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admin 12.06.2014

And yes, this once, I’m talking pretty much exclusively to the ladies here (not ALL ladies, but enough to allow me to generalize a bit).
Think about this: What does your husband do for you that you may have been taking for granted? Now, if you realize that you really kind of need him to notice your sexiness and ravish you, it certainly speaks to an insecurity which you’ll want to address. If the action is ridiculous or triggers his own fears, then you have even more to talk about.
Once you’ve become aware of whatever insecurity was being triggered, and even better, have said it out loud to someone, chances are very good that this trigger will lose a lot of its power. Instead of demanding that your husband take out the garbage, ask him to do it and explain to him what it means to you. Finally, someone who understands that I bought those new boxers FOR ME, so *I* can feel sexy and loved.
But now that you mention it, they’re actually Ed Hardy black boxer-briefs with bold red trim and the passionate, gaping maw of a tiger on the c*ck part. I have to stop now because my head is filling with dirty, dirty jokes to make at your boxer’s expense (Tigers are part of the feline family.
Well let us know what you mean by that and equality if you have a link to stuff you’ve written about it. I have a strong, personal policy with myself that I only engage in discussions that feel they’ll be powerfully uplifting, fun, and easy for all parties involved. So I see by your answer you would like having a partner that made you hard in public as there’s a balance and not just one person doing everything or having all the fun!
With my best friends…psychics or empaths have a great amount of trouble telling us apart! When we walk into a room with an empath they always exclaim how my best friend and I feel almost identical and just feed off each other and raise each other up. Having an energy twin is also pretty cool when writing texts, emails etc you can imagine the pranks!
I knew the LOA would bring me to a site that’s both enlightening, dirty, and slightly weird at the same time. We tend to treat our families worse than others because they trigger us more than others do. Oh Vishnu, LOL, are you telling me that the men of today are not interested in getting to know their women on a much deeper level?
This week from John Gottman's Book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", we talk about the art of compromise in marriage.
As we continue thru the Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, this week we are in chapter 6! Most men, when they are resistant to the influence of their wives will resort to one of the four horsemen and escalate the disagreement. Using one of the four horsemen to escalate a conflict is a telltale sign that a man is resisting his wife’s influence. Accepting influence doesn’t mean never expressing negative emotions toward your partner. Studies have shown that marriages where the husband resists sharing power are four times more likely to end or drone on unhappily in marriages where the husband does not resist. With more than 60% of married women working, the males role as the sole breadwinner is on the wane. Culturally, we are shifting, even though it isn’t always an easy shift because roles are passed down from generation to generation. A willingness to share power and to respect the other person’s view is a prerequisite of compromising. The exercises in this chapter are all about role play and what would you do if you were a husband and your wife presented a situation where you needed to be influenced. The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. If you do this intentionally with the good things your spouse does with you and for you, it could change your relationship. Then I was listening to a podcast (like I do) and heard about a neuroscientist who has done all this brain research (like they do).
The neuroscientist said that when our brains experience something negative, those negative thoughts are like velcro. This explains why we can hold on to anger and resentments with our spouses and others, and call them up immediately…but totally forget those positive moments that we want to remember.
The key is intentionally savoring those good things, so they become embedded in your brain and take up more space than the negative thoughts. As we continue our reading of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, this week, we talk about turning toward your spouse.
This chapter opens with author John Gottman describing how he watches many videos of couples from his lab. In couples who go on to divorce or live together unhappily, such small moments of connection are rare. He says that these little turns toward our spouse are the catalyst for a healthy marriage and relationship.
We don’t think that such little instances can hold so much weight in our marriages, but they do!
Simply to be aware of how crucial these mundane moments are, not only to your marriage and stability, but to its ongoing sense of romance… Being helpful to each other will do far more for the strength and passion of your marriage than a two week Bahamas getaway.
In chapter one, Gottman suggested that conversation techniques wouldn’t necessarily help a marriage. The Stress Reducing conversation (pgs 36-37 of this handout) is a great tool to use for any conversation, in my opinion.
We need to turn toward each other and connect in those little moments, but to figure out what those look like takes paying attention and talking about it with your spouse – because no two people and no two marriages are exactly the same. You have to do the work together to determine what you need and how you need it for your specific relationship.
It’s natural to make the fundamental error of assuming the distance and loneliness are all your partners fault. Those lines are part of one of the exercises (the accepting influence questionnaire, pg 38) to help determine what role you play in the difficulties that you face as a couple.
So, I was intrigued the other night when he told me about a girl he was interested in in his class.
He then continued on to discuss how HIS best friend in class likes HER best friend in class. Fondness and Admiration are two critical elements in a long lasting romance with your spouse. In Chapter 4, we learn from John Gottman’s research that contempt is a killer in marriage.
Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. When you think positively about your spouse – it makes it easier to get through the difficult times. I realized that we can recall the history of our relationship pretty well, but when it comes time for arguments (because they always happen!) that I am not great at reminding myself of the positive qualities of my wife. Do you have healthy friendships with people who believe you can make it in the good times and the bad? What about those that are in an outer circle, but are extremely supportive, and excited about you and your marriage? We have to make the choices, not just for our personal relationships, but also for the relationships that influence our marriages. We made it to week three and chapter three of The Seven Principles for making marriage work! This week, we start getting into the exercises and principles to help move our marriages in a positive direction.
This chapter listed for different exercises to help begin building your love map with your spouse. As we continue further on, you will realize that this book is very exercise heavy, and will be much more helpful if you participate with the material. But there is something about us being in one another’s presence that makes my wife happy. Over the years, Gottman  has paid attention to signs that lead him to believe that a couple will divorce.
One signal of a rocky conversation that can lead down the path to divorce is a harsh startup.
The four horseman are four types of negativity that can mess with your marriage. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Criticism isn’t the worst of the four horsemen, but it does open up the door to the other three, so watch out for it. Defensiveness is when you blame the other spouse, which is easy to do when a conversation gets heated. Flooding means that your spouse’s negativity- whether in the guise of criticism or contempt or even defensiveness- is so overwhelming, and so sudden, that it leaves you shell-shocked. The four horsemen, and flooding make it more difficult for a couple to respond to repair attempts. The last determining factor for Gottman’s research in predicting a divorce was sour memories. The first time I read this this book I was frustrated and disheartened after this chapter. I noticed a lot of these things in Lisa and my marriage which Bummed. The post 5 ways to Make Stupendous Love in Your Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. We are spending several weeks reading John Gottman's 'The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work'.
When we have a healthy thriving marriage, our immune systems get a positive kick in the pants. Of course, that is why he wrote this book – to fill us in on what really works to help marriages thrive.
Gottman suggests that being friends in marriage is at the center of making a marriage work. When the positivity in a marriage is greater than the negative – it supports a good marriage. Those marriages that believe in one anothers’ dreams and aspirations develop a deeper connection and meaning with their spouse. The post 6 Stumbling Blocks to a Stupendous Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. In today’s culture, is that even possible? The news would have us believe that couples are cheating, divorcing and falling apart left and right! Whether you believe that story or not, the truth remains that it takesmore than one person to fill all the needs in our lives.
I believe that my relationship with my spouse is the most important relationship I will have on this planet; however, if I make my mate the one and only center of my universe, my life is gonna be screwy. Feelings come and go. To make your marriage last you have to be committed to your spouse no matter how you feel. The romantic feelings may come and go, but your feelings of togetherness and bondedness don’t have to stop. Have you acknowledged and dealt with your past  so it doesn’t negatively bind your marriage? The post Husbands: Have a Better Prayer Life by Working on Your Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. Whenever I read books about prayer, it makes me want to be a better pray-er, but I get frustrated because I’m no George Muller. Somewhere into about my 30th book on marriage that I had read after a horrible vacation with our extended family, I picked up Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage. I had read the verse, but had never thought about what it meant for my marriage, or my prayer life. These two things,  Prayer and marriage, help us realize we don’t have it all figured out.
When we were first married, I put our relationship on the back burner. I assumed all would be amazing after we stood at the altar.
I let things coast until year five when we went on that vacation from hell I mentioned earlier. A blistering version of a€?Stagger Leea€? occurs seven tracks deep into Danielle Miragliaa€™s most recent album, Box of Troubles.
So it is that Danielle Miraglia puts her own stamp on a€?Stagger Lee.a€? Of course, ita€™s not her own composition, but surely a cornerstone of her repertoire. An interview with this refreshingly affable, down-to-earth performer reveals how she became the player and writer she is today. While her musical aspirations took a back seat during her college career, there was still some dabbling.
When Danielle left Emerson, she felt lost for a while, describing herself as a€?unfocused.a€? She wasna€™t able to translate a degree in writing into meaningful employment. Danielle had a fantasy about moving to Arizona and starting a whole new life out there, getting a fresh start. Her first songs, coming off the dissolution of a relationship were (again) a€?cheesy breakup songs,a€? she said. At that point, she was a€?writing a ton,a€? and within about six months she enlarged her repertoire to six decent songs and another six months to beginning her first recording.
In addition to the strong, steady thumb beat on the bass strings, Danielle also uses a hollow foot stomp, sometimes amplified.


I asked her about the guitars shea€™s favored and she mentioned that the Yamaha her boyfriend got her in high school was a nice beginnera€™s guitar (he took it back when they broke up a€” song opportunity!). Danielle feels that her first two CDs were of little consequence a€” a part of the learning process a€” and that her recording career started in earnest with the album, Nothing Romantic. In a€?You dona€™t Know Nothin,a€™a€? a reaction to some right-wing radio talk shows, Danielle flashes metaphoric sharpness.
The a€?eight oa€™clock shadowa€? then displays his own ignorance, condemning abortion rights marchers on the bara€™s television.
Although I first got cold-cocked by a€?Stagger Leea€? and a€?Loud Talkera€? from Daniellea€™s latest CD, Box of Troubles, there are other standouts. Wea€™re ecstatic that wea€™ve caught up to this supremely intelligent and talented performer. Danielle has had purists disagree with her about not following original styles note-for-note. That picture has nothing to do with the article, but I like the article itself- 14 exercises you can do lying down!
The incident has triggered a deep seeded insecurity of some kind (or several) and when you find yourself completely losing your shit over something so seemingly minor, you’ve assigned a tremendous amount of meaning to this otherwise, unimportant task. Women tend to yearn for security in relationships and since the people closest to us are the most powerful mirrors of our beliefs, both limiting and otherwise, our romantic partnerships tend to trigger our insecurities and abandonment issues. He can explain to you why he thinks your request is unreasonable or what he’d be willing to do instead to show you how he feels. Simply naming your insecurity will cause you to notice when you’re feeling this way and will often be enough to stop you from blowing up. Otherwise, you’re just shouting insults at each other and reacting from a place of pain.
This is the value of family – they annoy us more than anyone else and are willing to show us the darkest of our most limiting beliefs. Now sure, if a man isn’t all that self aware either, he may decide to take the garbage out just because it will stop triggering his wife. I almost found myself wishing, as I reached the end of this post, I could bully my husband. We talk sex, kids, inlaws, money, communication and anything else about building a stupendous marriage.
They answer listener question about marriage issues and highlight great writers, thinkers and speakers who are passionate about marriage and healthy relationships. Rather than acknowledging his wife’s feelings, this husband is using the four horsemen to drown her out, to obliterate her point of view. You can still have emotional responses, but ultimately it boils down to working together to find a win for both spouses. For generations, men were the sole provider for the home and were not as involved in raising kids.
Increasingly women’s jobs provide them with a source not only of income and economic power but of self esteem as well.
That sense of responsibility and entitlement gets passed down from father to son in so many subtle ways that revising the husband’s role can be a challenge for many men. We have to learn how to do it well, and it seems to be harder for men (at least according to Gottman) to adjust. For that reason, becoming more adept at acccepting influence will help you cope far better with marital conflict. It’s one of the original books on marriage that encouraged me to begin this blog and podcast. They almost slide out of our brains… unless we intentionally reminisce on them (for at least 15 seconds).
Many people think that the secret to reconnecting with their partner is a candlelit dinner or a by-the-sea vacation. If our spouse is asking for some sort of attention – or you have an opportunity to make a small connection – we should take it!
This doesn’t help (most times) because people don’t usually communicate well when they fight! There are times when you feel drawn to your loved one and times when you feel the need to pull back and replenish your sense of economy.
I am a big advocate for owning your crap – meaning, taking responsibility for your part in the marriage.
It’s one of the original books on marriage that helped me begin this blog and podcast. Boys and girls – getting to know someone for who they are on the inside helps with ANY relationship!
The best way to battle and ultimately defeat contempt is by nurturing two very important things in your marriage.
Although happily married couples may feel driven to distraction it times by their partners personality flaws, I still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect.
The best ways to determine if you still have an inkling of fondness and admiration for your spouse, is by thinking and talking about your history together as a couple.
But, if you have negative distorted memories of your history together, your F and A might need some polish. If you maintain a sense of respect for your spouse, you’re less likely to act disgusted with him or her when you disagree. The better in touch you are with your deep-seated positive feelings for each other, the less likely you are to act contemptuous of your spouse when you have a difference of opinion. 27-28) You come up with 3 characteristics of your spouse that you like, then, write about a specific incident where it was displayed. This is a great exercise that if you started this week, could be done by the time we reach the end of this book. This chapter asks "how well do you know your spouse?" - and shows us how to do that better. When life happens and your world is rocked (it’s not an IF, but a WHEN), one of the MAIN ways to help during that season is to have invested the time and energy with them to be connected to their world. I went looking online to see if I could find some resources to help, if you haven’t read the book, or purchased it yet to read along. Even if your spouse doesn’t participate, I would challenge you to do as much as you can on your own. This means starting conversations on a negative note – with anger, criticism or sarcasm.
You feel so defenseless against this sniper attack that you learn to do anything to avoid a replay. If a spouse does not respond well to a repair attempt, The four horsemen trample the conversation.
Meaning, if you do something fun and novel with your spouse, you feel more connected to them because your brain has released chemicals of excitement and bonding at the same time. This relates to the adventure element from above – take up hobbies with your spouse, or learn to enjoy some of the things that they love. His “love lab” being an apartment of sorts where he actively spies on couples and records their behaviours!
I know we are all wired for relationships – not just in marriage, but this very important relationship that we live out day after day has so much to do to help or hinder our physical health. We talk a lot about learning how to communicate as a couple, but Gottman says that that is not the basis of good marital therapy or even super helpful for couples! When negative feelings get to be greater than the positive feelings, it takes more work to get back to the positive side of things. The movement can be cute or funny, or something completely unique, but it is an active attempt to deescalate. Even in re-reading this first chapter, I have forgotten many things in the years since I read it the first time! Yet, the longer I’ve been married the more I see how easy it is to lose your footing on the foundations of your marriage. Being a guy who is trying to align his life with the Bible, I tend to go back to the story about Adam and Eve. It comes when we together as husband and wife believe we are engaged in a relationship that makes a difference and has meaning. When we start comparing our marriage to other marriages, we set our relationships up for failure.
You also need to keep growing yourself which will make YOU more interesting to your spouse!
Where can you take the time to go deep with your spouse and solve something that may seem complex? That we need someone else to bounce ideas off of – or to give us a good swift kick in the right direction. A learning (and relearning) to be humble with that person who shares the same bed with you. If you work on your marriage, it forces you to get out of isolation and actually talk to that other person in the relationship. Tom Bianchi, her husband and producer on this album, uses an electric violin, a blues harp and a sinuous lead electric guitar with a wah-wah pedal to sustain the cloud of doom that hangs over this historic piece. Her family lived in Everett until she was 8, then moved to nearby Revere, where she grew up. As kids will, she and some friends tried to form a band, even though no one actually played an instrument. She took a couple of lessons from the aforementioned frienda€™s father who was going to teach her friends to play their instruments. Using an acoustic guitar, shea€™d get together with a friend back home to play and write songs. Her first stop was the open mic at The Kendall Cafe in Cambridge (now closed), just to a€?check it out.a€? She saw people who were very advanced and some raw beginners. However, a€?They had grit to them.a€? Although she cringes when she looks back on her early writing, she still feels that the songs werena€™t all that bad considering her level of development. She was a fan of the late Janis Joplin and would belt her songs out, Janis-style,without giving thought to vocal dynamics or microphone control.
Additionally, she studied the Stefan Grossman transcriptions (written and audio) of the guitar of Mississippi John Hurt. Shea€™s been told, a€?If youa€™re not doing it exactly the way they did it, youa€™re not doing it.a€? For Danielle, ita€™s all about enjoying it and getting into the a€?feela€? of it [we agree]. Although shea€™d seen performers like Chris Smither use this sort of device, she never intended to copy it.
She later got an Ovation, then a Guild and then found her first love in a Gibson [lots of blues in those Gibsons]. Thata€™s about when we made her acquaintance (as well as taking note of her impact at the 2009 Northeast Regional Folk Alliance Conference). She uses a nimble Mississippi John Hurt-style fingerpicking pattern for this philosophical gem.
Tongue-in-cheek, she asks for a drum machine, and, in a reference to Robert Johnson, Tell me where the roads cross, Ia€™m ready to sell my soul. Ita€™s a plus that finding out how good a writer she is now reinforces our first impression of a highly energetic blues artist. I asked her if everything was all right, and she eruptedA in anger about something her husband had done to her.
You get the kids off to school, having packed their lunches, signed their permission slips, and mediated their fight about who has cooties (or the Black Death.
Men, on the other hand, tend to want freedom, so their partnerships tend to trigger their fears around being controlled, smothered and trapped.
Just as you tell him that you love him by cooking his favorite meal, he may well be doing the same thing in a myriad of ways. But when he comes home, he’s tired, pecks you on the cheek, turns on the Sports Channel, and pops open a beer. Tell him that you need him to tell you in words, not because you don’t know that he loves you, but because you need to hear it in order to feel that good.
By talking about it openly, honestly and authentically, you both have a chance to get what you need from the other and stop disappointing each other in ridiculous and unnecessary ways.
Being aware of how you feel is the first step in being able to notice your reactions and change them. That is why you hear stories about someone killing their spouse because they bought the wrong peanut butter or something like that! It’s uncomfortable, but ultimately, the most healing, if we choose to pay attention to the messages. Instead of please take out the garbage, I think men now will hear the reasoning of how garbage = love, respect, devotion, loyalty. He wants her to be happy and if this little gesture means so much to her, then he’s wiling to do it. In that case it’s more about pride than it is about serving and loving your spouse well by letting them influence you. A significant number of the core issues we see between couples today have to do with this change in gender roles. I wanted to reread some of those first books to renew my dedication to healthy marriage, and also to go deeper for myself.
Wounds, however, leave scars.” — Bertolt Brecht Why are we wired to remember the bad things and forget the good?
Anyway, he talks in one video about taking the time to stop and contemplate the good that’s going on in your life.
Turning toward is the basis of emotional connection, romance, passion, and a good sex life.


Watching them is suspenseful because I know: couples who turned toward each other remain emotionally engaged and stay married.
So instead, he suggests using those good conversation techniques to reconnect with your spouse, not when you are fighting! But definitely when you are having those reconnecting conversations about anything OTHER than a stressful topic in your marriage.
There’s a wide spectrum of normal needs in this area– some people have a greater and more frequent need for connection, others for independence. In order to break the pattern, you both need to admit playing some role (however slight at first) in creating the problem. When this sense is completely missing from the marriage, the relationship cannot be revived. Gottman suggests that husbands do this more than wives, but it can happen to either spouse. When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they were kicked out of paradise where all their needs were met. We long to be part of something meaningful and for our lives to be engaged in something that makes a difference.
A documentary about two brothers whose real life neighbor was Fred Rogers, and the impact Fred made in their life.
Likely during the writing of this very blog post Lisa will come in and ask me a question and I will half-heartedly give a response. Are you expecting God to heal areas that only He can – or are you trying to shoulder all the burden?
He addressed feelings of fear and anger and confusion and identity – and he talked about them thru themes in his shows.
You can stay locked in the past – bound by whatever it was, OR it can help you understand what your current hang ups might be. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Danielle had a Casio keyboard; a frienda€™s father played guitar, so it was assumed that hea€™d show others in the group how to play their instruments. There were writing courses of every kind, including journalism, childrena€™s writing and poetry.
She figured, a€?OK, I can fit into this mixa€¦ I can pull this off.a€? She signed up to play the following week and found that others were very polite, offering encouragement. It wasna€™t until she got to the open mic of blues master Geoff Bartley at the Cantab Lounge that her mistakes were pointed out. The practice really evolved from using a foot stomp on stage to keep rhythm and provide percussion. It actually took another year for her to digest and learn what Geoff had taught her.A  a€?It was like I got all the food and then I processed it,a€? she told me. Attracting a partner whose insecurities cause her to go apeshit over a bag of garbage, by the way, plays right into those fears. But honestly, if your best friend came by today and you asked her to take out the garbage on her way out and she forgot, would you feel the same emotions? What does his REFUSAL to take out the garbage (which is also in your head; forgetting is not the same as consciously refusing) say about how he feels about you? When he takes your car to get the oil changed without even being asked, he’s telling you he loves you. He may not understand what that meal means, and you may not understand what cleaning the garage means. I know at one point some outside stressors were leading me and my boyfriend to fight a bit more and we rarely fight like that, more like having discussions. The wonderful thing is that once you admit to the neuroses, they often just sort of melt away.
Lisa happens to be the main monetary provider, but my role of taking care of the home duties and homework,  allows for her to continue to provide – and do something she loves.
You can join in by purchasing the book and reading along with us, and leaving comments here or at the Facebook group. A marriage can work even if people fall on opposite ends of the spectrum–as long as they’re able to understand the reason for their feelings and respect their differences. Join in by purchasing the book and reading along with us, and leaving comments here or at the Facebook group.
If anything is broken outside the bedroom, it usually reflects in the bedroom (with a lack of sex). He didn’t want to change us, he loved us as he found us everyday in front of the tube.
He would pray that God would make the ground between the tv set and where a child sat watching – Holy Ground. And when we take the time to think deeply, or slow down and have a conversation or just be in one anothers presence, we can connect in ways that aren’t possible when we are shallowly skimming the surface. She credits two older boys, her upstairs neighbors, in helping to add to her musical knowledge.
She went back again and again and found a€?a whole new crew of friends.a€? They were a€?on the same wavelength,a€? she said.
On a gig where she needed to use a box for added height, she found herself rhythmically tapping on the box and liking the sound. Although she told me that her husband Tom hosts it now, shea€™s still listed as the host on The Burren website.
Danielle developed a a€?roguea€? mixture of what Geoff taught her and the Grossman transcriptions. And in between sips of coffee and a quick kiss on the cheek, you ask the love of your life to do ONE STINKING THING: To take out the garbage. Meanwhile, your husband, for whom the bag of garbage is just a bag of garbage, has no idea why you’ve gone to your crazy place.
What I am saying is that your husband has no idea that you’ve come to see the taking out of the garbage as a representation of his love for you. When gets angry because your mother said something hurtful to you, he’s telling you that he loves you. For your husband, it means that he’s tired and his laser like focus on unwinding blinded him to the new dress. Being someone that is very self-reflective, I was always aware that there were bigger issues at play and they were fueling my behavior. Only, instead of them feeling helpless and even defensive about it, now we have a chance to work through it together.
Bottom line – man takes out garbage to avoid hearing about meaning of taking out the garbage! We have a good relationship – and use humor to deal with the stuff when we freak each other out.
He in turn, created a show where people were encouraged and built up – not made fun of.
Danielle and another friend, Brenda, who Danielle said, a€?has a twisted sense of humor,a€? would write songs with ridiculous lyrics. For Danielle, they included John Irving (for his humor as well as his dramatic flair), Tim Oa€™Brien (Vietnam War novelist, not the bluegrass performer), satirist David Sedaris and Lorrie Moore (a€?humorous and poignant short storiesa€? a€” Wikipedia).
There was an epiphany of sorts in that they both realized life is too short to waste on doing things you have no love for. Later, she asked a friend to follow her design to make a hollow device like a footrest that she could attach to her stool. Also, she mentioned that it seemed less desperate than standing when playing in a noisy bar.
For Danielle, they includedA  John Irving (for his humor as well as his dramatic flair), Tim Oa€™Brien (Vietnam War novelist, not the bluegrass performer), satirist David Sedaris and Lorrie Moore (a€?humorous and poignant short storiesa€? a€” Wikipedia).
She finds it fundamentally impossible to repeat someone elsea€™s stylings note-for-note a€” shea€™ll develop her own version instead. TheyA can choose to be forgiving and merciful, allowing the conflict and the improper attitudes and behaviorA to be covered by the blood of Jesus. To him, it really is just a stupid bag of garbage and whether or not it gets taken out today is pretty much irrelevant to him. We are honest with each other to a fault and while that may sometimes involve us saying things to each other that might be tough for the other to hear, it really helps prevent a lot of tension. Enjoy worship services together, talk to one another about dreams and visions for the future – your independent dreams and those you have together.
His cardigans and shoe swapping let me know things were going to be ok, and he liked me just the way I was. However the world views her as a blues singer, shea€™s well-prepared for original songwriting. Danielle also studied from an instructional DVD of Mississippi John Hurta€™s guitar style by Happy Traum and John Sebastian that combined video and tablature transcription.
Not just men and women, but people communicate very differently and we all associate love with different actions. Try to be the type of person worthy of their love and respect, instead of demanding it from them. When she returned home, Danielle began attending open mics, kick-starting what would become her career.
I would be putting together help desk manuals, and then Ia€™d write a song about how miserable I was. The association between the garbage and his love for you is in your mind, which he can’t read. We never hesitated to say our I love yous and appreciated whenever the situation called for it. The male of the species got off easy this time, but that doesna€™t mean she hasna€™t been watching. Then Ia€™d tell someone to re-boot their computer, which is usually the solution to every problem. We all seriously cared for each other, and in a sense, that removed all the trivial shit out of the way. She tinkered around with some acoustic fingerstyle guitar while in high school, copying selected songs by Randy Rhodes and the band, Heart. The implication is that the husbands and wives to whom Peter was writing were already carrying out these improper and destructive actions; therefore, he was strongly warning andA forbidding them to stop this wrong behavior. And then, when the man who makes your heart sing comes home, the avenging angel of household chores and Patron Saint of Overreactors bursts out of your chest and eats his face off. It’s just that it never occurred to him that some seemingly tiny and insignificant action like putting the cap back on the toothpaste or putting the toilet seat down or noticing your new haircut could represent the width and breadth of his feelings for you. You could say that this word pictures a person who is determined to do to someone else exactly what the offender didA to him.
Ia€™m telling you, friend, this is the wrong route to take!A What you sow is exactly what you reap.
It is far better for you to sow mercy and forgivenessA than to get into the business of sowing bitterness.
This Greek word tells us exactly what the husbands and wives to whom Peter was writing must have beenA feeling.
This wordA loidoria pictures a person who feels (whether or not those feelings are based on actual truth) that he or she has beenA ill-treated, misused, berated, and abused. This person considers himselfA victimized, oppressed, mishandled, harassed, manhandled, violated, defiled, imposed upon wrongly, debased,A and humiliated.
When compounded together, the word eulogia means good, swell, wonderful, and pleasurable words.A You can be sure that at some point along the way, your spouse will disappoint you and let youA down.
Even if he or she doesna€™t mean to do it, it will happen simply because your mate is human orA because you have expectations that are impossible for anyone to meet 100 percent of the time.A So when your flesh gets riled up and feels like it has been violated or mistreated, dona€™t immediately blow your top and start acting ugly in response. If youa€™ll let the Holy Spirit work in you, He will show you how to return kindness for every injustice you perceive has been done to you.
A wrong response from you will only aggravate the situation andmake it worse.A Instead of paying back acts of unkindness with harsh, retaliatory remarks or calculated acts of revenge, make the decision that you are going to respond to every incident by speaking a blessing over your spouse! In other words, when you think of something negative that your spouse has done, determine not to give in to the urges of your flesh to retaliate.
Choose instead to return those inconsiderate acts with words of love.A If something has happened that tempts you to be bitter, refuse to take offense. Instead of responding with words that attack and tear down your spouse, decide that youa€™re going to speakwords that build him or her up. Instead of paying back an insult with an insult, make the decision to speak a blessing!A That day when the woman sitting next to me on the airplane talked about how she was going to pay her husband back for the things he had done to her, I could see that she was headed down a road of revenge that would only aggravate her situation. Ita€™s all right to talk about things that disappoint you, but that kind of discussion needs to take place in a healthy, productive way. Even though my spouse has been wrong as well,A he (or she) couldna€™t have been any uglier or more hurtful than I was when I spoke thoseA harsh, retaliatory words.
Please help me to become more like Jesus a€” to release blessing afterA blessing as I speak only words of kindness to my spouse. I refuse to get into the retaliation business, for I am called to be in the blessing business! What happened when you responded to a bad situation with words of kindnessA instead of with retaliatory remarks?
Are you willing to ask the Holy Spirit to prepare you for the next time you faceA a potentially explosive situation in your marriage?



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