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I first downloaded Tinder on to my smartphone in the summer of 2013, soon after the innovative new dating app was launched in the UK. When I discovered that Tinder automatically takes some basic details from your Facebook profile, including your correct age, I cringed with embarrassment. Most striking is the large number of men in their mid-to-late 30s who have not yet settled into long-term relationships. The thing about young men, especially in today's digital world, where all arrangements are subject to change and attention spans are minuscule, is that they are infuriatingly unreliable. It has evolved into a proper microcosm of our society, and the over-50s -- so many of whom are footloose and fancy-free after relationship break-ups -- have taken to it with a vengeance. On Tinder you can find doctors and documentary filmmakers, City financiers and Oxbridge students, in the same pack of cards as construction workers, painter-decorators and cabbies. My latest bevy of London Tinderfellas includes a Spaniard, a Greek, a Dane and an Italian, in addition to the pub-joke routine 'Scotsman, Irishman and Englishman'. But I wondered, a little sadly, which woman on the app would swipe right for 'yes' for the elderly, frail gent. Moving down a notch, I gasped when I spotted a family friend, a long-married man and paterfamilias with a horde of offspring, as well as several grandchildren. Of course the 'lion's share' of Tinder men (ha -- so many have pics of themselves posing with sedated lions, tigers and other wildlife, it has become the worst cliche) are still youngish single guys looking for their next hot date. In any previous generation, most men of that age would already be married and have started a family.


Reflecting society as a whole, Tinder today is also riddled with weirdos, saddos, kinky types, poseurs, cheats (both overt and covert), blatant idiots, the deadly dull and the self-deluded.
You have only to look at their awful pictures and read their profile spiel -- either semi-literate or pretentious or both -- to know you wouldn't swipe right for any of them, even if they were the last males of the species. I have matched with a few charming and thoroughly decent men, and had some enjoyable dates. Monica Porter's memoir, Raven: My Year of Dating Dangerously, is available on Amazon in paperback and e-book. That was the year of my great Internet dating adventure and it seemed an intriguing experiment to try.
Far from putting off the legions of 20-something men looking for 'action', my age was virtually an aphrodisiac for many of them. I was delighted to learn that they didn't equate being a sexagenarian -- which scared the s*** out of me, I can tell you -- with having one foot in the grave. I have just been having another little spell on Tinder, and what a transformation since those early days!
The common factor which unites them all is the search for a mate, short-term or long-term, for sex or for love or for companionship. Although he looked every bit his age, he seemed lively and good-natured and was clearly game to meet new ladies to help take his life forward. Still on the game, like perpetual teenagers just after some no-responsibility fun, even though they are creeping towards the border of middle age.


But this lot have been infantilized by decades of playing on their Nintendos and PlayStations and Xboxes.
And when I mentioned that I was watching an entertaining cop show on TV, he said he didn't own a set and only watched vegan cookery demonstrations on YouTube. The users' flightiness is still there, but no longer is it a dedicated forum for randy young guys and lovelorn girls.
That is, as long as you do 'match' with people on the app, and those matches lead to actual offline meetings. Grey locks flowing, a naughty smile playing on his lips, he announced that he was 'up for anything'. And the high incidence of divorce in their parents' generation undoubtedly makes many shy away from serious commitment. He said he loved cooking and sent me photos of dishes he had concocted, various platefuls of colorful mushy stuff.



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