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admin 16.05.2016

I am in my mid-forties and I have been online dating off and on for about 2? years and dating in general for 4 years.
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re most likely wasting your time with this kid. So even if this young man’s interest in you is completely pure, even if he wants to have a real relationship with you, you guys are most likely doomed.
It just seems far more likely that a) he’s bragging to his friends that he might get to sleep with a woman 20 years older than himself, or b) you guys really might be compatible if only he were significantly older or you were significantly younger.
A caveat which I must acknowledge: if neither of you desires children, then you have a far better chance. I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. Evan made all good points, but I don’t think he answered the question as to why men in their 20s find older women interesting.
Going down a few notches I think there is also the appeal of the forbidden and the appeal of the trendy, which seem to intersecting right now. Speaking only for myself, when I was 14 I found women aged between the mid 30s – mid 40s to be the most interesting. Now that I am within their age range I still find this set of women interesting and I’m guessing that when I am beyond their age range I will still find them interesting. I have a very close friend in her early 50s who looks AMAZING for her age, plays bass in a rock band, is a very lively active woman with lots of young interests. They want to settle down and have a real serious girlfriend they can take home to mom, and all of a sudden it starts to weird them out that my friend could BE their mom. When this 29 yr old contacted me on OKCupid, I wasn’t going to reply, but he was so adorable, and his profile was clever. Also, at any age you might find you relate well to an individual(s) who are much younger, but come to find out not on every level. To both posts about fertility being gone in a women who is 40–are you guys kidding me ? I had no doubt  having relationship with a Lady of mid 40’s (which is she’s not married) , I tell this because we have  both  respect each other!!! The life and the people who left quotes was fantastic and I thought I was reading a serious quote at first then when the end line came I was like laughing loudly.


I am a year and a half out of a relationship and in that time, I have found only one guy I was interested in but he did the vanishing act. I really enjoy reading your blog and I feel that of many so-called dating experts that you are right on! However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time. I had a couple of serious rel’ships with guys in their 20s, when I was in my early 40s.
He says he misses me but I’m not gonna put up wih just being a temporary gf til he finds someone his own age. But if you are wistful for someone to grow old with, dating out of your generation is not an ideal place to look.
I have probably more dates than the average woman and I just can’t seem to find a guy I want to date.
And for every Demi and Ashton (Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us!), there are thousands of other instances of cross-generational relationships that die a quick, painless death. Go in with your eyes open and appreciate the experience for what it is – a dalliance with the youthful exuberance of your past.
Maybe not all of them, and maybe not this particular guy, but most guys in their 20s think an older woman is easier and hornier than women their own age.
Being involved with a guy 20 years younger than me and then realizing, on his part but never saying so, that past the initial excitement in dating he realized he’s not comfortable being openly in my life nor comfortable having me in his openly, it has made me sad and depressed. We lived together for 10 years before marriage and yes we invited all who could come from both families and friends and we married in a tiny rural church near Girona, Spain. He doesn’t want kids NOW, but he thinks he needs to find someone closer to his own age, so he can do it if he wants.
I have one child and though I do not want more IF I was with a man who wanted one and I was in love I wouldn’t rule it out.
Put another way, there’s a very good reason that you don’t see many 25 year old men with 45 year old women. And in every instance they always say they love her for her and that the age thing doesn’t matter.
As a fit, attractive, divorced plus 40 year old woman, absolutely the only guys who hit on me are in their 20’s.


I lost my father very soon afterwards and we had no honeymoon but I turned 66 last month and we are still married and have 2 homes, but no children. I recently met someone who is 31, exceptionally smart, mature, arty, and everything I’ve been looking for in a man.
I get contacted by a fair number of guys in their 20’s and most I don’t respond to because I just feel it won’t go anywhere. Because he was born in the 80’s, right about the time that you were losing your virginity in college. I would proceed with caution, if you’re looking for something more than a fling with a young stud. Neither of us is the slightest worried by that fact, and we have travelled over all of Europe and to America. He has pursued me knowing my age, but I have resisted because of my belief that this could never work. Recently, however, I was contacted by a guy in his mid-twenties and I was impressed by his profile…he’s mature, intelligent, articulate and attractive. And when all my friends would make fun of me and say, “Why would you date an older woman when you could date a younger woman?”, I’d say, “Why would you date a younger woman when you can date an older woman?”. You’re at the home buying, 401K saving, family planning phase of life – for MOST 46-year-olds. When we see the problems children have brought for my wife’s sister and her cousin, perhaps we were right to adopt this approach! Because he may be a great communicator, mature for his age, and relationship minded, but he’s also, y’know, a BABY. Now, there is a flaw in this system – the biological clock – which is much worse at 38 than at 23.
At that time in my life talking to good looking *girls* was still a bit intimidating and when I made the effort I was only rewarded with dull conversations.



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