Confidence tricks,the power of three secret breakers books,mind exercises to relieve stress 0.2 - And More

23.07.2014
It’s the number one advice that you hear over and over again for performers and public speakers.
Welcome to my blog, where stating the obvious, speaking the truth and using common sense seems to either inspire people, or royally piss them off.
When we are self confident, we act from a place of knowing who we are and where we are going. Arrogance, while often appearing as confidence is fueled by a selfish reason to appease one’s whims and desires, without care for consequences to others.
When I set my boundaries and do what is best for me, I tend to usually not hurt others in the process, because doing what is best for me involves surrounding myself with those who deserve my time, space and love.
It is possible to be all of you and have your boundaries and needs respected within relationships and friendships; provided you choose wisely. This entry was posted in Break-the-Cycle Series, Human Behavior, Relationships and tagged arrogance, balance, boundaries, Carmen Honacker, confidence, love yourself, loving yourself, self-confidence, selfish, selfishness, setting boundaries, standing up. It helped if they knew what they were talking about, but I’ve seen them plunge into situations for which they had no preparation and come out with the upper hand.
While that may seem an ethical and transparent approach to business, it made for a lousy living. My mistake was in leaving out the key ingredient that came so naturally to my cohorts: confidence.
The next week, I was sent in to do a follow-up meeting—really, a meet-and-greet with the head honchos. It took a handful of wonderful mentors and some time before I finally found the confidence I needed. Recently, professors Gavin Kilduff and Adam Galinsky released the results of their experiment on social dynamics. They assembled a random collection of college students, divided them into three groups, and gave each a writing assignment. Prior to the experiment, these team leaders did not possess any more confidence than their peers.
But that’s all it took for their peers to vote them as more competent than themselves.
If you want more confidence (and who doesn’t?), here are three easy things you can do to begin your journey to mastery.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. About SkipThis is a place designed to showcase thought leaders and my random thoughts to help you succeed.
I tell newcomers all the time, there’s 3 stages of growth in their athletic development. This is precisely why working your way up to heavy weights is important when you’re new. Arrogance is fueled by ego, fear, insecurity, narcissism, a need to prove, impress and gloat. Wouldn’t it make sense for me to require large amounts of alone time to recharge my batteries and hence, push away those I care about here and there?
People may often feel that they cannot be themselves or need to lose themselves when being with someone, but I found that the opposite can be true – when we have the confidence, experience and wisdom to choose for our higher purpose.


He could enter a conversation with people vehemently opposed to his political views, but by the end of the discussion they would usually be nodding their heads as they reconsidered their stance. Occasionally, they would have to poke me to make me hide my astonishment, lest I let the cat out of the bag.
The strength of their magic did not come from their competence of the subject matter—it came from their conviction that, whatever the issue, they were right.
My instinctive approach to selling, communication, and influencing used to be to present the facts in logical order, and then allow the other person to draw their own conclusions. By the end of the big meeting, the client showed all the signs of having made their choice. I undercharged and undersold my services (a deadly combination) because I didn’t believe I was worth more. One group wrote about their dreams and ambitions; the idea was to prime them to be confident.
These leaders didn’t enter their respective projects and immediately begin trying to assert themselves, like Dan and Craig naturally do. Like leadership and the ability to communicate, confidence is not something we are innately born with or not. The more you are aware of these times, the more you can understand the strengths you can build on and the circumstances that make you feel vulnerable.
Also, some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Sign up to receive my blog posts via e-mail and I’ll send you my servant leadership e-book FREE. Again, it might be true that a low self-esteem can make performance harder – but asking someone to correct their whole self-image just to be able to speak in front of people seems like disproportionately hard work.
There is a huge difference between confidence and selfishly pushing your agenda for the sake of your own gratification and ego. The intent is to do what’s best for your higher good and therefore often intertwines with was is good for others.
Confidence has given me the ability to recognize that I do require recharging of my batteries and then set the boundary by clearly stating when it becomes too much to be out and about. The people, situations and outcomes we choose and act upon within this realm do not infringe on our well-being, but instead help us grow and become continuously more confident and the butt kicker we set out to be. It would mean hiring more people, learning some new tools, and significantly changing how we operated. The second group wrote about their duties or about a time when they felt powerless; the goal was to put them in a deferential mindset.
All three groups of students were randomly selected, both for the experiment and for the writing assignments.
They live with the haunting feeling that they are frauds and that they will soon be discovered. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. It is a colossal effort, spent over years, to iron out enough psychological hang-ups to finally become confident.
Discover How to Build Self-Confidence and Realize Your Goals…Not Living Your Best Life?


There is a very clear line between being selfish and arrogant and being confident and loving. Confidence is a peaceful, quiet place – not fueled by ego, fear, need to prove, please or impress another.
It is built on quicksand with a house of cards and will blow over when challenged or proven otherwise. I find doing what is best for me, usually goes hand-in-hand with doing what is best for those around me, because I cannot be at my personal best and operate at my highest level, when I am off balance and feeling overwhelmed, unloved, ignored, angry, overextended, taken for granted, etc.
Confidence has also given me the ability to define these boundaries in a way that does not hurt or push away another by simply asking to stay in and watch a movie, for example, or asking to stay behind from this concert everyone is going to. When we choose from confidence and love, we choose what is best for us, almost 100% of the time, so the need to feel selfish, unkind and douche baggish also diminishes.
But most of the time, my two charismatic friends simply persuaded and influenced their listeners.
The third group was the control, writing about their commute to campus or a trip to the grocery store. Being loving and caring gives me the ability to allow another to freely choose if they want to be part of Carmen’s hamster ball of quiet, or partake in the rowdy bits without me, when I am feeling overwhelmed. The right people recognize light and intent and therefore won’t interfere, but add to it. But when it comes to working, selling, and communicating—that is, compelling other people to act—competence and such have never been enough to bring real success. These eternal questions have been asked over and over again by people living in different cultures, circumstances and the search brought some common answers.Here is a great article written by coach and author Zorka Hereford that gives some solid answers. Either way, my actions are loving and allow for both to get what they want, without being pushed away, or feeling selfishly imposed upon. Confidence is one of the key skills required to build sustainable success and live a happy, healthy life. Confidence is an ever changing and evolving flow of experiences, created by positive actions, aligned by the intent we have set in regards to whom we want to become and where we want to go. NetWhen I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the most profound, yet simple advice that changed the way I would view myself forever. In that case, think about how many times you may have met a gorgeous man or woman and then afterwards forgot how good looking they were because they had nothing interesting to say or could add nothing of value to your perspective. Physical attractiveness didn’t even make the top 10!The bottom line is that what you think of, and how you project yourself, is more important than merely having good looks. Building self-confidence is not only a great way to attract others, but a great way to feel good about yourself!Tips For Building Self-ConfidenceAcknowledge Your Uniqueness. If we each focus on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons, envy or regret. The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss and emptiness and overcame them.



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