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Thank you very much for your letter, emotional abuse is one of the lesser known but very common form abuse in relationships. Emotional abuse is often continual, consistent, and, over time, can work to destroy someone’s self-esteem. Emotional abuse is characterized by heavy criticisms, ridiculous expectations, threats, rejection, neglect, isolation, silent treatment, etc .
Abusers can also sabotage their partner’s support network by forbidding contact with others such as family and friends or by acting jealous and threatening punishment.
Because it is not physically manifested, it is difficult for the abuser or the people around the person being abused to accept that there is actually an abuse going on.
While emotional abuse is damaging, there are often aspects of the relationship that are comfortable, secure, or even happy, that compel people to stay with an abusive person. Develop emotional intelligence -In cases of abuse, both partners are often unknowingly suppressing important emotions. Protect yourself -It’s easy to think that your partner is in charge of your safety depending on his or her behavior, but this is not true. My professional experience is in Management Consulting & I enjoy being outdoors, volunteering and observing social interactions between people.
The summary of emotional abuse captured in the lemon, orange and yellow box contains generalisations which I disagree with.
My frnd is being emotionally abused by her husband and ryt b4 our very eyes, we've watched her turn to sm1 with little or no self esteem left.
Got marid to d man of my drims until few months in I realised I marid a damaged man who feeds on control,power n abusin me to get me to do wat he feels is d right way for a wife.
Emotional abuse is a very common factor here with men that want to control you, it's silent and invisible. Here is the number for the Nigerian based UK trained counsellor run by the NGO Project Alert Violence Against Women it's also the sexual assault hotline. About UsThe Naked Convos is an interactive community designed to create safe spaces where young Africans engage in OPEN and HONEST conversations. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage. Sometimes the girl who’s always been there for everyone else needs someone to be there for her. I think i’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens. I wish I could go back to a time when i could smile and it didn’t take everything in me to do it. You go home, you look in the mirror, you cry, you think you are ugly, you think you are fat, you want to die and the worst thing is, the next day it happens all over again until the day you give up. I don’t think anyone could ever criticize me more severly than the way I viciously criticize myself. Maybe this year Ill get myself off of the floor and try to pretend that things are getting better, That I’m changing but I still feel the same. That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart. It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here in this hole that I can’t climb out of. We are left reflecting on our own lives as we reconstruct our beliefs about happiness, the world and what it means to suffer alone. No, there is no cookie-cutter approach to healing depression, and what worked for me may not work for others.
The goal of helping is giving people who suffer from depression a voice and allowing them to be heard.
The author of this blog, Shannon Kaiser is a depression counselor, life coach and best selling self-help author. At the same time, first with the industrial revolution and then even more dramatically with the information revolution, children have come to take on adult roles later and later.
Our Juliets (as parents longing for grandchildren will recognize with a sigh) may experience the tumult of love for 20 years before they settle down into motherhood.
The second crucial system in our brains has to do with control; it channels and harnesses all that seething energy.
In the distant (and even the not-so-distant) historical past, these systems of motivation and control were largely in sync. All that school means that children know more about more different subjects than they ever did in the days of apprenticeships.
There do seem to be many young adults who are enormously smart and knowledgeable but directionless, who are enthusiastic and exuberant but unable to commit to a particular kind of work or a particular love until well into their 20s or 30s. This new explanation also illustrates two really important and often overlooked facts about the mind and brain. Fortunately, these characteristics of the brain mean that dealing with modern adolescence is not as hopeless as it might sound.
Brain research is often taken to mean that adolescents are really just defective adults—grown-ups with a missing part. Simply increasing the driving age by a year or two doesn’t have much influence on the accident rate, for example. Instead of simply giving adolescents more and more school experiences—those extra hours of after-school classes and homework—we could try to arrange more opportunities for apprenticeship.
The good news, in short, is that we don’t have to just accept the developmental patterns of adolescent brains.


Posted in Blog and tagged ADHD, Brain & Culture, Brain Plasticity, child ADHD, Thomas M. Our ApproachOur objective is to tailor an individualized treatment program for each individual. She has been dating this guy for 3 years now and I am worried that she has lost her self esteem and dignity. It takes several forms – from name calling, to emotional blackmail and derogatory comments that are passed as jokes. This increases feelings of isolation, vulnerability, and separation in the life of the abused. There may also be practical issues of money, children, housing, and others, that keep people in an abusive relationship.
We all have that one friend who knows just how to spoil everybody’s mood or whom everybody is scared to upset because he or she throws tantrums.
Abuse most often exists because the emotional weaknesses of the abuser demand the exercise of control or torment of others (you) to give them a feeling of emotional security and fulfillment.
If you are on the receiving end of abuse, it’s up to you to set up clear, reasonable boundaries for an honorable relationship and to consistently stick to them. Receivers of abuse are often uncomfortable expressing authentic, respectful anger, which is necessary to establish boundaries. For your sake, and for the sake of your mental health, try hard to recognize as early as possible whether or not this relationship is even worth working on.
The funniest man in the world, who touched millions of people, couldn't touch his own heart.
In fact, the very thing we think we can't do is what we need to do in order to move through depression. But when we can open up and receive love, help from friends who are there, family who does love us, then we can begin to shift our awareness. Adam Kaplin, an associate professor in the departments of psychiatry and neurology at Johns Hopkins University, who spoke to The Huffington Post for a previous article. How does the boy who can thoughtfully explain the reasons never to drink and drive end up in a drunken crash?
And our Romeos may be poetic lunatics under the influence of Queen Mab until they are well into graduate school. It is very closely linked to the biological and chemical changes of puberty and involves the areas of the brain that respond to rewards. In a recent study by the developmental psychologist Laurence Steinberg at Temple University, teenagers did a simulated high-risk driving task while they were lying in an fMRI brain-imaging machine. One of the most distinctive evolutionary features of human beings is our unusually long, protected childhood. In particular, the prefrontal cortex reaches out to guide other parts of the brain, including the parts that govern motivation and emotion. It becomes increasingly effective throughout childhood and continues to develop during adolescence and adulthood, as we gain more experience.
In gatherer-hunter and farming societies, childhood education involves formal and informal apprenticeship. Becoming a really expert cook doesn’t tell you about the nature of heat or the chemical composition of salt—the sorts of things you learn in school.
But this new explanation based on developmental timing elegantly accounts for the paradoxes of our particular crop of adolescents. And there is the graver case of children who are faced with the uncompromising reality of the drive for sex, power and respect, without the expertise and impulse control it takes to ward off unwanted pregnancy or violence.
Though we aren’t likely to return to an agricultural life or to stop feeding our children well and sending them to school, the very flexibility of the developing brain points to solutions. Public policy debates about teenagers thus often turn on the question of when, exactly, certain areas of the brain develop, and so at what age children should be allowed to drive or marry or vote—or be held fully responsible for crimes. What does make a difference is having a graduated system in which teenagers slowly acquire both more skill and more freedom—a driving apprenticeship. AmeriCorps, the federal community-service program for youth, is an excellent example, since it provides both challenging real-life experiences and a degree of protection and supervision. Summer enrichment activities like camp and travel, now so common for children whose parents have means, might be usefully alternated with summer jobs, with real responsibilities. Unlike physical abuse, which manifests itself in a single act or event, emotional abuse is a series or pattern of behavior that occurs over time. Emotional abuse, like other forms of abuse, uses fear, humiliation, and verbal attacks to control and assert power over another person. For some, abuse may have been a regular feature of family and other relationships throughout their life, including in childhood. While everybody deserves to be in respectful, healthy relationships, it can be difficult for anybody to admit or identify that a relationship is abusive.
Let your partner know that you now recognize your responsibility in allowing the disrespect in the past, but that this era has now come to an end.
An addictive cheat who beats me everytime I try to talk him from doin destructive things by claimin he was livin in the moments.
The images and messages posted on these sites are a raw look into the thoughts and struggles of many thousands of depressed individuals. Some will attempt to take their life and others will be so paralyzed by fear that they will be alive, but not living. And if you suffer, the last thing you want to do is take their happiness away or bring them down.
Allowing yourself to receive is an emotional and spiritual experience most depression sufferers have difficulty opening up to.


This happened through prayer, meditation, opening up to close loved ones, writing and ultimately dropping from my head into my heart.
Why does the girl who knows all about birth control find herself pregnant by a boy she doesn’t even like?
Fortunately, developmental psychologists and neuroscientists are starting to explain the foundations of that weirdness. This is the system that turns placid 10-year-olds into restless, exuberant, emotionally intense teenagers, desperate to attain every goal, fulfill every desire and experience every sensation. The reward centers of the adolescent brain are much more active than those of either children or adults. The reward system of their brains lighted up much more when they thought another teenager was watching what they did—and they took more risks. This is the system that inhibits impulses and guides decision-making, that encourages long-term planning and delays gratification. You come to make better decisions by making not-so-good decisions and then correcting them. Children have lots of chances to practice the skills that they need to accomplish their goals as adults, and so to become expert planners and actors. An ever longer protected period of immaturity and dependence—a childhood that extends through college—means that young humans can learn more than ever before.
Wide-ranging, flexible and broad learning, the kind we encourage in high-school and college, may actually be in tension with the ability to develop finely-honed, controlled, focused expertise in a particular skill, the kind of learning that once routinely took place in human societies. While the damage may not be visible, emotional abuse can leave very real scars and may lead a person who is abused to feelings of worthlessness and self-destructive behaviors. You have an innate navigational system within yourself that allows you to make decisions which feel right for you, and which will keep you safe and happy.
We thwart that process when we refuse to see that being treated poorly by another adult is unacceptable. After a suicide attempt, few abortions n him flirtin with my best friend wen I av tried to cope wit his cheating attitude n not contact HIV, I realised dat one cannot change a damaged man whose parents are d worst of enemies n stil live together cos he believes dats wat marriage value is about. More often than not this is more wide-spread and sometimes its what makes being abused by someone else easy.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness ther’re going through. My heart led me out of depression because I allowed the baby steps to unfold to my bigger picture. What happened to the gifted, imaginative child who excelled through high school but then dropped out of college, drifted from job to job and now lives in his parents’ basement?
Think about the incomparable intensity of first love, the never-to-be-recaptured glory of the high-school basketball championship.
You get to be a good planner by making plans, implementing them and seeing the results again and again. The cultural psychologist Barbara Rogoff studied this kind of informal education in a Guatemalan Indian society, where she found that apprenticeship allowed even young children to become adept at difficult and dangerous tasks like using a machete.
There is strong evidence that IQ has increased dramatically as more children spend more time in school, and there is even some evidence that higher IQ is correlated with delayed frontal lobe development. For most of our history, children have started their internships when they were seven, not 27.
There is no strong gender slant with emotional abuse although in most relationships & marriages, the abuser is usually the woman because it is a slow and subtle way of gaining control and power over a physically assertive man.
Victims usually feel insignificant, worthless, undeserving, and emotionally needy and over time, believe they deserve to be treated that way.
When you learn to pay attention to your instincts, you will know which choices are life affirming, and which ones will drain you of your energy or create chaos. If you are unhappy in your relationship, and have been for longer than half the time you have been together, leave. I'm stil in d marriage to be financially stable before I seek seperation but I have moved on wit my life witout him. Adolescence has always been troubled, but for reasons that are somewhat mysterious, puberty is now kicking in at an earlier and earlier age. But eventually, we have to leave the safe bubble of family life, take what we learned as children and apply it to the real adult world.
It’s as true to say that our experience of controlling our impulses make the prefrontal cortex develop as it is to say that prefrontal development makes us better at controlling our impulses. Its mostly caused by low self-esteem and external pressure not necessarily directed at them.
Children have increasingly little chance to practice even basic skills like cooking and caregiving. Contemporary adolescents and pre-adolescents often don’t do much of anything except go to school.
The experience of trying to achieve a real goal in real time in the real world is increasingly delayed, and the growth of the control system depends on just those experiences.



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