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The ramblings of a girl who survived an abusive relationship and went on to live a happy life. I know what it’s like to be in a place where the only thing worse than staying is leaving. I tend to use feminine labels when talking about the victim and masculine labels when addressing the abuser. In Philadelphia in 2006, there were 71,350 incidents of domestic abuse in which police were involved. Women who leave abusers are at a 75% greater chance of being killed by the abuser than those who stay. Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors by which a person seeks power and control over his or her intimate partner or ex-partner. Domestic Violence can affect people of all races, income levels, religions, genders, sexual orientations and ages.  The effects of domestic violence can last long after the abuse has stopped. Domestic violence is also sometimes referred to as intimate partner violence or dating abuse. FACT: In one recent study, for students who had ever dated, 36% of the girls and 37% of the boys reported they had experienced physical violence in the dating relationship.
FACT: There are many complicated reasons why it’s difficult for a person to leave an abusive partner.
It's estimated that every 9 seconds, an American woman is assaulted by someone who once claimed to love her. Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 72% OFF what others pay on the newsstand — that's like getting 19 FREE issues!


For some outside source to tell me that I wasn’t going nuts and that I needed to get out. One very common reason is fear – women who leave abusers are at a 75% greater chance of being killed by the abuser than those who stay.
The ones spent staring at the numbers on the clock as they change, one by one, second by second through the night.
The taste of rust and thick white spit that sticks against the back of my throat as I feel the poison slowly drain through my limbs. As we continue to grow the blog, we wanted to make the website more engaging to our viewers.
I encourage anyone who is, or has been, involved in an abusive relationship to seek professional help. The Watch OWN app is free and available to you as part of your OWN subscription through a participating TV provider. Without the help of professional therapists, counselors and social workers, I would not have survived my situation. In fact, domestic violence sends more women to emergency rooms every year than car accidents and muggings combined. Standing in the shower staring at the water falling down the drain, hardly feeling the drops against my face.
If you are stuck in a relationship with someone who hurts you, you might not be able to see it right now, but don’t let go of the promise of something more. Some people stay with their high school sweethearts and get married and have babies and everything’s wonderful, but the truth is that the first person you fall in love with is most likely not the person you want to spend your whole, entire life with.


And unless you are part of a very small percent of the population, you will be incredibly thankful for this.
I know these words now, and I can label them as they fall from your mouth like marbles down a spiral staircase, but I still feel each hollow clink on the way down and I’m still at the bottom collecting them from you and holding them all as if they were my responsibility to polish, as if it was my job to explain it out for you. You’re fucking awesome and you only get this one life to be the person you were made to be. The walk along the edge of death with just a thread to hold on to, attached to the hope of a future that falls in and out of view. And you want to know, how can you be happy now? A question that only means to tell me that if I have been through what I say I have, there’s no way I could be. Try new things and keep discovering what makes you the wonderfully weird person that you are.
Bring me to my knees, alone on a cold, hard floor, and you might think then, that you’ve won… but tomorrow, I will stand up. You owe it to that person out there that you might not have met yet that wants to love you the right way. They can be a great way to connect with another person and share similar interests, but make up your own mind and be your own person.



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