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As a diviner of relationships and intuitive coach I help people through heartbreaks and self-discoveries in the wild tundra that has taken over modern-day dating. I empathise with those who are looking for love because the modern dating culture seems to have become a minefield of deception, game playing and limitless confusion. A look at some of the bestselling “dating guides” on Amazon showcases a wealth of so-called rules that include how long you should wait to contact, who should make the contact, how to have someone eating out of the palm of your hand and more.
Here is how we can find a little bit of honesty in an increasingly dishonest dating culture. Stop pretending that you don’t like someone in order to appear cool, gain power or because you are afraid.
Everything, would be much simpler and efficient we were more straight forward about how we feel. It’s time to put down the device and start to have more face to face interaction or at the very least talk to one another through that device. Love is supposed to be fun and yet so many approach it like it’s a business arrangement and they are knee deep in serious negotiation. At the risk of sounding absolutely archaic, maybe it’s time we get to know one another before we share a bed, couch or backseat.
When we mix the chemistry of our brains on sex with a new connection with little formed we make things exponentially more complicated.
You learn something new with each date both about yourself, relationships, other people and what you want and don’t want. The more honest we are with ourselves and what we want, the more we can go out into the dating world an honest person.
I encourage you to stop worrying about whether you are doing it right according to others and begin doing it right according to you and your own individual needs. A wearer of phenomenal shoes, drinker of fabulous wine and diviner of cards, Laura Brown’s mission is to guide and empower women on creating wild and passionate relationships. In most western countries, a girl agreeing to go on a date with you shows at least some kind of tentative commitment to perhaps beginning a relationship, but in mainland China it often means nothing. This is basically because within China, friendships between males and females are way more common, with often no actual interest in developing a physical relationship on either persons part. Many Chinese girls seem to imagine in fact, that to be taken out by a male and have dinner and a movie paid for without any chance of a potential relationship, is their God given birth right.
It was one of the most dull experiences of my life, not to mention the money I spent on this, although it wasn’t much, to this day still grinds on me.
When I asked subsequent Chinese girlfriends what exactly the point of the KTV deal was, it came down to two things: 1. They simply carry this opinion over to when they are dating western guys, imagining we must think the same thing also.
When dating Chinese women this can lead to a real waste of your time and money if you’re not careful. Many used my methods to change the situation into their favor, while others realized it was really going nowhere, and focused their attentions elsewhere.
Sam ReevesSam Reeves is a corporate manger in China and author of 'Chinese Dating Secrets Exposed'. This entry was posted in Chinese Culture, Chinese Girls and tagged chinese girls, dating chinese women, online chinese dating by Sam Reeves.
Tell me Furio, as I've always wondered this, but never had a chance to ask an Italian guy directly, have you found there's a deep connection between Chinese culture and Italian culture in relation to the deep feeling toward food and cooking? If you were raised with any sense of old fashioned dating at all you might notice something.
You and I have obviously a marked difference of experience with women, as I don't believe, nor have I ever believed, that is a woman is doing me a favor by going out with me.
Today, what you think is the right thing turns out to be wrong and everything is about power plays, down playing and denying. All of these guides are chalk full of trickery and petty manipulation that has created a modern dating culture filled with deceptive and at times totally conflicting qualities.
It’s time to get rid of destination obsession and just get to know one another without the heaviness of “where is this going” and other questions that often times are symptomatic of putting the cart before the horse. Than allow it to unfold and blossom as it is meant to; not as it will if you are obsessing over every tiny move and detail.
Entire relationships are started through text before ever meeting one another face to face.
We have all cheated, been cheated on, rejected, excluded and otherwise wounded in our past relationships.
I get it, people these days are getting intimate much sooner and I’m not opposed – hell that is how 90% of my relationships formed.

If you are only looking for a good time then run with it, but if you have found someone that you think you could sit still with, maybe taking a moment and holding off will let you build a foundation that will allow for that to happen.
It is hard to get out from its headlock and yet that is exactly what we need to do if we want to date in a more relaxed atmosphere. Everything is one step at a time and though that may be frustrating its time to accept that with compassion.
Save the games for the playground and demand a higher caliber of person in your life who is willing to do the same. With a decidedly blunt but down-to-Earth approach Laura hones in on the subtleties and helps women to understand the bigger picture within their love lives. It then, therefore, becomes quite a subjective term based on pre-conceived notions (theirs, and not yours), and not least, a bit of convenient obtusification on their part, when it suits them. Simply put, it means you can be led through a merry old dance with little to no results necessarily. This can also be the case if the girl in question has immigrated from China to a western country.
All the girls know he takes other girls out, and all the girls know he does pretty much the same thing with those other girls, that he does with them, i.e. Apparently (and this comes from the horses mouth) what they are giving is the pleasure of their scintillating company, and the grace of their presence, not to mention giving him good ‘face’!
The girls were brought into the room and you pick one, pay money and she plops herself down beside you. The initial fee is something of an introduction fee, after that, if you like the girl, you then negotiate a price for her to come home with you.
Well, it’s that the basic premiss is, in Chinese culture, that a woman is really doing you a favor by simply being seen with you! He has lived in China for ten years (give or take) and been involved with the Chinese community in his native country for many a year. I would meet a girl at Starbucks, arrive late and then bring her to the supermarket and buy stuff I needed for my daily life. I have a lot of female friends… and as far as I know, none of them are secretly planning to marry me Dia.
Dating can simply mean meeting someone, they frequently mistakenly use this word in the English translation. There are just certain types that can change and are willing to, and others that absolutely never will.
Even in American culture, when a guy is with a girl he should pay for things and treat her well like a date. That mindset will end up with a man paying out the ear for a very long time, when another guy isn't. If they are truly that intimidated by the gift of another’s interest do we really want them in our lives?
This distorts your energy and your broadcast and ends up altering how your lover responds to you. You chat back and forth and exchange photos until one of you is brave enough to suggest getting together. We need more communication that isn’t entirely predicated on words floating across a screen.
Not everyone, however, is using those experiences to excuse fearing commitment, taking advantage of others and otherwise being a total jackass to those who care about them. Do not choose someone because you want a (any) warm body there, because they happen to be good in the sack or to validate your status.
Stop telling yourself they are out of your range or too good for you because then they always will be. Date not for destination but for the chance to get to know someone no matter where things go. It’s good to know what you want, but not to become so rigid in it that you overlook someone who may be what you need and not just what you want.
Rather than getting upset because your friends are getting married and you can barely muster a date on a Friday, accept that you have your own path, your own trajectory and it’s not going to line up with others. Ultimately whether your dating experience is riddled with deception or honesty is a choice you must consciously make.
Learn more about Laura through her site, Wild Relationships, and stay up-to-date over at her Facebook page. With HIIT you train shorter and more effectively, boosting your metabolism and saving you time.
It takes quite a few years before they adapt to the western concept of dating, as in going out with a guy actually means something; some never do in fact.

Not every Chinese male dating Chinese women is trying to get into the girls pants should he get the chance (having said that, there are many others who are, but by ratio, less than non-Chinese males). I felt so uncomfortable and actually bored (she was no conversationalist, in Chinese or English), that I ended up ‘entertaining’ her!
I could have sat beside the Ronald McDonald statue, and he would have made pretty much the same amount of conversation as the girl did (although with a depth and wit only Ronald McDonald can muster). Not all KTV girls are prostitutes, but if they are not in the beginning, they certainly are by choice at a later stage. Many Chinese women really do believe that to be the case in fact, because many Chinese males actually do too.
But for dating none of the Chinese tradition sounds different from old-fashioned American traditions. There is a big difference with the first date and second date a man paying, as oppossed to forever without any hope of progress… and I did mean a relationship, not just sex. These days many prefer to stay in lifeless relationships than venture back into dating and who can blame them? You be you and let them be them…ultimately it’s the only way to get a feel for who people really are behind their masks.
He texts you a picture of his car so you know which one is his when you come down from your place to be picked up (remember when they used to pick you up at the door?! You do not need others to warm your bed or make you look good; make yourself look good and learn to be your own best lover.
It is, however, where you need to be in that moment and the acceptance of that is a beautiful and freeing realization. I paid for the privilege of entertaining her… somethings not quite right with that picture now is there? Again, I think Ronald McDonald would have been a better prospect, and that’s saying something bearing in mind he was rather stiff too. What Chinese girl in her right mind will waste her time without getting a husband out of it?? The rules seem to change with every tick of the clock and it seems it’s more about getting the advantage than having fun falling in love. Sometimes it’s not about the destination; those who are married or engaged are no more secure or better off than you are where you are at in this very moment.
If they do not want those things do not suddenly change your tune or think that you can bide your time. Very much like fashion it’s best to not follow every trend when you are navigating the dating landscape.
It’s important to choose someone who ultimately is going to support you in ways that has nothing to do with external validation.
If you talk yourself down or walk around feeling and believing your are unlovable you will attract those who affirm that externally. Let things evolve and move organically and let go of the assumption of where you think things should be and when. It sounds like a comfortable environment where you can interact without fear of sending the wrong message. You head to a mutually agreed upon place and sit across from one another and can hear crickets chirping. These days everyone is in such a damn rush to get to the end result they are glossing over the whole “getting to know you” phase.
Stop missing out on the present because you are so caught up in your preconceived notions of what should be. You realize that you really have no idea how to interact face to face and there is no emoji for real life dating. Is it really any wonder why so many people realize well after the fact that they are attached to completely incompatible people? So much so that you should not have to hide what you want or otherwise waste what is ultimately precious time on someone who is not on the same page as you. Marriages and relationships alike suffer when they are established on potential and not who you are actually getting involved with. Take some time to learn who they are beyond the mask we all wear when we are first getting to know someone.

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