on the web, think about the billions of data that go into that one half second it takes for you to get your results back. Once you decide that need camouflage, it is immediately obvious the best camouflage a ghillie suit.
Expert hunters, elite snipers and paintball champions all look the ghillie suit when they need ultimate in camouflage. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: it will remind you why you love her so much and it will make for a great conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it. I’m saying to be careful where your eyes travel and how long they travel for when you are in the presence of an attractive single women. Your wife’s feelings are and will always be more important then the woman you need to take these steps with. Lies or hidings will eventually be in the open (or caught) and will cause a lot of heartache. I can appreciate the fact that you found the points to be useful in keeping marriages strong.
At many points in the article I mention to not be rude, to be polite and to be professional to all women. There is definitely discussion going on about the type of relationship you mentioned and others types as well. You must keep in mind that you are talking about married couples who are your close friends.
I dislike the idea that as a married man (married for one year), I now have to act differently.
I feel it would not be wise of me to say to much in response since you suggested that you are a marriage counselor, you know the state of marriage and the problems most likely much better than myself.

Not always knowing how to strike the balance of supporting couples is never caring for single women either. Admitting those weaknesses to those close to you keeps accountability at the forefront where it should be. As long you can control your own mind and your actions, you don’t ever have to worry. Just because someone is married does not mean attraction can’t still form between them, indeed, isn’t that the point of this article?
In no way was this post trying to diminish the value of women, instead it was meant to make men aware of their actions around single women.
It was specifically written to married men to help them keep their marriage strong and healthy.
Sometimes, something goes to the wrong direction just because of our own words, action and close interaction around single women.
About a half second later, pages and pages of data materialize like magic, right there in front of your eyes. They’re actually asking more than 200 questions of all the websites they encounter in order to optimize your search and bring you the most relevant data.
By the way, if you’re wondering how much information is being disseminated, this will give you an idea. Without SEO, your research might not produce the thorough and far-reaching results you require in your searches. And think about all the SEO experts who are optimizing information in order to bring more clarity and comprehensive information to all of your searches. If you are about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider if you need it on or not, LEAVE! Update the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your relationship is continuing to grow. You know that once you engage in the first serious look you have signed the dotted line for more eye trouble. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn’t. The single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no match to your wife and family. Accountability with another brother is key to success in that area and all the others above.
I also like the fact that you engage with married couples, both the man and the woman, to find out more about marriage. I think friends are friends, and I’ve never let the boundaries be crossed by myself or anyone else.
I do, however, feel your choice of words were much more extreme than what was represented in the article. Those attitudes express a married man who is publicly able to handle himself around other women. If you feel there is much more to the process in dealing with single women as you say, I would be willing to work with you on a possible future article. I have lots of friends that aren’t and are and I feel this applies to both men and women they both flirt.
I trust him so it feels silly for him to do it but he says it keeps him accountable and he will know when something crosses the line if he hesitates to tell me. I think making it about all women would be less accusatory towards single women, indeed, this is all the more important so that those who are single don’t feel even more alienated.
As a single Christian Woman I find it hard to hard to integrate and have genuine conversation with people without all this going on.
With the divorce rate so high, more men need to be aware of the importance of their marriage and what actions will help them protect it. By 1998, Google’s index already had 26 million pages, and it reached one billion pages by the year 2000! Imagine your search engine’s many spiders reaching out to all the thousands of computers out there, locating billions of pages and links, sifting through it all to maximize your time and bring all the data you need right to your fingertips … like magic! These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Your family should be your first priority wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day. I kept advising him to be careful not to lead any of them on because women tend to have feelings to men who give them extra attentions. It makes sense for married couples to teach and help singles in their relationships and in their future marriage endeavors. So just engage meaningful conversation with men protectors and you won’t have any problem. This is of course wrong, and my goal was to make men aware of those facts and provide tools for keeping their marriage relationship safe and strong. Now, I realize that this was written for the men, and this us try to help them when they are tempted to let their minds wander wrongly, but it comes at the cost of implying that single women (who are often serious fans of virtue and fidelity in men because they long for that someday in their lives) are dangerous, even if just to the man’s mind. I do agree that this applies to married women as well, and I hope to have another post out soon that deals specifically with the relationship of married men to married women.

If the other person is married or not you should have the self control to do all the above, because that is what being married is all about! I have personally known women who have either cheated on their husbands, stolen from their husbands, flirted with other men (single and married) while married to their husbands, even leave their husbands for another man who is either married, or single, or in a crumbling relationship. Having healthy relationships with people at church and going on missions when there are always other people around to keep everyone accountable is one thing, but the church is full of adulterers just as the world is. If she is cool with you still engaging with other women with her not around, then you are good to go. That is great until you start having little disagreements that build up, start a job that puts you around beautiful women or place yourself around friends that don’t have a wife to be responsible for.
Married man to married women, single man to single women, married women to single men, etc… I hope that will help you better appreciate and understand why it was written this way. When this happens, you have to make the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way by mentioning your beautiful wife and family. I feel a personal conversation shouldn’t ever reach these external conversations in the first place. This is a no brainer for those that are in a good relationship, but men flirt with married women as well, my wife have men that are extra nice to her at work because she is a woman and maybe could use a “little help” even with her wedding ring on! Men are not exempt from feelings and emotions, no more or less than woman are, and women are not exempt from desires of cheating no more or less than men are. Most people go to a search engine such as Google or Yahoo, type in a topic or a few key words, and hit enter. Seriously, get out of that situation, your vows, marriage, children and more depend on those important decisions. These men have helped me with a car problem, offered to install a flood light on my back porch, hooked up a router for my internet. I think, (IMO) that one of the greatest things marital relationships suffer from other than financial stress, and infidelity issues, is the never ending changing roles of genders that stemmed from the women’s lib movement. And Satan continues to vehemently tear away at this very basic union sanctioned by the One True God. And yes, you must be able to control your own mind and know when boundaries are needed or not. And, though the answer to the question is no, you didn’t search the whole internet, you did search a pretty sizable portion of it.
The Happiest People Simply Appreciate Things Watch Your Character, It Becomes Your Destiny. You might have had the choice many times to engage in flirty conversation or go out with co-workers after work.
Frankly, my experience in marriage counseling has been that more often it’s two married people commiserating about the trials of spouse and family that is the spark and powder keg of mental (and other) infidelity. If this is you and your wife is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your position as the husband and leader.
Secondly, he is hiding things, meaning the msgs he is having the girls are not so innocence type. Nevertheless, if there is one thing that cannot, nor ever will be changed, it will be a man’s innate desire and ability to procreate in this world naturally! My hat’s off to Bryan for encouraging men to recognize the inherent vulnerability God has created in us, that can lead to lust, sin, sorrow, heartbreak, destruction of families, and divorce. After Adam accepted the offer from Eve, God turned His attention from Eve and confronted Adam, who promptly blamed Eve, and then had the temerity to blame God Himself for giving Eve to him as his wife! Take the necessary steps to make your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t forget it. This pattern of mankind to defer responsibility to someone else has been repeated ad nauseum ever since. From there, they retrieve the pages those links point to, and Google’s spiders follow those links to more pages and more links, and then they follow them to more pages and links, and so on, until Google has indexed literally billions of pages that are stored on thousands of computers. All I can do is pray for a pure heart and deflect the conflict that arises from couples when behavior prompting this article arises. If and after we have become His children, we are frequently guilty of disobeying His commands or falling short of His glory, and need our fellowship restored through our confession (acknowledgment) of our sin(s).
A man has to give himself to God DAILY and let his old self die for strength and hope that he can get through the day unaffected by the bombardment. Couple all that with having to work with ladies around you and keep your mind pure is terrible difficult, it takes a ton of self discipline and giving all impure thoughts to God, right then and there. We have categorized all quotes with different topics and tags like love quotes, inspirational, motivational, life, friendship, success, smile, achievement and belief quotes.
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