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It should come as no surprise that I approach relationships with the same level of planning and forethought that I approach all the other areas of my life. In my experience, when folks are having trouble finding a relationship, it’s usually because they do not really know what they are looking for.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way and spent sometime thinking about what we look for in our ideal person, I want you do me one more favor. Were you eavesdropping on my prayers this morning, because I definitely took some time out today to pray about the woman I am and the woman I want to be for myself and my partner.
I've made this list a couple times, (at different points in my life) and each time (obviously) it gets a bit more refined, as I grow, mature, and as my understanding of relationships, wants and needs change.
I've made this list in my head many times and found that the person I want is basically another me who can cook better and has male equipment. I think if your two lists match up pretty well, then the best thing you can do is keep bettering yourself, and keep refining both lists till that person comes along. Now you know we would be having a fit if one of the guys said the same about lighter complexioned women! Too bad you're 8 foot 17…she specifically said no one over 6 foot tall Yao Ming! It's also great that you want your next relationship to at least have the potential to end in marriage. Now that I've actually finished reading this post, I can honestly say that I have tried to take a look at myself from another perspective. Before this gets out of line, who are we to judge Adonis' list or any one one else's list? Women would be liking his comment up and down this website and trying to find his hometown so they could throw a tinker-tape parade in his honor. HOWEVER, for some reason Adonis just brings that out in me and I find it difficult to censor myself. Sometimes self-reflection is the key and this is a great way to reflect on both who you are & what you want, but also how you to step your game up to get (and keep) what you want.
I hope I have someone cancel today so that I can contribute to this convo, but yeah this is a good post. Sticking with just the must haves, what do you think someone who has the above qualities would be looking for in a man.
If you want a submissive woman, then you have to expect that she's looking for a leader. If you're not doing that now, than the residual effects of that will permeate all the areas of your life.
If you feel this image is in violation of our Terms of Service, please use the following form to have it manually reviewed by a staff member. 2) If need special packing or carding, please list them in your E-mail, we would like to make the customer wanted packing. Deciding we want to be in a romantic relationship, or deciding that we’ve found someone with whom we want to start a relationship are some of the more important decisions we ever endeavor to make.


So did this exercise teach me that I need to spend some time improving my cooking so I can make this other me happy or does it mean maybe I should learn to cook better so I'm content with the me I have?
As a now divorced woman I have made my list in the past, shared it with them and thought I married it!
This time I wrote them down, and I found that my list was quite a bit shorter and also a lot more concrete. This post goes hand and hand with the post that Slim did about wanting something you're not.
There's nothing wrong with knowing this and seeking out someone who has a similar outlook. I am in a relationship right now, and I think that the relationship itself has helped me to evolve in many ways.
I know what I want at this juncture and it simply starts with the woman that has a vested interest of being my friend and I really mean a friend. Since looks attract and personality keeps, I'll start with looks then go into personality. I think he would be looking for a woman who is attractive, smart, nice, nurturing, good career, good head on her shoulders, and strong.
I def screwed up what my list should include as well but i def support being the woman your dream man should be looking for. Basically, you don't match up with your ideal person's list so what are you going to do about it?
I think some of these request are crazy…people change over time and there is no saying that the superficial characteristics you liked in a person when you met them are going to be the same 10 years down the road or a person may loose their job and no longer has that high income you required when you met them.
What I can be as a wife, a partner, a mother is more powerful than what I can be as a single person. If you require further details regarding the transaction data, please contact the supplier directly.
We can use all of this to figure out whether or not we need to either change our expectations, or, change some things about ourselves. People need to start being realistic about who they are, what they need and want but also who they need to be in order to have successful relationships. Some of the more frivolous items disappeared and I'm not sure if this is due to growth, or due to the fact that when things are written, they carry more weight.
That list that I just posted will probably change in the future depending on how my relationship works out, but I think that it is a realistic list for me, and I don't think it is very superficial or demanding for that matter. I know everybody has their insecurities, but this is more so about confidence in themselves in terms of the relationship. Honestly, it takes practice, which, if everything is going well, you won't get a lot of.
I can throw around a few ideas of what I want in a mate but I’m not really trying to spend the time cultivating this person. My guy is all of the things on the list, and so am I, but we both need to get better on number 4, he professionally and me privately.


I remember us discussing this previously and you saying you don't really feel like you are. For some of us, it works, we meet someone, they seem cool, we date, fall in love and jump the broom. He was trying to portray and act like the man I was looking for but his true self was not even most of the basic personality and characteristics I had on my list.
Since I was in a crazy relationship for almost 5 yrs, I know exactly what I'm looking for and I know what I need to work on. The overarching message of the article was knowing what you desire in a mate…and also realizing that no one is the total package.
The key is, when the moments do come up, you gotta be disciplined enough to keep it about the issue not about the person and not throw any low blows. I do think this is a great idea when I do decide to start pursing any serious relationship… in the future. Then we can stop slapping each other when the other one says something demeaning about themselves.
Thus, I wasn't serious, or as serious as some of the fellas I met because there were things in my life I wanted to accomplish, and a relationship was not high on my list of priorities. If you don't, then that should motivation to be better or, if you are your best, then maybe you might need to consider altering your expectations. Others of us find ourselves traversing the dregs of singleness, hopping from semi-relationship to semi-relationship wondering why we can find a decent man or woman to settle on down with.
Look at what you’ve written, is there anything you need to change about yourself, or about your expectations before you’re ready for your next relationship? Before I use to say the general ish but now that I have experience I know what I have to offer and my worth. In today’s post, I want to offer a slight alternative to the normal meet and greet style of finding a mate. What I want you guys to do is stop reading right now and take a moment to think about the most important things you’re looking for in your ideal mate. This time, list all of the characteristics you think the ideal person you’ve just created in your mind would look for in their ideal person. Although I'm just dating now, the next relationship I get into will only be with the guy that knows marriage is down the line. That when asked, he would tell you that he was the lucky one and that I push him to be a better man too. Once you have a few items, I want you to then scroll down to the comments section and right down some of the stuff you came up with and then come back up and read the rest of the post (do your best to resist the urge to read everyone else’s list). If you gave them a salary requirement, would they expect their mate to also make a certain income.



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