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There are many different reasons why men fall in love with women, but only a few of those reasons will go on to prompt them into that territory where they’ll want to go as far as popping the big question! Marriage nowadays tends to have become somehow overrated, mostly for men, who are more and more independent and reluctant of the idea of companionship with one woman for the rest of their lives – at least, until later on into their later years. I know it’s not going to be easy to go along with this, as most of the time, your fella’s wants and needs may appear stupid or meaningless, but you have to accept the fact that having fun for him is different than having fun for you. Making him feel understood, making him feel he can do everything he puts his mind to, showing him that you have confidence in him are things that will make him want to have you around for as long as possible. What you must realize is that they feel emasculated if they show their deep and true emotions. Summarizing, some of the crucial things that make a man want to marry a woman, and that many women don’t quite get because they are too busy trying to keep as tight a squeeze on their boyfriend as possible, are a woman that understands his needs, respects his space and cherishes his male pride. This entry was posted on July 3, 2012 and tagged commitment, what do men want in a woman, What Makes A Man Want To Marry.
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And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people. Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course. Thinking about how overwhelmingly important it is to pick the right life partner is like thinking about how huge the universe really is or how terrifying death really is -- it's too intense to internalize the reality of it, so we just don't think about it that hard and remain in slight denial about the magnitude of the situation. But unlike death and the universe's size, picking a life partner is fully in your control, so it's critical to make yourself entirely clear on how big a deal the decision really is and to thoroughly analyze the most important factors in making it. I'm pretty sure no one over 80 reads Wait But Why, so no matter who you are, that's a lot of time -- and almost the entirety of the rest of your one existence. And when you choose a life partner, you're choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you'll hear about 18,000 times. So given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy? Studies have shown people to be generally bad, when single, at predicting what later turn out to be their actual relationship preferences. This shouldn't be a surprise -- in life, you usually don't get good at something until you've done it a bunch of times. If you're running a business, conventional wisdom states that you're a much more effective business owner if you study business in school, create well thought-out business plans, and analyze your business's performance diligently. But if someone went to school to learn about how to pick a life partner and take part in a healthy relationship, if they charted out a detailed plan of action to find one, and if they kept their progress organized rigorously in a spreadsheet, society says they're A) an over-rational robot, B) way too concerned about this, and C) a huge weirdo. No, when it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best. In other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might to be to those candidates. But good old society frowns upon that, and people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site.
In our world, the major rule is to get married before you're too old -- and "too old" varies from 25-35, depending on where you live. When we start seeing someone and feel the slightest twinge of excitement, our biology gets into "okay let's do this" mode and bombards us with chemicals designed to get us to mate (lust), fall in love (the Honeymoon Phase), and then commit for the long run (attachment).
For a woman who wants to have biological children with her husband, she has one very real limitation in play, which is the need to pick the right life partner by forty, give or take.
So when you take a bunch of people who aren't that good at knowing what they want in a relationship, surround them with a society that tells them they have to find a life partner but that they should under-think, under-explore, and hurry up, and combine that with biology that drugs us as we try to figure it out and promises to stop producing children before too long, what do you get? A frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and a lot of people messing up the most important decision of their life.
Overly Romantic Ronald's downfall is believing that love is enough reason on its own to marry someone.


The overly romantic person repeatedly ignores the little voice that tries to speak up when he and his girlfriend are fighting constantly or when he seems to feel much worse about himself these days than he used to before the relationship, shutting the voice down with thoughts like "Everything happens for a reason and the way we met couldn't have just been coincidence" and "I'm totally in love with her, and that's all that matters" -- once an overly romantic person believes he's found his soul mate, he stops questioning things, and he'll hang onto that belief all the way through his 50 years of unhappy marriage. Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner. Externally-Influenced Ed lets other people play way too big a part in the life partner decision.
The saddest example of this is someone breaking up with a person who would have been the right life partner because of external disapproval or a factor the chooser doesn't actually care about (religion is a common one) but feels compelled to stick to for the sake of family insistence or expectations. It can also happen the opposite way, where everyone in someone's life is thrilled with his relationship because it looks great from the outside, and even though it's not actually that great from the inside, Ed listens to others over his own gut and ties the knot. Shallow Sharon is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. Everyone has certain on-paper boxes they'd like checked, but a strongly ego-driven person prioritizes appearances and resumes above even the quality of her connection with her potential life partner when weighing things.
If you want a fun new term, a significant other whom you suspect was chosen more because of the boxes they checked than for their personality underneath is a "scantron boyfriend" or a "scantron wife," etc. This person inevitably ends up with at best a super easy-going person, and at worst, a pushover with a self-esteem issue, and sacrifices a chance to be part of a team of equals, almost certainly limiting the potential quality of her marriage. Everyone has needs, and everyone likes those needs to be met, but problems arise when the meeting of needs -- she cooks for me, he'll be a great father, she'll make a great wife, he's rich, she keeps me organized, he's great in bed -- becomes the main grounds for choosing someone as a life partner. The main reason most of the above types end up in unhappy relationships is that they're consumed by a motivating force that doesn't take into account the reality of what a life partnership is and what makes it a happy thing.
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Nevertheless, as we have mentioned before, there is a threefold way to gently push (or cajole) a man into marrying you, but it is not an easy one. In fact, they are quite simple when it comes to their needs, and one of their strongest needs is that for freedom. He’ll want to have his cake – and eat it, in other words he’ll want to share his life with you with the life that he has learnt to love before you were even on the scene.
They need to feel that they excel at everything and it is important for them to feel appreciated and admired. Make him feel that he has what it takes to get there and help him get there if you can, instead of nagging him that he is neglecting you and that he doesn’t give you enough time. A single person who would like to find a great relationship is one step away from it, with their to-do list reading, "1) Find a great relationship." People in unhappy relationships, on the other hand, are threeleaps away, with a to-do list of "1) Go through a soul-crushing break-up. If you live a long life, that's about the number of years you're going to spend with your current or future life partner, give or take a few. One study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event. Unfortunately, not many people have a chance to be in more than a few, if any, serious relationships before they make their big decision. This is logical, because that's the way you proceed when you want to do something well and minimize mistakes. If a business owner took society's dating advice for her business, she'd probably fail, and if she succeeded, it would be partially due to good luck -- and that's how society wants us to approach dating. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way. The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool.
The rule should be "whatever you do, don't marry the wrong person," but society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children.
Our brains can usually override this process if we're just not that into someone, but for all those middle ground cases where the right move is probably to move on and find something better, we often succumb to the chemical roller coaster and end up getting engaged.
Romance can be a great part of a relationship, and love is a key ingredient in a happy marriage, but without a bunch of other important things, it's simply not enough.
Unfortunately, the way society is set up, fear starts infecting all kinds of otherwise-rational people, sometimes as early as the mid-twenties.


The choosing of a life partner is deeply personal, enormously complicated, different for everyone, and almost impossible to understand from the outside, no matter how well you know someone. There are a bunch of boxes that she needs to have checked -- things like his height, job prestige, wealth-level, accomplishments, or maybe a novelty item like being foreign or having a specific talent. She believes her needs and desires and opinions are simply more important than her partner's, and she needs to get her way in almost any big decision. He wants a life partner who serves as both his therapist and biggest admirer, but is mostly uninterested in returning either favor. ACCORDING TO WOMEN: Men and women were asked to choose celebrities with their preferred features. As long as you understand that your man needs space to do the things he loves doing, the things he got used to doing before he met you and the things that make him happy (aside from being with you!), then you’ll have a real chance to persuade him to want to spend the rest of his life by your side. Out of this need, men become competitive in sports or other hobbies they are attracted to, at their jobs and even in their relationships – it’s all part of the testosterone drive. All this is within reason, of course, you’ll soon end up disowning him if he’s not prepared to give plenty back your way.
They are not used to opening up and speaking their minds and that is maybe one of the hardest things to accept for a woman, because we all want proof of affection and to be showered with words of love. The less emotional you are around them, the more relaxed they are and this is one more crucial step forward in making him get down on the proverbial knee. Fortunately, this stigma is diminishing with time, but that it's there at all is a reflection of how illogical the socially accepted dating rulebook is. It makes no sense -- the former is one step away from a happy marriage, while the latter must either settle for permanent unhappiness or endure a messy divorce just to catch up to where the single person is.
Still, if it were me, I'd rather adopt children with the right life partner than have biological children with the wrong one.
The types of fear our society (and parents, and friends) inflict upon us -- fear of being the last single friend, fear of being an older parent, sometimes just fear of being judged or talked about -- are the types that lead us to settle for a not-so-great partnership. As such, other people's opinions and preferences really have noplace getting involved, other than an extreme case involving mistreatment or abuse.
In the end, she doesn't want a legitimate partnership, she wants to keep her single life and have someone there to keep her company.
Each night, he and his partner discuss their days, but 90 percent of the discussion centers around his day -- after all, he's the main character of the relationship.
And after a year of marriage, when the needs-driven person is now totally accustomed to having her needs met and it's no longer exciting, there better be a lot more good parts of the relationship she's chosen or she's in for a dull ride. If he feels that he’s being cut off from the perceived happy, boisterous times-of-old and doing the fun old stuff he used to enjoy with the boys – you can pretty much forget that wedding ring or any kind of commitment! He probably already has a mother for whom he has to show an embarrassing amount of public affection. And given that a person's partnership persona and relationship needs are often quite different from the way they are as a single person, it's hard as a single person to really know what you want or need from a relationship.
The irony is that the only rational fear we should feel is the fear of spending the latter two thirds of life unhappily, with the wrong person -- the exact fate the fear-driven people risk because they're trying to be risk-averse. The issue for him is that by being incapable of tearing himself away from his personal world, he ends up with a sidekick as his life partner, which makes for a pretty boring 50 years. You will need to resize any photo larger than 800x600 pixels using your graphics software or a Web-based resizer, such as Picnik. From time to time, of course, you’d expect as much, but the real intimacy and emotional side of him will come out in privacy, given time. It is understood if you add an image, you explicitly acknowledge that you have full usage rights and permission to publish the image online.
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