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How To Not Make Business Relationships WorkPosted on October 23, 2013 by Rob • 0 CommentsToday a colleague asked me in my opinion what does not make a business relationship work. Those people who refuse to pay for professional services even after they say they will hire you.
Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.2. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. Holding the Relationship HostageWhat It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole.
Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing.


One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.4. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), you will develop codependent tendencies. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses.
But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example.


Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship.
Communicate!There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment.
But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues. Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good. If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line. This is the part of the website where I put a big toothy grin on my face and scream “BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!” at you in hopes to hold your attention for more than 30 milliseconds.Because wait, there actually is more. If you’d like to learn more about where some of the ideas from these articles came from and hear my responses to critical feedback, and if you’re interested in hearing me answer reader questions like I’m Anne fucking Landers and talk a bit more about my own experiences, my business ventures, and what I eat for breakfast on Sundays, well, then there actually is more.



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