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It's not as if you always need to know how your husband feels about you or his childhood or his purpose here on earth. Walking straight up to a man and sitting down directly across from him can trigger his competitive instincts, says executive coach Carol Kinsey Goman, PhD, who counsels business leaders on nonverbal communication.
Women are usually more comfortable than men with the idea that spending time together will involve talking, says Diane Gehart, PhD, professor of marriage and family therapy at California State University, Northridge. Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 72% OFF what others pay on the newsstand — that's like getting 19 FREE issues! Whether your friend or family member is newly diagnosed or in the midst of treatment, she's unlikely to be wowed by vague offers or having to do your thinking for you. A year after having a stroke, New Jersey homemaker Florence Tweel, 55, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Many of the sites that offer scheduling let breast cancer patients or their families or friends blog about their treatment and recovery progress. When the unknown looms, hearing from someone who's "been there" can really make a difference, says Mary Vaughan, 58, of Gaithersburg, Md.
Sue Murrian, 62, a Knoxville homemaker who had a lumpectomy and radiation for her early-stage breast cancer, most appreciated "help" with a light-hearted approach. It took Jodie Maslowski awhile to realize that telling people "No" was devastating to them. In fact, if the phone keeps ringing but the patient is too tired to respond, I tell them to put a message on their machine, says social worker Maureen Broderick.
Maslowski's friends also made a note of which detergent, cleaning supplies, and soaps she was using.
That's why she was extremely grateful anytime anyone offered to do anything for her children. Bontempo told everyone when they were invited that they had to tell her that her hair looked great no matter what. Because people undergoing breast cancer treatment often don't know how they're going to feel from day to day, an open-ended invitation -- for a meal delivery or a friendly drop-by -- is the best kind of help, some cancer survivors say. All of the practical help is wonderful, but special treats can really perk up a cancer patient's day. You'd be surprised at how many survivors loved getting cards and thought that they were very meaningful signs of support. Even women who could give Emily Post a run for her money need a pass during breast cancer treatment and recovery. To be really helpful, make sure anything you deliver to or do for the breast cancer survivor is strings-free, says Broderick. It's never wise to presuppose how someone should feel at any stage of breast cancer -- and that includes near the end of treatment, says Broderick. It's not helpful to tell a breast cancer survivor she should feel happy, lucky, or fill-in-the-blank.
It's human nature for people to rush in to help at the beginning of a crisis, but having breast cancer is a long road, says Johnson, whose surgery and treatment spanned more than six months.

The transition from being sick 24 hours a day to feeling well seems so abrupt that it can be weird, she says. Before Maslowski was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 30s, she'd never paid any attention to fund-raising walks or events.
The actress, who beat ovarian cancer close to a decade ago, shared last month that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy, The Huffington Post reported at the time.
I never found it hard to imagine that girls talk more than guys, just from past experience, but I didn't imagine it was three times.
And it's not as if you want to spend hours on the phone with your dad, uncle, brothers or old college friends. Such sites let people (or friends or family) build private or public communities where patient updates and schedules can be shared, says Broderick.
Survivor Anne Steele, 51, Hermosa Beach, California, who had chemo, a lumpectomy, and radiation, for example, liked having companions with her during chemo while Victoria Irwin, who spent her chemo time in solitary pursuits like reading, preferred to save friends' graciousness for another time. Dawn Bontempo, 42, a civil servant in the department of veteran affairs in Arlington, Virginia, created a account right after she was diagnosed last year. Hearing another person's story secondhand, even if it had a good outcome, didn't feel like encouragement to Steele.
She said yes when she was diagnosed at the age of 36 with ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) and was connected with three young area women. She found that understanding someone at church; a fellow member who'd had breast cancer some years earlier started writing her emails full of hard-won advice. Better to ask, "How are you feeling?" She gets to call the shots on how she feels and when. Now she thinks participating in an annual breast cancer walk is one of the nicest ways friends and family can show support for her and help her fight the disease that tried to sideline her. You'll have a better chance of getting your dad to talk about his golf game by doing dishes with him at the sink or plopping down next to him on the couch.
The Watch OWN app is free and available to you as part of your OWN subscription through a participating TV provider. She may not want that tuna casserole or to hear about what treatment your Aunt Phyllis had either. But my blog kept everybody -- all my long-distance family and friends -- in the loop and up to date.
She gave her tips that were practical (how to screen offers of help and get what you really need) and the more emotional ("Let yourself cry or be angry -- that's important. Her office responded with a "Go Kick Cancer's Ass!" party that included a cake with the same message. Please know that she can't respond right now.'" If you're a friend and you get that message, you can leave an answer saying, "I'm going to send you my email and would love to hear from you any time you have the energy," Broderick says. With six surgeries in nine months, Hillard had a lot of time to worry about her daughters getting bored at home or missing activities. Even little things like food being delivered with the message "Now, make sure you tell me how you liked this" can feel like a burden to an overwhelmed patient.

To help open the lines of communication between you and the men you love, we interviewed three experts to find the most effective ways to get them talking. As boys, they bonded while engaging in sports, playing video games or skateboarding; girls took part in sleepover gossip-a-thons. Our patient-generated advice is sorted into three stages -- Diagnosis, Surgery & Treatment, and Recovery -- identified by Maureen Broderick, a licensed clinical social worker who has worked with cancer patients and run cancer support groups. It wasn't my job to understand anything that was being told to me medically because she took notes on it and we'd go back to her husband, who is a doctor, to get advice." Linda's support gave Tweel the energy to be at her best with her family and get the treatment she needed.
It's a way of letting yourself get to know yourself better during this time of self discovery").
Yet I always thought it depended on the person because there are always those guys that can talk your ear off. For evidence that these roles have carried over to adulthood, count the groups of women versus men the next time you go for brunch (an event that revolves around eggs, coffee and face-to-face chatter). With each step she remembers how far she's come and how thankful she is for the support she received and that she is able to now help others.
In a USA today article I found, it states that women speak an average of 20,000 words a day versus only 7,000 a day for men.
If you've walked passed South Halls at all the past week or two and heard all of the sorority recruitment going on, this ouldn't be hard for you to believe. You don't even need to be near the buildings to hear the sound of the constant chatter from all those girls cramped into tiny dorm rooms. Luan Brizendine, women's brains actually have more brain cells directed toward talking than men. If that doesn't surprise you enough, women actually get a buzz out hearing their own voice. Testosterone actually prohibits some of the growth of the brain, which makes the brain have less cells to devote towards talking. As we have often discussed in class, a group of scientist conducted a study to find a real reason as to why women talk more. They looked to see which gender had a higher level of it and which gender was more "chatty." When looking at the rats, men had more of the Foxp2 and were more talkative than women. After looking at the rats, the scientists did the study on young children and they found that the girls had more of Foxp2 than the boys, and they were also more talkative. As I was reading through this study, I couldn't help but think back to the example we talked about in class when scientists used mice to test if worms affect performance. Since the test for determining the answer to which gender talks more is so similar, I find the results to be pretty reliable, don't you?My question for you is, do you think men will ever before more talkative than women?

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