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Wouldn’t ya know, every female around virtually throws her cleavage into the face of our noble protagonist. Russ Meyer films are ridiculously hard to see nowadays, released only in limited quantities on obscure labels.
Teas is regarded today as the first in the cycle of “nudie cutie” films, a picture that for the first time since the 1930s, presented nudity in a story that wasn’t focused strictly on so-called “naturalists” i.e. Teas is quite obviously just a film that unabashedly presented a parade of (universally stacked) topless women for the sole purpose of providing a thrill to the (presumably male) audience. Teas is a prime example of how sexual content and the promise of nudity can be used to market a film that otherwise would have been seen as pure garbage. Teas that it was an early feature from Meyer, who would go on to enjoy an immensely successful career as a true American original and auteur. Teas is enjoyable enough for what it is, I can in no way, shape, or form call this a good movie. Teas made more than a million at the box office on a $24,000 investment, setting the aggressively independent Meyer on the course for future successes and much more sophisticated films.
I envisioned a gender reversal where my dentist is giving me a root canal in the au naturelle. The film exists as a satirical “day in the life” portrait of the titular character, employed as a bicycle delivery man for a dental company. Despite the fact that this film was photographed in gorgeous color, it may as well have been produced in the 1930s since it’s essentially a silent film with a narration and music score being heard over the images.
Some of the trademark elements of Meyer’s films are already in place in this first feature – namely, the abundance of full-figured, buxom women and omnipresent elements of voyeurism. The silent film approach seems woefully inadequate for a feature made around 1960, and the repetitive music score by Edward J.
For years, “naturalist” and exploitation films had been skirting around the film production code’s outright ban on nudity by claiming to possess “educational value” and presenting “authentic scenes,” but Meyer’s film avoided all that, challenging the production code and opening the floodgates for similar, even more explicit films to come.

As part of his job, Teas has to interact with various secretaries and waitresses, all of whom he has rather salacious daydreams about. This booming-voiced narration (which sounds eerily similar to the typical Criswell monologues found in several of the Ed Wood films) might seem only vaguely connected to what is seen in the film, but in the end, it becomes very humorous (and more than a little bit suggestive) in context, firmly establishing the satirical, playfully comedic feel of the film. There’s not much of a message to be found in this film; it’s solely designed to be entertaining, but I still have to commend Meyer for handling most every aspect of this production in a capable manner.
Lasko (who also wrote and performed the narration) becomes positively maddening after a while.
Teas is more valuable as a curiosity piece and time capsule than as a rewarding piece of cinema. Following a dental procedure in which he has a tooth yanked after being put out with gas, Teas’ daydreams start to become more eye-popping in their intensity. Ultimately, the goofy tone of the narration is probably one of the reasons why this picture was even allowed to play theaters when released since it’d be really hard to label this film as being even remotely offensive.
The photography is crisp and sharp, and there’s a nice sense of progression to the piece: initially, this film is very much a “tease” in the way it presents the female form, but later on, we get lingering glimpses of bare (topless and rear) female flesh. I get that one of the goals of the film is to provide a commentary on the tedium of modern life, but to make a monotonous film just to prove a point is nearly inexcusable.
It’s remarkable how tame this once scandalous film plays in the context of today’s oversexed society, and the film is perhaps most interesting for the way in which the “ideal woman” visualized here differs from what might be thought of and portrayed today. Whereas before, he was content just to stare googly-eyed into exposed cleavage, now Teas’ hallucinations include fully nude women strolling around and conducting their day-to-day activities.
This would have very much made the film one that was “worth sitting through” back in 1959: any amount of nudity was a “ticket seller” at the time.
Most (male) viewers would probably get a kick out of this film, and it would almost be a must for fans of the cult-favorite director, but considering how difficult it is to locate any of Meyer’s films these days (Meyer personally retained the rights to all but two of his films and tightly controlled their distribution), it’s perfectly skippable.
Throughout these visions, Teas seems content to look on as the voyeur; he makes no attempt to “make a move” on the women. Bill Teas (a war buddy of director Meyer) stars apparently as himself, performing exaggerated, theatrical-like actions that let the audience know exactly what he’s thinking.

The women here are more or less objects rather than characters, viewed as being little more than breasts and buttocks (Meyer was notorious for his breast fetish).
HE NOW again drowns many of His enemy, as "i" prophesy months back, and since He has drown many in Tonga, and crushed many in Haiti! As when "i" called for a storm Haiti in 2004, and even gave the date, the first time "i" ever asked for a certain day, and 2 months later storm rolled across Haiti on May 26th, the day "i" prophesy. Drowning more than 3000 devil worshiping beings, and on the very date "i" called for it,this is the season of our gathering for His Glory, and our Destiny.A A A 8. Floods of biblical proportions from america, too australia, with great droughts in between. Sun soon again shoots flare's through its center as prophesy back in 2008, and since the sun has shot flares from its surface greater than any before. He now shakes the earth to and fro so too prepare the earth for the Mighty quake of Destiny, too israel, making a great valley where once stood a blasphemous dome on His rock.
Earthquakes the black sea as He foretold to me in a Dream, and "i" prophesy and since the volcanoe's beneath the black sea have began to shake, as prophesy by me HIS and your smallest prophet, and gathering Call. These along with many individual signs "i" have spoken to men and wo-men around earth that now come, and are coming! Merely tossed boats onto the shore with His quaking hand, the same in Australia, it had been years since australia had had a tidal wave. Due to Him, having me speak Ezekiel 13:11, and Ezekiel 13:13, Yea, and O'GREAT HAIL STONE'S SHALL FALL ACROSS THE EARTH IN MANY OF THE SEVEN NATIONS IN WHICH "i" CALL AND GATHER! Hurricane houston Texas, as the Hurricane i prophesy too all last year and 2004, they touched the Bible, after GODS MESSIAH PROCLAIMED , TOUCH MY WORD, AND I WILL MAKE THIS LAND A WASTE LAND!" Isaiah28:2 4. For fear of hitlers wrath, if they refused!" Now this man, JOSEF SCHEUNGRABER ESQ; 90 year old German Hero!" Has been chased and caught and accused of not stopping hitler!" Always during these tribunals, they say, well they could have stopped hitler from killing jews, or any, while knowing the jews themselves did nothing to stop hitler, he said walk to these trains and they did so!" Horrible, but not Josef's Fault!" Josef knew just like the jew, if he said NO, he died!" "So this day, when AMERICAN BUILDING'S ARE BLOWN up with 1000's of innocent, and then even presidents try too get the murders freed, and protecting them!" And while in scotland a murderer who killed 100's on Pam am flight 103, who killed 270 people, innocent people, was freed after 5 years!" And as stated those who have been freed of the muslim, {{ FREED FROM Guamtonimo prison }}that were killing and beheading our soldiers, and then went right back to war against us!"WHILETHIS GERMAN MAN, WHO DID WHAT HIS LEADERS told him to do, and was proved to be near where a massacretook place in Italy, of some men who had killed german soldiers, now receive's the Life sentence he did not deserve!" Why?

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