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07.12.2013
Melanie Brown Kroon, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, provides therapy and consultations at Summit Center’s Encino office. As the search for identity becomes an increasingly important developmental task, teens look for a sense of identity within a social group. One characteristic I see over and over in the gifted population I work with is a need to be real, true to oneself and others, authentic.
Another issue for gifted teens is that they may feel enormous pressure, both internally and externally, to live up to their potential and achieve great things. These goals help children understand that they are not in therapy to be pathologized, but are in an environment that is dedicated to their wellbeing. Caring adults may try to help by finding ways to “fix” or reason them out of the sad, scared or angry feelings. For Twice Exceptional (2e) kids, children who are both gifted and struggling with a learning disability, part of know yourself is getting the proper testing and diagnosis in a strength-based environment. Many adults who come to see me identify adolescence as the time that things started to go wrong for them. Once you are able to articulate your experiences and feelings, we can move on to understanding what is really happening. Some of the skills that can be learned in therapy are boundary setting, assertiveness, choosing your battles, dealing with difficult people, identifying what you can control and what you can’t, and taking personal responsibility for your life. Boundary setting requires that you are able to recognize when something feels wrong to you: unwanted sexual attention, too many texts from a friend, overprotective behavior from a parent, not enough attention from a parent, etc.
Assertiveness is learning how to stand up for yourself, using clear words in a calm voice without being passive (doormat) or aggressive (bully), or going back and forth between the two extremes. Identifying what you can control and what you can’t, can keep you from figuratively (and maybe literally) banging your head against the wall. Learning to know, like and ultimately care for yourself are the three fundamental skills of emotionally healthy personhood. The Free Bonus below is a bonus extra free subscription that I have negotiated only for you as a selfesteemplus visitor. The course helped me and help also others as I am conducting a leadership course thru academic further learning programs. As a mentor it is easy to forget yourself when dealing with those who have multiple problems, the course has woken me up and given me a lift to carry on. Self-Defense: a€?Practice the fight so that you dona€™t have toa€? is a phrase that is often used to describe the self-defense benefits of Wu Shen Pai training. Athletic Enhancement: There is a reason why virtually every professional sports team in virtually every major sport supplements their training with martial arts. Health: Wu Shen Pai training is a proven link to better health for people of all ages, but especially children for several reasons. Concentration: Very few activities engage the mind, body and spirit more than training in the traditional Martial Way of Wu Shen Pai.
Respect and Courtesy: Due to the fact that Wu Shen Pai teaches techniques that could be harmful to others if applied, the instructors at WSMAA are obliged to stress the importance of respect, courtesy, and restraint. Confidence: Wu Shen Pai training virtually always lends to increased confidence in children for a couple of specific reasons.
Positive Role Modelsa€?a€“ Our Instructors are achievement orienteda€?a€“ Our Instructors seek to Improve childrena€™s skills to the best of their abilities. The need to belonga€?a€“ Training in Wu Shen Pai is a distinct individual activity.a€?a€“ This creates a feeling within your child of being unique and part of something out of the ordinary. Concentration and schoolworka€?a€“ Wu Shen Pai training helps children study through increased concentration and focus.a€?a€“ At WSMAA we monitor childrena€™s academic performance as well as their behaviors in academic settings.
Goal orientationa€?a€“ Achievement in our program will be evaluated periodically.a€?a€“ Children will see the result of their efforts through regular training. Call Warrior Spirit Martial Arts Academy today to schedule your evaluation program!


Wu Shen Pai Chua€™an Fa Gung Fu is not only a great way to give kids a head start on life, its good clean fun, too!
The implementation of our program is accomplished by our most skilled and accomplished Instructors.
Melanie works with individuals, couples and families specializing in the emotional needs of gifted and creative adults, adolescents and children. To understand why, let’s first look at some of the profound emotional changes common to all teenagers. It is so important that your child knows that you love them unconditionally, love them for who they are inside, and don’t need them to perform to win your love. You may be in the process of trying to figure out what gets in your adolescent’s way of achieving his or her goals. This is about understanding, sorting, finding accurate and useful meanings, and accepting the instrument of self.
Having someone to talk to in order to sort out feelings can be like undoing muscular knots before they lead to injury.
Adolescence, rife with challenges to developing a healthy sense of self, is a time that highlights vulnerabilities, but also offers great opportunities for learning necessary life skills.
We offer psychological & educational services for children, adolescents, adults and families. They want strong, healthy kids who will do well in life and be safe from the violence and negative peer pressure which is so prevalent in our society today.
It can be a catalyst to promote self-confidence, assertiveness, goal orientation, calmness, and concentration. It refers to the fact that as a child becomes more confident in their ability to defend themselves through their training in Wu Shen Pai at Warrior Spirit Martial Arts Academy, the need to defend themselves automatically decreases because they unconsciously begin to carry themselves in a more confident manner and that confidence is projected to those around them, making them less vulnerable to predatory behavior.
First of all, there are no bench sitters, every child participates and isA evaluated not against others but more importantly, against their own potential. Jones and Sifu Jones, both professional Educators, with the aim of developing the long term physical skills which will lead your child to become a world class martial artists!
Teens are trying to locate themselves as separate and unique individuals who can increasingly stand on their own two feet. The idea is that they learn to strive for excellence out of passion for an interest and self-care rather than a need to be perfect and feel like they have to earn your love.
It teaches that you should not feel what you feel, rather than understand the feeling, where it is coming from, what it is telling you, and then finally how to handle the feeling. If there is a hidden disability, we need to find it in order to prevent it from making your child feel like a failure. Working through the first two steps will help immensely with the ability to think through the question, “What should I do about it?” whatever “it” is.
It is important to remember that your child is a person, with emotional needs as well as intellectual needs. Our assessments and counseling can help you find more meaning and help your child be more successful. Warrior Spirit Martial Arts Academy has developed a special childrena€™s program which aids parents in building self esteem, self confidence, and self discipline.
As a matter of fact, many experts agree that in this day and age of escalating childhood obesity, increased playground violence and deteriorating family structure, if you do nothing else for your child, you should make sure that they learn how to swim and they learn martial arts. Therefore, a child who trains in Wu Shen Pai will find their deficiencies greatly enhanced. Second, the structure of Wu Shen Pai as a traditional Martial Way is built on the concept of setting children up for success by giving them a series of realistic, short term goals that they can attain quickly (colored sashes)A while keeping them focused on an exciting, long term goal (Black Sash). They need more time alone, more time with friends, and yet they need to know that you are still there when they need support. Yet many socially successful folks are good at knowing and playing into what is expected of them.


And lastly, gifted kids are exceptionally sensitive to hurt and fear in the present, and to past emotional injuries. The ability to identify, name and validate your feelings and needs is learned, and can be learned in therapy. When you get the message that you shouldn’t feel what you do feel, it can register as a flaw in who you are at your core. Kids can be very hard on themselves and barriers to developing a sense of agency (that feeling that “I can do whatever I set my mind to do”) in the world can make a child feel inherently flawed and helpless.
Taking the feelings and the experiences out of the suitcase to see what’s hiding in there and what to do with it. Or, more likely, because a bully is using you to try to feel powerful because they feel so vulnerable inside and cannot tolerate that feeling. Your child has to believe that he or she is worth taking care of, advocating for and deciding what is in his or her best interests. You can help your teen by holding this framework in mind as you support him or her, access help if you need it, and to work on this framework for yourself as well. Call us in the San Francisco Bay Area at (925) 939-7500 or in Southern California at (310) 478-6505. Also, because of the balance in the three pieces of the fitness puzzle, they are less likely to injure themselves while participating in other athletic endeavors. Each time they experience success, their confidence improves until they believe that with hard work and dedication, they can accomplish just about anything.
They won’t speak up if they see an injustice, and will protect themselves socially rather than risk doing what feels “right.” In other words, many gifted kids disagree with the social hierarchies and what it means to be “cool,” emotionally.
I enjoy the British concept of “sorting oneself out” because there is an organizational component to it. Therefore I have to be different from who I am, or pretend to be someone I am not, just to fit in.” Some kids can handle the duality of having a social face and a private face. Being “cool” means different things to different people, but for a lot of kids it means remaining emotionally cooled down, acting like you don’t care about things that you might care a lot about. So step one of know yourself begins with talking about yourself, your feelings, your experiences and your ideas with a safe person who will not judge, try to change your feelings, or tell you your feelings are wrong; someone who will validate and help you understand your own feelings. Self-blame cuts you down, causes negative behavior patterns such as denying needs and then exploding, and can be immobilizing. You are taking your emotional life out of the fog, looking at it, feeling it, thinking about it, and putting it in its place; all with a mind towards self-care. Gifted teens tend to do well with talk therapy even if their abilities are more mathematical than verbal, because they like to get to the point, have quick processes, and enjoy the opportunity to exercise an underused part of their brains.
Self-responsibility means you have choices, can anticipate rewards and consequences of your own behavior, and allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Sometimes the growth is recognizing that we have to put up with other people’s stuff without blaming ourselves, and sometimes it means developing a quiet inner confidence so that you are less likely to attract a predatory kid.
The risk is that the gifted teen begins to identify with the idea that he or she doesn’t fit in, and that that means there is something wrong inside. Or, “cool” might mean being interested in what the group is interested in, which may differ greatly from the interests of your child.
So, the need to fit in, combined with the need to be authentic, can create social conflict and ultimately a crisis in self-confidence. Then the task is for him or her to be able to talk about the anger, hurt and fear inside and deal with the real source of pain rather than take it out on someone else.
Bullies may see a gifted teen or tween as a lightening rod for bullying due to their tendency to either stand out or their attempts to make themselves invisible, thus appearing vulnerable.



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