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admin 14.03.2016

Some people prefer text emails, in fact they may even block or disable HTML emails from displaying. Email spam filters have gotten much more aggressive over the years, and many filters scan both the HTML and plain text content for possible triggers (not having a plain text version at all could be an even bigger spam flag). Many email applications are still severely out-dated and lacking in support for even basic HTML rendering.
I share my little rules for myself because many of the people I hear from who are struggling with unhealthy relationships or with breaking unhealthy habits have issues around dealing with conflict and criticism, and think nothing of arguing or even telling someone about themselves via text or email. Arguing or telling someone about themselves via text and email is actually a form of passive aggressive and at times aggressive behaviour.
Texts and emails are low effort, can be sent instantly (I know some of you even track to see when they’ve been opened!) and if the other person wants to respond or even go toe-to-toe with you, they can do so immediately. The instant send and reply is a problem in itself because you would hope that if you had to put pen to paper, get a stamp, stick the letter in the postbox, that you’d consider your actions very carefully. Arguing via text and email can give you a sense of control over a person and a situation where you might not feel that you have any. Words can dress up hot air and package bullshit as roses but on the flip side, when sent in haste without respect, due consideration and used to express anger and opinions about a person, words can look and sound very offensive. Tone is very open to interpretation and heated texts and arguments can be very intimidating.
Conflict is what arises from misunderstandings and conflicts in opinions and yes, sometimes in values.
If you truly like, love, or respect someone, show how much you value the relationship by raising any issues over the phone or face-to-face. A major bonus of avoiding conflict by text and email and stepping up and having the tricky conversations is that you’ll flush Future Fakers and other shady folk out of your life very quickly.
Cut to last week, when a new work acquaintance, who I hoped was new-work-friend (I had been to his house and met his wife) starts getting very weird and gushy with me, culminating in him showing up to the drop-in art class I attend (which in itself was fine) but making inappropriate comments that felt kind of gross and walking me to my car when it wasn’t necessary, and trying to carry stuff for me and brush the snow off my car when it was way unnecessary. Keep continuing to trust your instincts, stick to what your gut, eyes and ears tell you about this guy. I came to work this morning and found a cloth bag with a piece of chocolate cake in it hanging from my office door. Side note for the above story: The final email was AFTER telling him to his face that I was NOT interested, and also telling my boss that he was being inappropriate. I agree, texting and emails to avoid confrontation are second only to flat out disappearing. While it has been a couple of months and I’ve actively been working through all my anger, sadness, and the myriad of other emotions an affair (and its end)bring, I am relieved that it is over. Hope good for you for confronting him and good for you for ncing him: confront for your emotional health and nc for your emotional health.
To be exact, I would have preferred a video call, in order to see his expressions and hear the voice tone, yet that last month he was rarely on Skype and when he would be, its only for a short time. Plain text & HTML format options — export your texts in style, and embed images directly in the message! Email Text Messages—the easy way to backup text messages and send them from your phone to your email account, computer, or to another person.


I love this app and look forward to using it for many other reasons and to save important threads.—Glenn P. If the thread you choose contains MMS image attachments, they will be sent along with your emailed text messages.
Some of these applications even default to the plain text email if an HTML issue occurs (especially on mobile devices). Basically, I never reply with my first heated response and distract myself in something else. In fact, I’ve even seen arguments take place over tweets and status updates on Facebook but that’s a whole other subject in itself! It’s also likely that because you erupt, you end up feeling guilty for erupting and then invalidate what are likely to be very valid reasons for being pissed off.
They can also undermine your credibility because in the wrong hands, the person who actually may very well be in the wrong will seize upon what you send and use it to legitimise their reasons for their shady behaviour.
Our relationships romantic and otherwise evolve and progress out of learning to interact with one another and to navigate the trickier situations.
Sure who does except for the drama seekers of this world that would have a fight with a paper bag?
Conflict is also what needs to happen when someone is creepy creeping or tap-dancing all over your boundaries.
Yes they might not respond but the person who is only going to do conflict on their terms where they keep at a distance isn’t really going to be going anywhere fast with you.
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. I also forced dignity to put in an appearance and thought all those things combined were worth ?125. I said good night to him with a mental note to self to that this married guy was being a bit douchey and that I’d have to be no more than cordial in our professional interaction.
I would just only respond to the professional emails…definitely trying his had with you. When AC asked me in a very public setting why I was so upset with him, obviously I couldn’t discuss it right there, nor did I want him coming to my home ( I ritually purified it with sage right after his act of supreme assclownery). My ex was already involved with someone secretly when we broke up but I did not find out about it till monthes later, after we had had a civil breakup under false pretenses. I gotta say I agree with this article to a point, but I am never going to let someone get something over on me, and not call them out about it. Anything truly work saying is worth saying in person after careful thought and consideration. I know I was not a victim, I let him bust my boundaries (I had few),didnt demand much, but I guess I took for granted his commitment to us & the relationship. The letter is effective because the story is well written and makes a clear call to action. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you. Shortly after I started working with him, we had a blackout at work, and this was this nutjob’s chance to sidle up to me and tell me he had had a dream about me the previous night.


I wrote him a well crafted, well thought out letter explaining the situation and my feelings about it. Conflict to me meant that people don’t like you or that the relationship is over or that I was disapproved of or that the person was an asshole. He would do things like email me all day long, stupid things like, “How are you doing? I don’t know why I was surprised by his lie of omission since an affair relationship is built on a foundation of lies. While I still struggle at times I can’t put a price on the overwhelming sense of peace I feel with him out of my life. Then I went NC for a few months but finally did meet him for the face to face after he broke me down. So, learning from it and hope it doesn’t happen again, at least if that scenario comes up i will leave it at the first call or text. I like that sweater.” And when I would call in sick, he would call me AT HOME to check on me! Yep, he may have tried to use it against me but it was written in a way that would’ve shown him in an extremely bad light had he shown it to another (asking me to spend a weekend with him, being on line, pursuing me for two years while being involved with someone else ). Even after he left the job and started to work for another company, he would email and call me. After sending it to him, I ritually burned the piece of paper he had written his phone number on for me. I fooled my self into believing this guy actually liked me and blamed most of the issues on the fact that we worked different shifts. Then the roller coaster post break up nonsense started Ughh I am grateful too for this blog and the sharing. But up until the houdini vanishing, we’d spent plenty of time together doing things he liked or i liked and then nothing.
Basically, I told him to KNOCK IT OFF (using more professional language, of course) or I would take legal action.
Normally, if I have to confront someone, I much prefer to do it in person, in a private place, and with dignity. While having a looooong heated message exchange just before New Year’s felt like a good decision at the time, I regret it immensely.
Originally I felt somewhat comforted in that I got to say what a needed to say and give him a litany of ways he hurt me. I do regret that it went down via long angry messages and I will never allow that to happen again!!!



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